Note: For WMGs related to the Toonami and Adult Swim blocks, see Toonami/WMG and Adult Swim/WMG
Total Drama Island and 6teen led to Cartoon Network's downfall.[]
This is not TDI/6teen bashing. Here, look at it this way:
- TDI is So Cool Its Awesome in Canada
- CN gets it to get better ratings.
- CN gets another show made by the same people.
- 'Hm... shows about teens are so popular', and one is a reality show...
- CN real
- Cartoon Network dies.
Now, don't blame 6teen or TDI. Cartoon Network is the one to blame for making a stupid assumption. Worse, nobody can do a thing about it. If fans boycott, CN will think it's because they want new shows.
- 6Teen and TDI were produced while CN was developing the shows of CN Real. Skirtin a narrow line with this Guess.
Canada is linked to Cartoon Network's epic suicide[]
CN has brought 3 1/3 Canadian cartoons into America. Within a few years of their arrival, everybody's yelling Ruined FOREVER from the rooftops. Coincidence?
Also, a new CN Real show is coming to Cartoon Network this year. Guess where it's being made?
- It has to be said: BLAME CANADA! BLAME CANADA!
- Don't Blame Canada! Blame Adobe Flash!
It's all the fault of Dee Dee from Dexter's Laboratory.[]
Cartoon Network is becoming worse because Dee Dee became aware of our reality, came here, and pressed all the wrong buttons at once, deleting, shredding and burning all the good contracts CN had to continue the good shows. Then she couldn't return home. She is currently disguised as an adult working for FOX News.
Bill O'Reilly: Greta Van Susteren, get out of my laboratory! |
Scrappy was behind all this.[]
Paradox is responsible for screwing up Cartoon Network.[]
He got tired of the vistas of his own reality (he is immortal, so he's got plenty of time) and decided to start visiting ours. Unfortunately, he caused a screw-up in the process.
Haruhi is the real head of CN.[]
Ever notice how all but one of the CN Real shows are devoted to myths?
- Must... kill... schoolgirl...
stuart snyder is the ultimate troll[]
he puts live action on a network clearly dedicated to cartoons, and puts new crap on whenever fans want something cancelled instead.
PROBLEM, TURNER BROADCASTING?
Stuart Snyder is Bizarro.[]
Putting live-action on Cartoon Network and alienating most of his demographic? Yeah, sounds like the decisions of Bizarro. Somebody call Supes!
"ME NO AM SNYDER!!! CARTOONS ON LIVE-ACTION NETWORK MAKE HUGE FAILURE!!! ME MAKE EVERYTHING WORSE!!! ME NO AM GENIUS!!!" |
Stuart Snyder is Judge Doom[]
First you take down Cartoon Network, then you take down Toon Town. Besides, only a Toon would come up with a plan that crazy.
"You lack vision, but I see a place where tweens can watch reality TV focused on them. On and off, off and on all day, all night. Soon, where Toon Town once stood will be a string of Flash animated Canadian imports and ripoffs of reality TV. Clones of Survivor, Mythbusters and Ghost Hunters reaching as far as the eye can see. My God, it'll be beautiful." |
Stuart Snyder is an Eldritch Abomination sent from the gates of Hell to destroy the existence of cartoons[]
Duh.
CN Real is just a Xanatos Gambit to ensure the future success of animation.[]
It's like New Coke. Eventually, CN will automatically revert to an all-cartoon format and gain a major increase of viewers sick of the live-action.
This plan is also being used by Disney and Nickelodeon.
- Kinda like New Coke.
The cartoon messiah will be an Animated Adaptation of The Order of the Stick[]
It will be a demographic-busting show like Avatar: The Last Airbender. It has adult jokes, Thick Line Animation that would fit the Signature Style of CN's original productions, a premise that attracts nerds, but an artstyle that attracts children.
- Eww, no, Walls of Text, glib one-liners and lazy art would fuck Cartoon Network over forever.
- Yes, yes, a thousand times YES
- Made Of Win
- And the producer shall be Genndy Tartakovsky, and the co-writer shall be Joss Whedon
- Dude, I swear to God, you just gave me a heart attack the first time I read that. And with the latest rash of shows aimed at the preteen to teen demographic, this might actually happen.
