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  • Jacobs Ladder: Man comes home from war. He notices that something is very different about the world.
  • Jailbait: Prison bitch tries to kill his rapist. With a pencil.
  • James Bond: Man who needs to be discreet and effective, but introduces himself with his full name and goes after every girl he meets. And, every bartender on the planet knows his Drink Order. Also, faces people who don't know simple killing methods.
  • Jaws: Scientist, police officer afraid of water and war veteran go fishing. With explosives.
    • Or: A fish starts eating people.
    • Jaws 2: Police officer's kids go fishing. Without explosives.
    • Jaws 3D: Police officer's son goes fishing at a theme park. Actually, not all that great.
    • Jaws: The Revenge: Stalking fish goes human hunting. Actually as bad as it sounds.
  • JCVD: A washed-up action star, playing himself, tries to pay his alimony.
  • Jeder für sich und Gott gegen alle AKA The enigma of Kaspar Hauser: A sheltered teenage boy learns about the world for the first time and dies violently. The boy was played by an amateur actor in his forties.
  • Jesus Christ Superstar: The rock opera of the death of an important religious leader, using a strangely diverse cast and anachronistic props.
  • Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter: The musical of the return of an important religious leader, but this time he has to use kungfu to save Ottawa's lesbian community from vampires. A luchador helps him.
  • Jumanji: A (board) game of life or death.
    • Zathura: A (board) game of life or death... IN SPACE!
  • The Jungle Book: A kid fights a tiger. And wins.
  • Junior: A muscle-bound scientist with a peculiar accent impregnates himself. His nipples become very sensitive. And he could not have done a worse job picking the other parent, even though there is attraction between them.
  • Juno: Girl deals with pregnancy and speaks weirdly.
  • Jurassic Park: Two kids get invited to visit their grandfather's zoo and watch a lawyer feed one of the animals.
    • The Lost World: Jurassic Park: Girl accompanies her father to the breeding facility of the zoo, where he would meet his ex-wife. One of the animals follows them home.
    • Jurassic Park III: Boy gets lost in the breeding facility.