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  • "Who farted?"
  • Lloyd playing Foosball
    • Lloyd is pretty much a walking C Mo F.
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Lloyd: Actually, cancer is a disease. You have a psychosexual disorder that manifests itself in deviant behaviour, so in short, you are... disgusting.

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  • When Lloyd and Charlie have to share a hotel room. With only one good bed. And Lloyd likes to sleep au naturale
  • Ray using Xavier Price to break his fall when he jumps out the window.
  • Lloyd versus the prison psychiatrist:
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Lloyd: Who I am? I'm a graduate of Harvard University, and Harvard Med Class of 1993. Where did you matriculate?
Shrink: The University of Illinois.
Lloyd: Hmm. State school.

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  • Lloyd's objections to Ray's hostage plan:
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Lloyd: What about HIS gun, Ray? His gun wasn't unloaded!
Ray: (pause) That's a fair criticism.

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  • From the Season two Preview:
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Shea: (watching Ray and Charlie have an arguement in Charlie's office): Somethin's goin' down.
Lloyd: Oh, I can translate that. (bad Italian accent; as Ray holds out his hands to each side) I once-a ate a canoli this-a big-a!
Erica: (as Charlie points to himself and then Ray): Do you know how handsome I am? I am very handsome. You? Not so much.

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  • From the second season premiere:
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Lloyd: Where did you get the vanilla body lotion?
Erica: I don’t have vanilla body lotion.
Lloyd: My God, that is your natural scent. Woman, you smell like cake.
 

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