Cartoon Network's shows (or at least the ones featured in the continuity links that had the characters meeting up with one another) are set in the same reality[]
Remember the continuity links where various characters from different shows would meet up with each other and do stuff? The reason they could meet up is because their shows are set in the same worlds.
CN Real's reality show isn't named Destroy Build Destroy - it's Destroy Bill, Destroy![]
Now with that in mind, what could that mysterious message mean? Is the host using superliminal advertising to control children and have them hunt down Bill, a former Cartoon Network employee who knows too much? Or is "Bill" the name of a genetically engineered living weapon, and the host is ordering Bill to destroy us all (destroy us all! destroy us all! destroy us all!)? By the time we realize the truth, it may be too late...
Decade did it.[]
The Network Decay, He did it.
- Well, his name does have that nice double-meaning, happening to also be Decayed.
- Funny (or not funny?), Kamen Rider is showing in CN Latin America.
Cartoon Network bringing back Looney Tunes is a bizarre byproduct of their decay, not a sign of hope.[]
They brought it back to draw attention away from the fact that they've lost their original focus, probably due to the criticism it is receiving for CN Real. Will it last? Better dust off your VCRs and start recording these cartoons while they're still airing.
- Sadly, looks like you're right.
- They're back...
Cartoon Network's downfall had something to do with the old Tom leaving.[]
Why did you have to take the awesome, Badass-looking, faceless Tom and replace him with the stupid-faced one? Why??????????"
- Bang.
- Building off that, maybe the "Bang" was a metaphorical gun aimed straight at Cartoon Network.
The new Scooby-Doo show will bomb[]
And yet this still isn't going to convince executives that Scooby Doo is outdated in any way and they'll still think kids are just dying for an updated version.
- It'd be nice if every updated version wasn't full of self-parody.
- Hey, not all of them are, some are In Name Only. And let's face it, aside from maybe recycling scripts, it's impossible to make a Scooby-Doo show that isn't self-parody. Maybe they should bring back guest stars.
- Jossed. It's been doing great in ratings and it's being called the best Scooby series ever.
The higher-ups of CN are in fact in a cartoon[]
Every episode, one of them tries to change the network because he thinks it will increase ratings. It fails spectacularly every episode, only to try again in the next one.
- So... their show is actually in real life, which means it bombs, but it continues because they try harder... but all of their FURTHER attempts to revive the network get canceled, so they die, but they still try--*explode*.
The Marvelous Misadventures of Flapjack, Regular Show, and Adventure Time take place on the same world, just different time periods[]
Similar to the above, I didn't know where it would go, so I put it here. Flapjack is set in the eighteen-ninteen hundreds equivelent, Regular Show is set in the equivelent of modern times,the talking sea animals carrying over to land, and Adventure Time is the post-Apocolypes of the world.
- Maybe the various Dc-shows take place during the apocalypse (very dark), and Ed Edd and Eddy is acient Greece-era (no talking animals)?
- Along with this, Chowder is the eventual rebuild of the world, with it's colorful cast and lack of humans a result of the world warping because of the magical distruction of the world. The weaker creatures, like talking food, eventualy where wiped out, while living objects and animalfolk became the norm.
The Amazing World Of Gumball is the eventual rebuild of said rebuild, with little sign that the world used to have humans and such walking around. Living food and other such creatures can now survive in a relitivly tamed world strangly looking like what came before. Of course, the world never actualy stopped decaying from the magical onslaught, so now creatures exist in many strange forms, from live-action to paper cutouts. Oh, and Chowders and co's species eventualy went thru the trials of time to be pure bunnyfolk and catish people, respectivly. Strangly, talking balloons extist in the latter three shows, which points to this sort of connection.
Cartoon Network is a Parallel Dimension. The Cartoon Network we have, is just another TV Channel, going into the Dork Ages. In their world, such as "Who Framed Roger Rabbit", Cartoon Network is a micronation under Civil War as of now.[]
This plane of existence we live in, is the true reality. However, our actions and events, cause other dimensions to reflect what we do, making "fictional" dimensions. And one tale, a classic tale of a Utopia, falling into disarray and alarm. This rich, diverse history, is what was known as "Cartoon Network".
