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You keep telling yourself that.[1]

An excuse for rape, used by a character. Used in at least three situations:

  • When a rapist denies that his/her actions can be classified as rape because the victim climaxed. This ignores the physiological fact that orgasm is as much a function of sufficient nerve stimulation as anything else.
  • When a rape is occurring, and the victim first protests and then starts having fun.
  • When a character is raped until they like it and can't get enough of it.

There are real people who believe these things make rape into not-rape, or at least make it excusable. The law doesn't see it that way, and a person whose morals really justify violating a person's consent for fun is hardly moral at all, never mind how the victim feels.

Do not confuse this with Victim Falls For Rapist: the latter is about a rape setting up characters as a couple, even though one or both of them, as well as outsiders, know and acknowledge that it was rape. This trope is about the situation where the rapist and/or outsiders deny that it was a rape at all, because the victim became physically aroused or climaxed.

It should also not be confused with "rape fantasy", which is exactly that - a fantasy situation acted out by two (or more) parties with mutual consent. Just because someone is into this kind of fantasy roleplay does not mean they are "asking for it."

Unfortunately, this trope will often lead to Double Standard Rape (Female on Male).

Turns up often in Hentai, Boys Love Genre and Fanfiction. A lot.

No real life examples, please; incriminate yourself elsewhere (your local police would be interested), and don't use this page to smear the reputations of other people.

Examples of "It's Not Rape If You Enjoyed It" include:

Anime and Manga

  • As seen in the image, used by Saber Alter in a h-manga by Hiroe Rei Tex-Mex to justify her "usage" of Shirou.
  • In the H-manga Warau Kangofu, the protagonist gets raped by a Hospital Hottie, returns the favor in the next chapter, and upon getting better and getting released from the hospital promises to get sick again so he can come back and see her once more. Said hottie herself gets gang-raped by three other men (one of the men being an old man doesn't help) and finds it humiliating that she's enjoying the rape.
  • Battle Vixens, the "translation" of Ikki Tousen had the line "It's not rape if you smile behind the tears." This was not in the original version.
  • Berry Ecstasy has this as its climax, providing the Hand Wave of sheer masochism.
  • Invoked by Akai in Kite just to twist the knife a little bit deeper while he rapes the protagonist Sawa in front of her fellow assassin and would-be suitor Oburi. Oburi and Akai were not aware that Sawa was just playing along in an effort to gain Akai's trust so that she could double-cross him later.
  • This is brought up by Brick after the virginal protagonist in Bondage Queen Kate protests while being raped in the first OVA. To make it worse, she had been given a powerful aphrodisiac immediately before.

Brick: "If it's so bad, then why are you moving your hips?"

  • Words Worth: This is highlighted in an exchange between Prince Astral of the Shadow Tribe and Maria of the light tribe, the former genuinely confused that the latter would consider his taking her while she was chained to the wall (she was prisoner of war, at the time), and protesting the entire time, rape.

Astral: (confused) "But... but that's not what you said, earlier!"
Maria: (flustered) "Sh-shut up, you! And anyway, that was my body talking! Against my own will!"
Astral: "But that's ridiculous!"
Maria: (grins snidely) "You actually think I enjoyed having some nasty Shadow man thingy inside me?! Heh, you must be crazy!"

  • In Black Butler, episode 17, Sebastian does it on a nun named Matilda. Sadly enough, some fans actually hate poor Matilda for being raped by a good-looking demon, even though it's obvious he had no feelings for her and she didn't ask for it.
  • Painfully deconstructed in Sakura Gari, where we get to see the psychological consequences that such a trope brings on the victim - and arguably, even on the rapist... who also was a victim.
  • Invoked in Wolf Guy Wolfen Crest. While he and his Yakuza goons are gang-raping Aoshika-sensei, Haguro Dou forcibly gives her a Psycho Serum that causes her to physically enjoy herself, in an attempt to break her further than he already has.
  • Bible Black is one of the more infamous hentai to include this. Most rape scenes either eventually turn into consensual sex scenes, or are treated as such (aside from the screaming). The H-game version does avert this at least once though
  • In Yosuga no Sora, Nao rapes Haruka while they're young teens. Afterwards she begins putting her clothes back on, while he's still sort of on his back apparently not knowing what to do. Later he chases after her, and although she feels ashamed, he tells her he enjoyed it.
  • In Happy Yarou Wedding, Kazuki is determined that two men can't have a real relationship and considers his brother-in-law's reaction to being molested by him as proof, never mind Yuuhi's protests. Later on in the series it become clear why this was such an issue for him.

