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- Hancock: Jerkass superhero gets a PR man.
- The Hangover: A group of friends go out for a night on the town and wake up not remembering a thing. You see more of the latter than the former.
- The Hangover Part II: A group of friends go out for a night on a foreign town and wake up not remembering a thing. This time, with more things you didn't need to see.
- Happy Feet: Several layers of social commentary, wrapped in a 'first contact' subtext, taped with religious and mythic connotations, and directed by George Miller, to boot. Oh, and there's tap-dancing. In Antarctica.
- Or, Footloose with penguins.
- Happy Gilmore: Billy Madison plays golf so his grandmother doesn't have to live with Derek Zoolander.
- Happy-Go-Lucky: A schoolteacher takes driving classes and has a social life.
- A Hard Day's Night: Pop band and grandfather spend time in a train and a room, and a car and a room, and a room and a room. They all then get chased by the police and perform a concert.
- Help!: A drummer from a pop band gets on the wrong side of an Indian death cult and a Mad Scientist with funding issues because of a new ring.
- Yellow Submarine:Mean people invade idyllic land, and are defeated by The Power of Rock.
- An old man, author, and four musicians have psychedelic adventures and fight mean people.
- Let It Be: A band tries to revive its team spirit, only to make things worse.
- Give My Regards to Broad Street: In a dream, a musical genius must recover a lost master tape. His sanity may be on the line.
- Sgt Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band: The Bee Gees steal a bunch of musical instruments from Aerosmith's hired goons, and it's almost a downer ending until the weather vane comes to life.
- The Hamiltons: It's just like Party of Five, except they're cannibalistic serial killers.
- Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle: Two stoners have difficulty finding their favorite restaurant.
- Harold and Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay: Two stoners are mistaken for terrorists. Neil Patrick Harris ensues.
- A Very Harold and Kumar 3D Christmas: Two stoners try to find a Christmas tree on Christmas Eve.
- Harry Potter and the Philosopher's/Sorcerer's Stone: A boy discovers he has a talent and goes to a school for his talent, where the teachers, as in real life, are either good or bad.
- Alternate: Orphan discovers his parents enrolled him in boarding school before they died. He kills one of his teachers and doesn't want to go home for the summer. He's the hero.
- Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets: The boy keeps seeing a midget and has to stop a snake.
- Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban: The boy reunites with his godfather and has weird encounters with cloaked people.
- Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire: The boy illegally enters a competition and fights a bald guy.
- Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix: The boy's school is taken over by a baddie. Climactic scene has people fighting over a glass ball.
- Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince: The boy is stalking one of the teachers and trying to get laid.
- Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part One: The boy and his two friends look for and then carry a necklace around.
- Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part Two: The boy and his friends rob a bank and nearly destroy his school.
- The Haunted Mansion: A workaholic and his kids try to stop a creepy butler from making the workaholic's wife marry a ghost. It's based on a theme park ride.
- Heat: Two workaholics find themselves in direct competition as each aims to completely screw up the other's plans, as all the while their personal lives implode spectacularly. The highlight of the movie is a scene in which the two meet for the first time, have a friendly coffee and pleasantly and calmly discuss why exactly they're trying to screw each other over.
- Heathers: A popular girl falls for a bad boy as they plan to blow up their school. Hijinks ensue.
- Hedwig and The Angry Inch: A transsexual rock musician stalks her ex-boyfriend in an attempt to sue him for copyright infringement.
- Hellboy: Man defies his main purpose in life.
- Hellboy II: The Golden Army: Elven attempt at saving the Earth from those foolish humans meets demonic resistance. The demon is the good guy.
- Or: The scattered members of a once powerful, noble, ancient magical race have a family reunion in an American sewer and immediately start to quarrel over the remote control.
- Help! I'm a Fish Three kids get turned into fish due to an Absent-Minded Professor being concerned with the environment. Hilarity doesn't ensue, as another fish goes on an ego trip, and tries to become king of the sea. The fish sounds like Alan Rickman.
- Alternatively: Three kids turn into sea creatures because an Absent-Minded Professor is worried about the environment. Soon, they discover that the antidote that was supposed to make them human again gave some fish intelligence. Oh yeah, and Alan Rickman's in it.
- Hellraiser: A man recovering from a terminal illness has an affair with his brother's wife. Later, his niece plays with a Rubik's cube and hangs out with some kinky goths.
- Hercules: Superman IN ANCIENT GREECE!