Sometime after the events of Who Framed Roger Rabbit?, Toon Town soon fell into disarray. Cartoon Companies, became suspicious of each other, thinking the other would blot them out and take Toon Town for themselves. During the Cold War of Toon Town, The Houses of Disney, Maroon Cartoon Studios, Warner Brothers, MGM, and newcomers of Hanna-Barbera, were at the seams of splitting up. One day, a fight broke out, with every faction going all out on each other, and the local police, trying to break it up. The Conflict lasted for months, destroying nearby buildings and studios, until the apparent victor was Disney. The U.S. Government intervened, and allowed the senate to decide Toon Town's fate. Disney and Maroon Cartoons' Toons were allowed to stay, but the other factions must leave forever.
During the Exodus, these Animated Factions went their own ways, getting paid and going to their respective homes and studios. However, during the course of the next 30 years, the Cartoon Industry and population started to boom. And during this time, the Three Exiled Factions, WB, MGM, and Hanna-Barbera formed a secret network. They hoped to resolve all conflicts between their companies, and live in peace like they did in Toon Town. The called themselves: "The Cartoon Network." Rumors of their existence, sparingly spread among the crowd, and became an urban legend.
Tired of secrecy, one of the well-known members of the Cartoon Network, Bugs Bunny, proposed that they create a land for themselves, a new studio, a new town, and a new life. An almost unanimous vote was decided in 1987, supporting his idea. In 1990, they announced themselves officially as "The Cartoon Network, inc." The following year, they proposed a bill that they should be recognized as a nation, and be granted land. President Bill Clinton had no such problem, and signed the bill, making "The Cartoon Network" one of the newest nations in the world, the only one populated of cartoons.
In the following months, development in South West California started to happen. The Cities of Townsville, Endsville, Peach Creek, and a few other towns were created. The Capital, CN City, was built as the hub for entertainment, cartoon politics, and tourism. Finally, on October 1, 1992, The Nation of Cartoon Network became open to the public.
Years passed, and a flood of cartoons entered Cartoon Network. Clay People, Puppet Men, CGI-lings, all animated ilk, settled down in CN. In 1997, Toon immigrants from Japan, the Animane became the fastest growing population in CN. The phenomenon was known as "The Toonami". This special race of Toon, was represented by Robot Ambassador, TOM. An agreement between the Animane, and The Nation of Cartoon Network, the Animane were given special priveleges concerning territory and air time on the Cartoon Network Channel.
In Toon Town, the tunnel leading to it, was lost, and the dimension was lost to all people. However, Disney created more cartoons to hide the fact that they lost the originals somehow. It remains an Enigma on why Toon Town disappeared.
During the course before the 2000's, Toons lived in peace, much akin to what was Toon Town. Here, Cartoons would appear and retire here. The world media called The Cartoon Network, Toon Town's Spiritual Successor. Humans were allowed to live in CN, but were not allowed to have shows. Meanwhile, there were "other friends" who wanted this land for themselves, having their own evil ideas and intentions. Humans, Canaidian Animation Studios, and other Toons wanted that land to be theirs, envious of their success. In 1999, Canadian expatriates, The House of Antonucci, immigrated to CN, and got their own show. The three most famous of them became known as Ed, Edd 'n' Eddy. They however, were unaware of Canada's planned invasion, that would come years later.
The same year, the Eds unwittingly find a secret unnused entrance to Toon Town, they lose its location. Their story is adapted in the episode: "One + One = Ed".
In the late 1990's the Hanna-Barberrans, MGM, and WB toons considered expansion. On April 1, 2000, Bugs Bunny announced that he, and several cartoons, would depart for a territory where they could rest, free from present cares. Dexter, boy genius, built a pocket-dimension, located in the City of Sherman, and the old Toons were sent there. CN created a subsidiary channel, known as Boomerang, showing re-runs of the original CN factions. New leadership, in CN, was determined by who would host Friday nights that night. It frequently alternated between leaders every week, and this soon became law.
