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  • "According to this star map, Johnny Depp lives....right in these bushes."
  • "You got a text message from Satan! 'See you soon'..."
  • In "RomANTS", when Lexi tries to make it look like Paisley is choking so that she could save her and get into the school newspaper:
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 Paisley: I've got food lodged in my Snuffleuffagus!

Olive: Does she mean her esophagus?

Lexi: Yes. Her brain is oxygen starved-more than usual!

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    • In the same episode, there's Gibson's breakup with Sophie (note that both of them are around six)
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 Sophie: Can I have your juice box?

Gibson: No! You may be my girlfriend, but you're still a girl. I don't want to get cooties!

Sophie: Give me it!

Gibson: No!

Sophie: DOODY HEAD! (pours a bucket of sand on Gibson's head, then storms off)

Gibson: Come on, babe, we can work this out!

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 Chyna: And I thought Tatiana was two-faced before... now she's literally two-faced!

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  • in "replicANT", Mr. Parks always getting his eyes hurt with remainders of teargas around his house.
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 Chyna: Dad are you crying?

Darryl Parks: Nah, it's just... There's teargas left on this uniform. *wipes his eyes on his daughter's uniform* Aah! That is teargas left on that uniform!

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    • And later on:
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 Cameron: Dad, are you watching a chick flick and crying?

Darryl Parks: Of course not, there's teargas left on this pillow. *wipes his eyes on the pillow* Aah! Why is this stuff all over the house?!

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 Fletcher: Your past alone would take at least a month.

Olive: And considering your age, I'm surprised you even have a future.

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  • When Chyna attempts to do the Robot, the Dougie, and the Dougie and the Robot, a mortified Cameron responds "You just took two of my favorite things and made them horrible".
  • The goth kids at Toxic Wasteland rocking out to the fake kid's band Chyna formed.
    • Admit it, you were amused by Angus' attempt at exercise.
  • Lexi griping about her role in Grease:
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 Lexi: I can't play Rizzo. She is a mean, manipulative, brunette. I'm nothing like that. I'm blonde.

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  • Lexi attempting to hug Chyna while wearing a doughnut costume.
  • Everything Olive does at Chyna's sleepover. (Though that may be the last time Chyna ever invites Olive to spend the night).
  • This line:
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 Paisley: "Huh, in the movies the ragtag team of misfits usually win not the team headed by the evil blonde cheerleader. (Beat) I'll get this one. Shut up, Paisley!"

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