Comic Books

  • A recurring theme in the Housewives At Play adult comic book.
  • In the Fritz the Cat story "Fritz the No-Good", Fritz rapes the girlfriends of one of the revolutionaries in the story. However, she actually enjoys it! This trope reoccurs in "Fritz the Cat, Superstar", where Fritz throws himself on a fan and she doesn't seem to object much, only commenting "wow, man, you're too much".

Fan Works

  • Sort of experienced by George in With Strings Attached, when Fi'ar doses him with Lust Dust and he leaps on her. Later, safely away from her and her vengeful mother, he decides she effectively raped him, except he remembers the brief experience as enjoyable, which annoys him. Ultimately he decides he has more important things to worry about.
  • The author and Ronan believe this in Naruto Veangance Revelaitons. When Ronan starts having sex with an unconscious Sakura, she wakes up in the middle, asks if he had fun, then they continue. Later on, Sakura gets raped by the catgirls and enjoys it.

“but skura liked it so it wasnt rapde do u c dn”

  • Every fandom has fics like this, they're generally tagged "dubcon" or dubious consent, as opposed to "noncon." Many fics get away with this by throwing in some line about how if the victim was truly adamant about escaping, they definitely could, as they were not being held down too hard, or were given a chance to "run away". Also a common subversion is to have it seem like this is being played straight, until post-sex activities reveal that it was actually a pre-planned role-play situation, and the audience simply wasn't privy to that information.
  • In Fever Dreams Misa seems to think so when she assaults Light in front of his mother and sister:


  • Perhaps most controversially used in Sam Peckinpah's Straw Dogs, in which the unfulfilled wife of a nebbish professor is raped by her brawny former boyfriend and, midway through, begins to enjoy it due to her lingering affection for the man.
  • Similarly in the Russ Meyer film Lorna the titular character is raped by an escaped convict and starts to enjoy it. She subsequently invites the man back to her home for sex.
  • Several Bond movies come to mind. Goldfinger in particular, where Bond forcibly kisses the self-proclaimed lesbian Pussy Galore, who then immediately switches sides in more ways than one. That's right; James Bond was an early practitioner of "corrective rape".

[from the book] Bond liked the look of her. He felt the sexual challenge all beautiful Lesbians have for men. He was amused by the uncompromising attitude that said to Goldfinger and to the room, "All men are bastards and cheats. Don't try any masculine hocus on me. I don't go for it. I'm in a separate league."

  • In Young Frankenstein, it looks like Elizabeth is about to be raped by the monster... but once she sees the size of his schlong, she doesn't seem too horrified. Never-mind the necrophilia implications! She later expresses longing for the creature and eventually marries it

Elizabeth: "I'm a... I -"
ZZZIP (Monster unzips his pants)
Elizabeth: "...oh my god! Woof!"
"Ohhhhhhh sweet mystery of life, at last I've found youuuuuuu!"

  • The plot of the 1977 adult film Joy. The heroine enjoys it so much her enthusiasm scares off the rapist. Soon she's indiscriminately doing the same to men all around town. Her male victims are uncertain whether or not they should press charges for the same reason.
    • Quite a few adult films have this trope, unfortunately.
  • In The Rocky Horror Picture Show, Frank N. Furter sleeps with both Brad and Janet. To do this, he disguises himself as the other character and gets frisky. When the disguises come off, they initially object, then give in.

Janet: "Oh, STOP... I mean help..."