In 2001, Samurai Jack, appeared on the scene. What he believed was a portal to his own time, was actually an experimental rift that Dexter was created. Originally, Deter was trying to find the tunnel to Toon Town again, he was instead, given Samurai Jack. The denizens of CN were puzzled, and perplexed about who he was. His history, was kept secret, and given cover as the Cartoon: Samurai Jack. Samurai Jack, was then adopted into the "Tartakovsky House". Animated Actor in their universe, a Samurai in his own, Jack treated CN as a sanctuary and resting place. Building a large fan-base, given a high-budget, his show became the most famous out of all of CN's line-up. Given a Dimension Travelling Device in his slippers, he would traverse from his Universe, to CN's universe, acting/resting in one, then fighting his way back home in another. In the meantime, Dexter tries his hardest to find a way to travel back to the past, hoping to help his friend Jack out one day.
In September 2, 2001, laws concerning the late night hours were loosened after several adult-oriented cartoons protested for rights. This led to several controversies, including Garfield's sex-scandal, creating his CGI-son, CGI-Garfield. CGI Garfield was despised for his existence by everyone, and ran away from CN. He would mature, and return to CN in 2009. Crimes and the late-night laws also forced The Justice League to take up a Forward Operating Outpost in that region, if they were called to help out fight crime.
In 2003, a detachment of Clone Troopers, set up an Outpost in CN, trying to detect any Separatist activites. They make special relationships with the house of Tartakovsky. In that same year, laws changed. The old leadership system caused turmoil in the micro-nation, causing it to become gimmicky and ineffective. So, they gave leadership to The Mayor of Townsville. Consequently, Friday nights were given a face-lift. Humans, had a change in roles now. They were given the right to star as hosts, but not in an actual show.
In 2004, Samurai Jack, one of CN's biggest stars, went missing. After several weeks, his show was cancelled, only showing re-runs and the episodes the Studio could film. This disappearance caused fear and panic to happen in CN, but, the Government and studio must go on. To compensate, they addded Adverts of tourism they filmed before Jack disappeared.
2005, The Clone Wars ends, and the Clone Troopers depart later in the year. Canadian immigrant, Atomic Betty, arrived in CN. Little did anyone know, she was a spy for the Canadian Empire of Animation, an illusive corporation of Canadian Toons wanting to take the country of CN. For about a year, she had her run on CN, and went back to Canada. Then, she divulged her information, containing CN's weakpoints, points of interests, and other points of tactical data.
The year of 2007 was the fulcrum, of CN's history. After several trials and errors, a human boy named Jimmy, got his own movie and show on CN through a loophole in their constitution. However, this started a debacle in CN's capital, wondering how this happened, and divided CN, into factions, mimicking their predcessors in Toon Town years ago. Stuart Snyder, a prominent executive representing the humans, slowly put himself into power. Soon, in 2008, Jimmy's show, Out of Jimmy's Head, received very poor ratings got cancelled, and subsequently was exiled from the land of CN. Unbeknowest to them, Jimmy, was the vanguard of an impending invasion, foreshadowed in CN's "Invasion" saga in our world.
In July 2008, The Noods, were spawned from the minds at a toy company called Munny. The Noods were comissioned by Stuart Snyder, a now powerful executve of CN, to serve as idiotic, stupid, and rather manipulatable servants. To the Toons surprise, they were found to be a very amusing source of slapstick, and used them in their bumpers.
Fearing that an impending doom was coming upon them, the Animane were besides themselves. TOM, the Robot ambassador to the Animane, had their rights disavowed by Snyder whom declared that he and his kind were going to depart from CN, and return to Japan. September 20, 2008, "The Day of Tears", after 11 long years of occupation, the Animane finally left CN. This left CN, splintered, broken, and battered, leaving an attack imminent. Turning to Canada, the Toons asked for their shows to fill the gap Animane left behind.
Meanwhile in Canada, scientists get to work on reproducing "The Dip" based on blueprints left behind by Judge Doom. The Canadian Animation Empire, contacted Stuart, and agreed to join in on their venture to take CN.
In early 2009, Snyder closed down several establishments and got rid of many shows. He even closed down an adoption center for Imaginary Friends. And That's Terrible.