- Hero: A guy tells the king a story. The king says he's lying. The guy admits it. In the meantime, sword-fighters slay all laws of physics.
- High Fidelity: A self-absorbed, broke music store owner is dumped by his lawyer girlfriend, and is bitter about it. Gets over it by hanging out with his employees and sleeping with one of the Cosby children. Later goes into business with teenagers who once tried to rob him.
- High Noon:We have to watch Gary Cooper's every move for over an hour. The rest of the town tries to get him to just go away. Most people seem dissatisfied with his choices, including himself. At one point there's a heated debate in which everyone decides not to do anything.
- Highlander: Super-centenarian travels to New York to claim a prize.
- High Plains Drifter: Mysterious stranger takes a bath and paints the town red.
- His Girl Friday: Editor attempts to persuade retiring journalist to cover execution by repeatedly framing insurance agent for minor misdemeanors.
- History of the World Part One: One man is a king, a prophet, a philosopher, a pissboy, and torturer with a musical number that nobody expects.
- Hitch: Jim West gives advice to the Zookeeper and is allergic to shellfish.
- The Hitcher: Young man picks up a hitchhiker, whom he kicks out after a tiff; the guy keeps giving him presents and a waitress does some serious stretching.
- The Hitchhikers Guide to The Galaxy: The world ends, everyone dies. When the world is restarted at the end of the movie, the hero is offered the chance to adjust the world, making the world have more or less of anything. He decides not to interfere, and he goes traveling instead. This is supposed to be a comedy.
- Hive Mind: A film consisting entirely of a guy sitting around in a basement while talking to his imaginary friend and looking at naked women.
- Hobo with a Shotgun: Vagrant acquires a smoothbore firearm.
- Home Alone: Family comedy about a young child who is abandoned by his family and robbed in his own home. On Christmas Eve.
- Home Alone 2: Lost in New York: Family comedy about a young child inflicting incredibly graphic and brutal torture on two comic bunglers. Still on Christmas Eve.
- Home Alone 3: Family comedy about a young child with chicken pox. Not the same one as in the previous two films but this one is aided by a parrot and a mouse. Not on Christmas Eve.
- Honey, I Shrunk the Kids: Kids discover how dangerous the garden of their house is.
- Honey, I Blew Up the Kid: Absent-Minded Professor gets worried about his youngest son's growth.
- Honey, We Shrunk Ourselves: Absent-Minded Professor and wife try communicating with their son.
- Hook: The leader of a group of Child Soldiers returns a changed person.
- The Host: Dysfunctional family band together to save youngest member from giant lungfish that may or may not be carrying SARS.
- Hot Fuzz: Model one-man British police force gets transferred from his crime-infested city to a town where nothing bad ever happens. His partner, a fat guy who loves Buddy Cop Shows, wants to make his life exciting again. Lots of Ho Yay ensues.
- Police officer ruins village inspection.
- House on Haunted Hill: Dysfunctional couple try to resolve their problems with a house party.
- The 1999 version: Rightful tenants of a comfy, spacious house hang around until a bunch of greedy people arrive to pester them.
- The Howling: Woman is romantically pursued by supernatural stalker named Edward. Based on the popular novel of the same name.
- How to Train Your Dragon: Scrawny young teen stops a seven-generation long war and impresses his dad by eating a raw fish that his best friend spit back up. Cuteness ensues.
- Alternate: Pretty girl ignores nerd until he gets a new ride.
- The Hudsucker Proxy: After industrialist commits suicide, board of directors appoint naive mail-room clerk to position of CEO, whereupon he promptly invents the hula-hoop.
- Hugo: A squatter's broken toy leads an old man to confront his past.
- The Hunchback of Notre Dame: A government official tries to rape Demi Moore and emotionally abuses a handicapped man who talks to architecture. It's a musical.
- Hunger: A member of Parliament starves to death. Meanwhile, prison guards clean up lots of bodily fluids.
- The Hunger Games: Girl gets stuck in some woods, and tries to leave them with her neighbor.
- The Hunt for Red October: Sean Connery steals a giant submarine. Alec Baldwin finds it. In the process World War III almost breaks out. On Christmas.
- Alternate: The memory of his deceased wife prompts a ship captain to contemplate a career change.
- The Hurt Locker: Two guys have to put up with a new co-worker who enjoys their job a little too much. Explosive levels of angst ensue.
- Hustle & Flow: Pimp loves his girls, raps about beating them.