  • Possibly in the movie Carrie, when the title character was conceived. Carrie's mother Margaret is an extreme religious fanatic who finds sex within marriage objectionable, and may be crying rape because of her overdriven sense of sexual guilt.

"He took me, with that filthy roadhouse whiskey on his breath, and I liked it. I liked it!"


"And don't delude yourself this was rape. That would flatter us both."


Brian: "You were raped?!"
Mother: "Well, at first, yes."

  • In Revenge of the Nerds, Lewis (a nerd) commits Rape By Fraud against head-cheerleader Betty by disguising himself as her mean boyfriend, Stan (the quarterback). He reveals himself to her immediately after, she is so overwhelmed by Lewis's sexual expertise that she falls in love with him.
  • In Gone with the Wind, Rhett Butler rapes his wife Scarlett, but the next day she's blushing blissfully about it. This also counts as Values Dissonance since the idea of marital rape being a crime is a very new concept and was not around at the time the book or movie were made.
  • In the Hanzo The Razor trilogy of films (starring Shintaro Katsu of the Zatoichi series), the titular policeman interrogates women by raping them until his massive penis has brought them to such ecstasy that they cannot refuse telling him whatever he wants to know.
  • In Rob Roy, Archie (the villain) is speculating on various possible fathers, one of whom "lifted [his mother's] skirts at a masque ball." When Archie's girlfriend, shocked, replies "He ravished her?" Archie simply says "I would put it no higher than surprise." Later on, when Archie rapes the hero's wife, Brian Cox shows up to tell her that it doesn't count as a sin (of adultery) if she didn't enjoy it. Even further on, Archie taunts Rob by musing if Mary enjoyed it somewhat.
  • In High Plains Drifter, the third thing Clint Eastwood's character does after riding into town is to drag off a woman who was harassing him and force himself on her. Halfway through the act she starts kissing him enthusiastically. Later she comes after him with a gun—according to the other characters she was angry because he "didn't come back for more", but given how awful the townspeople are it's debatable how true this statement is.
  • The Killer Inside Me: Joyce starts hitting Lou, Lou hits her back, and then shoves her down on the bed and starts beating her with his belt. It's awful... until he apologizes, looking shocked at himself, and she tells him it's OK and kisses him. They then begin an S&M relationship.
  • A borderline case occurs in Unfaithful (the American remake of "La Femme infidèle"); wife Connie Sumner (Diane Lane) is walking out on Paul Martel (Olivier Martinez) to stop her affections from developing further. Martel angrily chases her out of his apartment, slams her against the wall, and starts forcibly kissing and groping her. She struggles at first, then quickly submits to her infidelity.
  • In Lust, Caution, the heroine ends up falling in love with the man she's been ordered to sleep with and whose idea of intimacy is to take her by force.
  • In Dreamscape, people have the ability to visit other people's dreamworlds while they're asleep by way of psychic abilities. Alex uses this trope as his rationalization for covertly inserting himself into Jane's dreams to make her think she was having a sex fantasy about him, rather than making out with the real life person. The fact that she enjoyed herself doesn't negate the fact that he just basically raped her (Mind Rape?), as she was in no position to give informed consent.