In June 2009, the dreaded "Invasion of CN" had begun. 6:00 AM Eastern Time, an allied army of Humans, Canadian Toons, and CGI-lings marched on to the Capital of CN. The Commanders, that CN was already weak, and vulnerable, and destroyed many key buildings and landmarks, killing many Toons in the process. The Noods, armed with Dip-Throwers, turned on their masters and routed the Toon population. Those who opposed the attack, were either destroyed by the dip, or enslaved by the Canadian Empire. Others, joined the new form of government, betraying their counrty. With no opposition against them, Stuart Snyder, became self-appointed ruler of Cartoon Network. The last of the "Cartoon Cartoons" were the Eds, untouched because of their Canadian origins.
During the reign of Stuart Snyder, an apartheid system of Humans and Toons were created, similar to that of The Disney Channel and Nickelodeon. The Humans, were to be the superior, better race, compared to the majority of Toons, were treated as infidels. Stuart then invented a line up of new shows, with actual Human people, and called the block: "CN Real". He planned to reinvent CN, despite angered pleas from the world. The original CN, HB, MGM, and WB Toons were sent to the "Boomerang World", to serve as technical operators and engineers. If they did not comply to work or objected, they would be executed by drowning via Dip, or spend life in permanent stasis, awake and alive, living a nightmare for the ends of their days. Day in and Day out, Toons would work and work, and slept. They would repeat this process all over again.
However, the Toons worked too hard for their world to be taken away like that. So, a small group of Guerilla Fighters, banded together and went back to CN. The Ed's, were contacted by The CN Underground Movement (CNUM) , who kept tabs on the new CN govenment. When the Ed's lease expired in November 2009, they decided to stand up for themselves, and fight for what the land they loved. Soon, the Civil War for Cartoon Network began.
Meanwhile, Dexter and Blossom, tired of oppression in the Boomerang World, make their own world in secret. The two created their own pocket dimension, and ran away, leaving no way or trace to follow them. In their world, the two became their own Adam and Eve, and created a Utopian society. Epochs later, the Galalunian Empire would be born.
Throughout 2010, CN was attacked continously during the year. The CN Underground movement supplied and organized attacks on CN's studios and businesses. During the new era, several immigrant Toons either fought with, or against each other frequently. Some of the new Toons, acted as covert agents for the CNU Movement such as: Finn and Jake, and the Mystery Incorporated Gang.
September 2010, a strange new Robot comes into town. When the Genral Modula and the Mutraddi invade Galaluna, the characters of Sym-Bionic Titan appear on the scene. Intrigued by them, the movement took them in, and tested their company's origin. To their surprise, they have descended from the House of Tartakovsky, and they are consripted by the CNU Movement almost immediately. They posed as new Animated Actors for Sym-Bionic Titan, and acted as one of CNU's most trusted spies.
The next month, the Myserty Incorporated Gang find out where Samurai Jack is being kept, but enigmatically disappear on the 25th of October. The characters of Adventure Time, knowing better, decide not to fall into the same pitfall as the Mystery Gang.
April 2011, Sym-Bionic Titan's identity as covert spies has been found out, but is kept hidden from the public. Stuart Snyder hires a trio of mercenaries for hire, known as "The Problem Solverz" to take down Titan, and in exchange, give them a slot on the CN Channel. On the 9th of April, a battle took place in CN City, in a fight between Sym Bionic Titan and the CNUM, versus the CN government and The Problem Solverz. Ultimately, Sym-Bionic Titan is defeated, and CN Reigns supreme, leaving a deep wrinkle in the CNU Movement's plans, retreating in defeat.
As of now, CN and The CNUM are in constant war. Many Toons have been destoryed, careers taken, and friends lost. It is rumored, in May 2011, The Looney Tunes is returning to CN as neutral.
This war, this conflict, will not end, until the day when the remnants of Stuart's reign leaves CN, and the day Samurai Jack returns or another hero to finish off evil, and the Toons are restored in the natural order. Until then, the Civil War of Cartoon Network rages on. Or, at least we can do something about it.
