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"Oh, thank you, great-king-with-balls-of-fire, king-whose-great-rod-my-mouth-yearns-for."
"Go on, silver bitch. You may not yet stuff your mouth with my wondrous rod."

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Infamous Lord of the Rings fanfic that it is widely regarded as one of the worst fanfics ever written, to the point of Memetic Mutation. Celebrían, here spelled sans accent, is a briefly mentioned tertiary character in The Lord of the Rings (she's actually Elrond's wife in canon but she doesn't get any development) who gets kidnapped by orcs and is subjected to several forms of rape, Body Horror, and other Squick for over 21,000 words. It is widely regarded as really bad, but there are still others that find it comedic for the extensive lengths it goes off the deep end, along with the sheer ridiculousness of the dialogue and prose. Either way, reading it is regarded as something of an endurance test - finish reading "Celebrian", and you can read just about anything.

Several complaints are not that it is BAD, but that it is DULL;

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"When I'd finally psyched myself up to read it, I could hardly get past the first page, not because I was so disgusted, but because it was so inordinately DULL. How is it possible to make so much porn so freaking BORING?"

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It can be found here, if you dare. You'll probably also need some Brain Bleach. Needless to say, it's NSFW.

Some brave soul decided to do Celebrian's first dramatic reading. Here's the Intro. Needless to say, they start going quite insane by the second part. And the fifth. And the sixth, where the reader becomes drugged on NyQuil.

Tropes used in Celebrian include:
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"No, bitch. You know the rules. Name thyself."
She stared at the cruel king. Then slowly and deliberately, she named herself.
"Cock-sucker. Ball-licker. Cum-drinker. Cock-lover. King's-sheath. Dick-sucker."

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