  • Used in Ayn Rand's The Fountainhead. In her own words, Ayn Rand declares "If it is rape, then it is rape by engraved invitation." Through the use of subtle advances, the heroine basically does everything an upstanding woman of the 1920s can do short of ripping off her clothes and humping his leg to get his attention - without ever explicitly consenting. Given that she repeatedly refers to it as rape after the fact, yet seems to be proud of the experience, it probably suffices to say that Rand had some odd ideas about sex and consent.
  • Tylin to Mat in The Wheel of Time. A truly horrifying example in which the victim keeps on seeking help from his (female) friends who are awesomely powerful mages that owe him their lives... and they laugh at him, telling him he "deserves" to be repeatedly raped (for offenses which include having been a flirt in his teenage years, and the aforementioned saving their lives). It is only after he has had a personal breakdown from these events, recovered from it, escaped (saving his ingrateful alleged "friends" once again), and several other events have happened that someone gives the women in question a What the Hell, Hero? speech and makes them apologize... which they use as simply another opportunity to insult Mat. Most chilling of all, the author seems to agree with this treatment.
  • One of many rape tropes present in the Outlander series. Jack Randall purposefully alternates between brutal sadism and romantic attentions, in an attempt to elicit a physical response from his male victim, and he succeeds. Jamie is left disturbed, confused, and furious. (Though at least one reader has ended up pleading this trope in Randall's defence...) In another instance, with a female making the advances and without the sadism, Geilis quite clearly takes advantage of Ian during Voyager. Other characters seem ambivalent about this, in what appears to be Deliberate Values Dissonance. We hope.
  • Classical Mythology features - well, it's difficult if it could be termed "Rape," even if the girl is a maiden or a Happily Married woman and the guy is the King of All Gods and kind of difficult to turn down. Whether it was consensual or not is always debatable (though the incidences with the swan and the bull are pretty harsh), but whenever there is a child resulting from said union (and there always is) the child is raised with love and pride to be a great hero. Often, in times when portraying sexual acts between two consensual humans in art was utterly inappropriate, many artists faced no trouble in painting or sculpting scenes such as this, instead.
  • In Stephen King's Carrie, as described in the entry for the film.
  • A weird example in another King book, The Dark Tower. An incubus doesn't want to rape Susannah if she's enjoying it. At first it overpowers her and forces itself upon her painfully, but when she pretends to like it, it tries to get away.
  • Gone with the Wind.
  • Subverted in Kushiel's Legacy. Several times, Phedre has been places in situations where she has been forced into sex with another person. She mentions the worst part of the experience is always the humiliation of enjoying it.
  • From the Discworld:

"Not rape. I believe," said Mr. Betteridge, finding a rock on which he could stand. "Not in the case of Cohen the Barbarian. Ravishing, possibly."
"There is a difference?"
"It's more a matter of approach, I understand." said the historian. "I don't believe there were ever any actual complaints."

  • Speak: Andy Evans pulls this on Melinda in The Climax, right before trying to rape her. Again. This time, she kicks his ass.
  • Not precisely this trope, but in Vladimir Nabokov's Lolita, the eponymous character initiates her first sexual encounter with the narrator, inviting him to play "a game she learned at camp"—of course we have only Humbert's word on this.
  • In V. C. Andrews' Flowers in the Attic, after Christopher begs Cathy to forgive him for raping her, she comforts him by insisting that she wanted it just as much as he did and could've stopped him if she'd wanted to. However, in the description of the rape itself Cathy describes having initially tried to fight him off, but that "It wasn't much of a battle" because of his greater weight and height (a sentiment she follows, however, almost immediately with "And I loved him"). Factor in that the two are brother and sister and the whole event becomes even more distressing.
  • Averted in The Guardians. When vampires drink, it is the blood donor who chooses whether to resist or invite the Blood Lust. Over the course of the series, several vampires are forced to have sex they don't want, and depending on the circumstances it's treated as anything from a tragedy to outright rape.
  • In the Hurog series by Patricia Briggs, Ward is very uncomfortable discussing what happened to him while he was a prisoner. Another character reassures him that he shouldn't feel guilty or question his sexuality; rape is rape, no matter if his body enjoyed it or not.
  • Subverted in Henry Sackerman's The Love Bomb: Two men grab a woman and have their way with her. She puts up a fight, but ends up enjoying it. This was an elaborate sexual roleplay planned in advance by the woman: She had a bit of a fetish for putting up token resistance, and chose two implicitly trusted fuckbuddies whom she thought might enjoy it for the scenario.
  • A subversion on Thirty Rock. For some reason, Jenna is convinced that she needs to have sex with Kenneth. When he refuses, she threatens to take him while he sleeps.

Jenna: It's not rape if neither of us want it!