- That is probably the most logical explanation for Cartoon Network's decline I have ever read. Kudos.
- Thing is they'd need to invent a new type of Dip that would work on flash animated Toons not made of ink and paint.
- A new chapter was recently discovered in the records of this WMG. It also mentions that in the course of the war, many of the humans were killed, and their shows cancelled. Toons are making a comeback, and Snyder is losing his hold on the CN. The underground movement may not be underground much longer.
- ... Were you on something when you wrote this?
- Actually, even though I posted for it, I can't help but wonder it as well...
- Small nitpick: The company that CN collaborated with was Kidrobot, not Muny. The Munys are their most well known product.[1]
- This may be the single greatest WMG on this entire website. Bravo, sir. As of now, the CNUM appears to be ever-so-slowly overthrowing Snyder's reign, although recently more humans have arrived in the form of Level Up, and Canadians have still been pouring forth, such as the Almost Naked Animals and the sidekicks. Time shall tell...
- And now, apparantly, CNUM has gained even more ground with the airing of Cartoon Planet, with DEXTER returning from his new demension to help take Cartoon Network back. The house for imaginary friends was also rebuilt, albeit temporarily.
- Also, the Animane somehow got caught in a temporal shift and were aired as an April Fools joke.
- Which, due to excellent ratings, caused them to truly come back and be put on the air permanatly. CNUM has gained more ground with this, even if the Animane are being broadcast late at night.
The Hoverboard won't come in 2015, rather it be by 2025[]
Now, before I like to begin, the title for this sounds like it belongs in the Back to the Future WMG, but just read this little thought and you'll see what I mean.
OOO
Like some of the Guesses above, this one deals with a timeline, but this explores more of the shows. Now to start way in the past, (estimating 1100s-1400s), the famous samurai we know as Jack and the shape-shifting master of darkness Aku came into the universe. It was some time that the two will eventually clash and Aku sent the samurai into the future, which will allow Aku to take over the world and set the stage for the main plot of Samurai Jack. However, what about the other shows existing if Aku is control of the world? (Please note I'm exlcuding Snyder from this)
Jump cut to the Victorian, or should we say Neo-Victorian, age of the 1800s and where the world was being explored for the mythical Candied Island. This is also the time where a budding adventurer Flapjack sail the oceans with his adopted mother and Captain K'nuckles in search of this island. However, they were eventually thrown out of their home they call Stormalong Harbor and were forced to sail the seas for possibly eternity.
Flash forward by a couple of decades to the 1920s and we now see the start of we call the Golden Age of Cartoons, which brought us the House of Mouse, Warner Bros. shorts and other studios. Eventually these studios would be competitng against each other before settling in Toon Town (read the above Guess about the Civil War), and in the 1940s we got that one small incident involving Roger Rabbit and all of Toon Town, where Judge Doom planned upon bringing the end of a revolution. Gladly, the Toons are safe and continue on to live another day.
Now jump up to 1990s-2010s, where we see more of a modern setting for the cartoons. Obviously there have been several new shows that have been entertaining people during the years, with some being good and others bad, but the focus here is about time. Before this period, we got a certain explosion that created the man we know as Professor Paradox and he started his life as a time-travelling explorer, walking to different times and alternative realities to see if he can get them on the right track without intervening too much or starting another reality by mistake. And now our attention shifts over to a show in the 2000 era...
To be precise, this show does have some connections to the future of 2025, where one Ben Tennyson and his cousin visited briefly to meet Ben's older counterpart, where it was seen that there are hoverboards a plenty... but it was hard to tell if they were made by Mattell. Besides from that, this is where we get an connection. Ben and Gwen are ten years old when the original series was on, meaning it was about 2004 when the show came on. Then jump five years later and we have the two at age 15. One year later we have Ultimate Alien, which the heros are one year older. Now, if 2010 is the show's current year and if we don't see the hoverboard by 2015, then there is a chance of the hoverboard being made a year after and we will see more of what the future will look like in 2025 (at this time, Ben will be 31 meaning he must have met his wife and had Ken when he was 21)
And now to go back to the Aku problem. At this point, if Aku were to get his way, these shows should or should not be in existence. If this is true, then Jack defeated Aku in the future and got a portal to go back in time (whether or not this portal was created by Paradox or Aku or another source) and defeated Aku in the past that will set the course for these shows to exist. If this were to be true, the future that was ruled by Aku will eventually lead to World War III (or the Great Mushroom War) that will eventually have a giant meteor ripped a chunk of the earth out and get us the Land of Ooo and its crapsack world.