  • How Like a God almost hits this trope, but the protagonist has just enough decency left to reconsider. (It helps that the issue of consent's even iffier here than normal.)
  • A Song of Ice and Fire: In the fifth book, Asha Greyjoy is seemingly raped by one of her crewmen. Halfway through the scene it becomes clear that she enjoys it and that the seeming rapist is her long-time lover. Apparently she considers this par for the course in their relationship; but then, she is a famed pirate in a very misogynistic setting. Either that, or it was roleplay, which is pretty likely, as she's more than capable of defending herself.
    • Also notable in that, despite the series being wall-to-wall with rape, this is the only instance that is described on the page.
  • One of the most disconcerting parts about Push: Precious recalls her father raping her and vividly remembers enjoying it in parts, despite the awful shame and self-loathing that came with it (not to mention the two pregnancies).
  • Played disturbingly straight (despite Aliens Made Them Do It, and all the more so for the fact that they end up as an Official Couple) in Stardoc with Cherijo and Duncan. And again in Bio Rescue (in the same 'verse, but not the same series) with Dair and Onkar...only without Aliens Made Them Do It, and with the addition of its resulting in pregnancy.
  • Near the end of One Hundred Years of Solitude, the latest Aureliano is unable to cope with his attraction to Amaranta Ursula, who is his aunt and who he believes to be his sister, and rapes her while her husband is in the other room. She tries to fight him off at first, but ends up enjoying it so much that her feelings of love are transferred from her husband over to him.
  • Invisible Man by Ralph Ellison. It features a man who rapes his daughter while he's asleep. She enjoys it so much that when he comes out of his dream and realizes what he's doing she refuses to let him stop.

Live Action TV

  • This trope is often discussed on Law and Order Special Victims Unit, especially when there are male rape victims. "Arousal is not consent", or words to that effect, are often heard in these situations. Specific examples include:
    • When three female white collar workers are accused of raping a male stripper. Lots of politics get flung around at the bail hearing, until the judge declares that women's rights have moved forward enough for women to also take responsibility as potential sexual predators.
    • There's another episode where a man is raped by another man and doesn't want his girlfriend to know about it because he climaxed.
  • In Picket Fences, a woman rapes a man, and the police are a bit confused, also pointing out that he did climax himself.
  • This trope makes up the plot of the song "Nightman," but don't try to tell Charlie that.
  • May play a factor in the very complicated consent dynamics between Spike and Buffy in Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
    • Including a polarising exploration of how even within a (semi) consensual relationship, there can still be full rape. Yes, even if the two had previously been consenting partners. Despite being Truth in Television, this did not go over well.
    • Spike learned his habits with Drusilla:

Spike: I want Dru back, I just gotta be the man I was. The man she loved. I'm gonna do what I should have done in the first place. I'll find her, wherever she is, tie her up, torture her till she likes me again. Love's a funny thing.


Dean's Lawyer: And you find my client attractive?
Paige: (hesitating) Yes. I did. Before.
Dean's Lawyer:My client put his hand inside your blouse, did you immediately reject him? Slap him? For the record, please.
Paige: No.
Dean's Lawyer: This is very difficult for you I know, but when my client touched your breast how did you respond? Did you enjoy it?
Paige: (hesitating) No. Well, at first...yeah.
Dean's Lawyer: You're telling us that you did. Ms. Michalchuk.

    • Needless to say, Dean's lawyer was a total bitch and an Amoral Attorney, and the judge believed Paige and thought the lawyer was a moron. He only won because there were no witnesses or physical evidence to back up Paige's story, since she waited so long to report the rape in the first place.
    • They've gone back to this well with Declan/Holly J - at this point it's not known where they'll go with it but it's already a Base Breaker. In this case they went with the "It's not rape if you say no but don't fight it and change your mind about it" option there.
  • The defense used by the people who run the Dollhouse in Dollhouse is that when Actives are sent on romantic engagements, they genuinely love the clients and willingly have sex with them, having no idea that they've been hired out rather than being in long-term relationships with the clients or that their own memories and personalities are constructs.
    • Agent Ballard disagrees, of course, and feels terrible about sleeping with Mellie after learning that she's an Active. He also refuses to have sex with Echo, a self-aware Active who has integrated her imprint personalities, because he doesn't think it's right while her original personality, Caroline, is still missing.
  • Averted in My Name Is Earl (in tandem with an aversion of Double Standard Rape (Female on Male)), where after Earl's comatose-but-dreaming body is kidnapped/stolen the medical examiner refers to "involuntary climax" and Joy (of all people) insists on making more fervent the hunt for vengeance.
  • Rescue Me's third season episode "Sparks" features Tommy in an argument with his ex-wife over the ownership of some property, all of which Tommy insists are his and basically tells his ex-wife "You're mine", rips off her panties and forces himself on her, she fights for a while but eventually enjoys it. Cue outrage.
  • Discussed in the first episode of Crownies by two of the prosecutors.
  • Cracker had a discussion something along the lines of