OOO
OK, I know this isn't the perfect guess, but it's what I got at the moment. Of course I am taking some shots in the dark about certain events (I don't know if the Samurai Jack will give a true ending to the series), but I think I did hit some right on the head, even if some of the events have been mentioned elsewhere. Then again, I am using this Guess of mine for a fan-fiction I am working on (with the main focus being on the Samurai Jack parts), so I figure I may want to share this here before I post this elsewhere.
Cartoon Network has turned into a perfect, unwavering allegory for Dr. Seuss's The Lorax.[]
Read every single bit of this and you'll discover striking similarities between the book and network:
There was once a lush forest of Truffula trees (Cartoon Network), adored by all the animals (old cartoons enjoyed by viewers, plus some creative minds), none more fond of it than the Lorax (Betty Cohen). However, a mysterious green (as in greedy) stranger named the Once-ler (Stuart Snyder) arrived one day, looking to take in the sights (enjoy the network's notoriety for himself): There are Bar-ba-Loots (resembling bears) that frolic about and eat fruit from the trees (anime-hungry viewers- the fruit is Toonami), Swomee Swans that fly through the air and sing as they go (the voices of creative staff at Cartoon Network), and Humming Fish that go swimming about in the ponds and humming as they swim (the animators themselves). However, the Once-ler only took interest to the Truffula trees (ignored everything about the network except its potential to make him powerful and esteemed). He immediately grew enamored by the forest and its Truffula trees, and decided to take a sample of the trees (examined how well it fared with kids) and learned he could use it to knit "Thneed", an odd-looking but versatile garment that he insists "everyone needs." (live action). He cut down a single tree to accomplish this task (created Out of Jimmy's Head and crippled a very tiny fraction of the channel), then set up shop (joined up with CN as president, after Samples had left).
From the stump of this fallen tree, the Lorax appeared and tried to protect these trees (Cohen), saying they could not speak for themselves (good ideas for genuine toons are voiceless thoughts until spoken by the creative staff):
I speak for the trees! Let 'em grow, let 'em grow! |
The Once-ler ignored the warnings of the Lorax, and began chopping the trees down to power factories to make his "Thneed" (kept working toward live-action garbage and imported YTV 'toons).
The Once-ler's small shop soon grew into a factory (for live-action) with new workers (numbskulls who weren't the least bit interested in the network, but the money), family members (friends he made over the years, some also too foolish to care for CN) and new equipment (imported toons from elsewhere that would "enrich the channel") to speed up Thneed production (boost ratings) This selfishness by the uncaring Once-ler and factory workers (all the current, uneducated idiots at CN, drafted in with absolutely no knowledge of its past, who lack the heart of the original Cartoon Network), continuted cutting down trees to keep up with the demand for more Thneeds (ratings demands grew and grew, causing new crappy programs to appear). At first, the damage was minor (subtle changes to the network lineup), but it grew worse over the years, destroying the splendor of the forest and shrinking it more and more (Loss of Toonami, Sym-Bionic Titan, and any other good show cancelled mid-production).
With the trees fading away, the animals began to leave: the Bar-ba-Loots, who are now facing a terrible food shortage (anime-starved viewers after Toonami folded) and a disease called "the Crummies because of gas and no food in their tummies." (sickened by this new CN). At first, the Once-ler only showed a little remorse, but still focused on expanding his business. The Lorax had to guide them elsewhere to find food (other networks).
The Once-ler's Thneed-making business expanded tenfold and now used delivery trucks to take out the shipments (imported toons upon request). The Lorax eventually comes back complaining to the Once-ler that the factories are belching out so much "smogulous smoke" that it is giving the Swomee Swans sore throats, leaving them unable to sing. (The creative minds from the nineties and anyone new who has been censored, unable to voice themselves through the poison of live-action, and any open slot for new ideas is quickly accounted for by imported toons, leeching off others instead of listening to the staff to make things go more smoothy at the expense of the channel's reputation). Once again, the Lorax must intervene and take them elsewhere (direct them to new possibilities).
Not a moment after the Lorax sends them away, he returns complain to the Once-ler about his machinery making a goo by-product called "Gluppity Glup" and "Shloppity Shlop," and how it's being dumped into the ponds where the Humming Fish live (this live-action, import programming methodicism is drowning the animators), leaving them unable to hum (voice their ideas as well), and forces the Lorax to send them away too (Ex: Lauren Faust, her husband Craig McCracken, and Genndy Tartakovsky. Faust left when Snyder claimed her ideas were nonsense compared to his, and nobody wanted to watch them. Mc Cracken followed suit to support his wife. Tartakovsky left after Sym-Bionic Titan got the boot for lack of a toy deal, which Snyder considered essential, similar to the Once-ler's obsession for Thneed).
OMINOUS PREDICTION: Finally, it was too late- all the trees were cut down. Without them, the animals had all disappeared (no more viewers, no creative staff, and no animators- absolutely no one wants anything to do with him anymore). The factories and business ventures were forced to shut down with no more trees left to make Thneed (total disappearance of the old Cartoon Network in every possible way), and the workers all quit (either the network will run out of imports, the ratings will tank too far, or someone will accuse Snyder of criminal activity behind closed doors, presumably censorship). The very last Trufulla tree fell (whoever goes away last: the final viewer, or final staff member), and the forest was no more (Death of CN). The Once-ler's family departed (friends departed one by one, leaving Snyder all alone), leaving the Once-ler alone with the Lorax, who, looking back at the Once-ler, sadly, picks himself up by the "seat of his pants" and floats away through a hole in the smog, leaving behind only a small pile of rocks with the word "UNLESS" inscribed into them. (Cohen gives up on CN, then leaves her ruined dreams behind in hopes she can build better ones. The rocks represent the possibility someone else will discover what once was, and somehow re-create the network anew).
Left grasping a pile of crumbling factories (every single live-action program he made gets cancelled with extreme prejudice), the Once-ler (Snyder) lived his life in secluded shame. He tried to comprehend the meaning of this final message, but to no avail. After many years went by, he finally learned his lesson, though he knew he would never be able to fix the damage he had caused, as he had grown old, weak, and a pariah to the world around him (all who left CN as it fell apart). Suddenly, a boy discovered him wallowed in his broken home (a nameless, aspiring young animator or TV network mogul), and the Once-ler bestowed him with the last seed to grow new trees (Snyder will keep a piece of the old CN to remind him of what could've been when he accepts his failure).
Good Ending: The seed will be planted, and the Once-ler will die quietly at the sight of one final tree, putting him at peace.
Bad Ending: The tree does not grow, or something happens to kill it, in which case: GAME OVER.
...Scary as hell how relevant the story becomes, isn't it?
- Supporting this is the rush of animated/live action "Flicks" and the rush of "Cartoon Network Originals". Snyder is trying to bring life back to the network and in turn bring viewership back on his own.
All the shows in Cartoon Network occur in one single universe.[]
The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy/Codename: Kids Next Door hinted at this with the cameo of The Powerpuff Girls and Ed Edd and Eddy. Plus it would be awesome. Oh, and the exception would be anything connected to Warner Brothers, since Looney Tunes would be stretching it too much.
- I Am Weasel, Samurai Jack all take after the Great Mushroom War. This may explain the prescence of anthropomorphic animals, and Mom and Dad: they're humans hideously mutated by the War, making them undead torsos. Samurai Jack takes place shortly after, where Aku used the power vaccuum to take over. The Jetsons may explain where Finn came from. Other possible shows at this time include Courage the Cowardly Dog(it's in a War-related zone).
To celebrate the 20th anniversary of Cartoon Network, there will be a Massive Multiplayer Crossover / Crisis Crossover[]
- ↑ And don't blame Canada on everything. I happened to enjoy a few of their shows. :-(