Perp: "But he got a hard-on, he enjoyed it!"
Fitz: "I've had a hard-on from the vibrations of a bus, it doesn't mean I want to shag the conductor."




You said:
Well I've got no time for victims and I don't think it was all that bad
If you can't run to save yourself then you deserve to be had [...]
And I think you even enjoyed it, I think I even saw you come


She's kicking and screaming, begging for me to fucking stop it
Look, you know it's not rape if you like it, bitch
So sit down like a pretty ho and don't fight the shit



Video Games

  • The Neverwinter Nights mod series The Bastard of Kosigan has a couple of scenes that can play out this way. If the player has a high enough Charisma and chooses the violent rape option with Diane in the forest north of Cologne, the following text is something along the lines of "she is a lot less reluctant than she should be."
    • In A Dance With Rogues, if you lead Vico along enough in the second mod the scene in the dwarven inn will play out a lot like a rape scene, and you have the option of fighting him off or going along (which locks you into a romance with him).
  • Embric of Wulfhammers Castle sees the Duchess raped by a woman; she acknowledges that it was rape, and does accuse Carmina of raping her, but the fact that she enjoyed it (and doesn't mind describing it in erotic detail for her maid to arouse herself with later) is just one of the mitigating factors involved.

Web Original

  • One of the Ask That Guy segments had the question "If you rape a prostitute, is it rape or just theft?". He claims that he raped a prostitute and was charged for both crimes, with his defense being that she enjoyed it just as much as he did.
  • The first variation is used in Dept Heaven Apocrypha when the villain makes sure a character he's raping climaxes, then uses it to torture that character mentally. The scene is played for Nightmare Fuel, and shortly after, the victim loses his mind completely. The results are not pretty.
  • In Survival of the Fittest Version 3, Adam Reeves attempts to justify his rape of Maxie Dasai by asserting that her body's arousal meant that she was into it. It's left ambiguous, but strongly implied that he brought her to orgasm (Reeves himself certainly thought so). He is the only one that thought it was okay.
  • Literotica enforces the trope. It won't allow stories to be tagged with the word "rape," and it won't allow stories where a rape victim doesn't enjoy it. If the rape victim does enjoy it, however, it's classified as "nonconsent" instead.


  • While there was no actual sex, there was a somewhat arguable example in Collar 6. Sixx drugged Laura without her knowledge, and had Ginger molest her. Even though Laura was already in a submissive relationship with Sixx, this led to a Dude, Not Funny reaction, and eventually the author had Sixx apologize, and realize that what she'd been doing was wrong.
  • Kit N Kay Boodle has a storyline wherein the titular characters and a psychic friend astrally rape the queen of a neighboring country while she's negotiating a contract with her lawyers; when she cries in pain, they switch to oral sex, and she begins to enjoy it—when the lawyers try to rescue her from this when they realize that the reading glasses she's wearing are the link between her mind and her rapists, it attracts the attention of her doorman, who then accuses the three of them of raping her and throws them out before negotiations are complete. This was the entire point, and at no point is any of it ever considered bad or morally questionable because the protagonists did it.

  1. Source: doujin Purple Sky, Golden DawN. Not affiliated with, or a substitute for, actual Fate/Stay Night canon.