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Clone-high
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JFK: I'm a Kennedy. I'm not accustomed to tragedy!

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Gandhi: If there's one thing Mahatma Gandhi stands for, it's revenge!

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Clone High (original run: 2002-2003) is an animated show parodying the Teen Drama, especially the Very Special Episode.

The plot is pretty straightforward, being outlined at the beginning of every episode by the Expository Theme Tune. Way, way back in the 1980s, secret government employees dug up famous guys and ladies and made amusing genetic copies. Now the clones are sexy teens, now. They're gonna make it if they try. Loving, learning, sharing, judging. Time to laugh and shiver and cry. A time to watch Clone High.

A Myth Arc is implied, wherein the Secret Board of Shadowy Figures that created the clones check up on the progress toward conditioning them into a super-strong and super-intelligent army. However, little progress is ever made in that, or in Principal Scudworth's plan of creating a clone-based amusement park called "Cloney Island", as the series was canceled in the US after less than a season. The rest of the season aired in Canada (home of the series' lead animation studio), and the out-of-print DVD was only released in the Canadian market.

The 2020s would bring in two additional seasons headed by the original writers, including several new clone characters.

The large list of historical figure clones includes:

Afterschool Charisma is a story with a similar concept, but with less emphasis on comedy and more emphasis on how clones are viewed by normal people.

A lot of the humor comes from off-hand or irreverent historical references (like the scene where the clone of Buddy Holly invites Abe to ride on a broken-down plane along with Richie Valens, The Big Bopper, Jim Croce, and half of Lynyrd Skynyrd... all of whom had their real life counterparts die in plane crashes).

...Wesley.


As a show with a premise based on parody, it mocks quite a few tropes:
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Abe: Hm. I don't really feel anything... Well, I have a strong constitution, so I don't reallyI CAN TASTE THE SUN!!!

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  • All Guys Want Cheerleaders: Abe shows interest in only one girl in the first season: Cleo, only Cleo. Cleo Cleo Cleo Cleo Cleo.
    • AAAAeeeeeAAAAAeeeeAAAAeeaabe!
  • All Love Is Unrequited: Especially in the first season finale. Only Gandhi and Marie Curie get a stable conclusion to their relationship..... until neither of them are brought back 20 years later.
  • And Another Thing: JFK in the pilot, as a variant on his trademark explaining the joke
  • Animal Athlete Loophole: Lincoln directs a film called It Takes a Hero, based on the fact that "There's no rule that says a giraffe can't play football."
    • Inverted for the purpose of a You Go, Girl! moment by Clone High's actual sports team, which explicitly prohibits "girls and animals" from playing on the team (considering it's supposed to be boys' basketball). A lot of those players have fine moustaches...
  • Are You Pondering What I'm Pondering?: JFK does the 1-person variant a lot
    • The penultimate episode has this right before its many makeover montages.
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Cleo: Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Joan (tired) / Cleo (excited): Suicide! / Makeover!

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    • Also Mr. Butlertron has been programmed to be pondering what Scudworth is pondering.
  • Attention Deficit Ooh Shiny: Gandhi, whose ADD is played for laughs.
    • And Tom Green
  • Attack of the Political Ad: When Abe and JFK are running for student body president, JFK puts out an attack ad against Abe. First the ad claims Abe is a liar because his answer to what his age is was different to what it was a year before and then footage of Abe eating spaghetti is very poorly edited to make it look like he's eating a baby.
  • Bare Your Midriff: Joan of Arc. Even in the winter.
  • Be a Whore to Get Your Man: Mocked in the finale, along with Unnecessary Makeover
  • Beautiful All Along: Joan's already easy on the eyes, but her makeover finally makes Abe fall for her.
  • Beta Couple: Gandhi and Marie Curie near the end of the show.
  • Betty and Veronica: Joan (Betty) and Cleo (Veronica) for Abe (Archie), in one of the most obvious and evident parodies of this classic love triangle.
  • Bittersweet Ending: Abe and Joan confess their love the minute they get frozen along with everyone else. But then Skudsworth does include the board of shadow figures who were going to use them as super soligers.
  • Bland-Name Product (possibly Mr. Alt Disney): The "Unspecified Rodent-Themed Amusement Park", where Abe goes to visit the animatronic Lincoln in order to gain some advice.
  • Blind Seer: Parodied with Toots, who thinks he's perceptive and insightful despite his blindness.
    • Sometimes he shows surprisingly clear insight, but most of the time he stumbles around like Mr. Magoo.
  • Bolivian Army Ending: The (more or less, see Cut Short) resolution of the series Love Triangle, with Abe realizing he has feelings for Joan (and the other way around) only to discover she and JFK in bed together, just as the freezer is turned on.
  • Bow Chicka Wow Wow: One "On the Next..." clip showed Joan and Cleo fighting and the narrator saying this.
  • Bread, Eggs, Breaded Eggs: Abe passes by a store selling stoves, pipes, and stovepipe hats famously worn by the real Abraham Lincoln.
  • Breaking the Fourth Wall: The Narrator enjoys doing this a lot.
  • Bus Full of Innocents Bus Full of Pandas
  • But He Sounds Handsome: "John D'Arc", to Abe:
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Forget Cleo! She's a skanky ho. You should date... Joan of Arc!

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Scudworth: By the way... How is Brian?
Colonel Principal: Delicious!

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  • Deadpan Snarker: Joan, as per the Goth stereotype.
  • Department of Redundancy Department: Larry Hardcore - "I was into everything: weed, grass, ganja, reefer, marijuana, mary jane, I did it all. I even smoked pot once."
    • Also, the full name of the school is "Clone High High School".
  • Did Not Do the Research: Buddha (that is, Siddartha Gautama) is depicted as a jolly, fat, bald, Chinese-American kid, despite him having been a thin, hair-sporting Indian. Then again, many of the teens in-universe seem to base their understandings of their original figures on popular, erroneous perception.
    • We have no idea where Cleopatra is buried, so how did they get her DNA? Cue MST3K Mantra.
    • For that matter, what remained of Joan of Arc after the burning was thrown into the Seine River nearly 600 years ago. So that one is also impossible.
    • Also, the clones were all made in the 1980s (according to the theme), and were all presumably made from dead historical figures, since making them out of live figures would be pointless. At one point, Abe has a throwaway line about Mother Teresa's clone. Mother Teresa died in 1997. She was dead at the time the show was made, but not when the clones were supposed to have been made.
    • Same goes for the clones of Frank Sinatra and the rest of the Rat Pack who show up in one scene.
  • Don't Explain the Joke: JFK. Constantly.
    • And by "What I Mean", I mean SEXUAL REFERENCE!
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JFK: Hey, let's all go swimming... in my pool! And by pool, I mean bathtub... and by swimming, I mean SEX!

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    • Other characters are often guilty of this too.
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Cleo: Abe, it's sex o'clock. It may have sounded like I said the number six but instead I substituted the more suggestive word...sex!

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Cleo: This might be the beer talking--
Abe: Probably not.
Cleo: But I think you're hot.

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    • Also happens in the episode "Raisin the Stakes," which is about teens going wild and hippie after smoking... raisins.
  • Fat Idiot: Genghis Khan is morbidly obese and came out stupid. This is a pun on the term "mongoloid", which refers to both his clone father's heritage and idiocy.
  • Five-Man Band: For the main cast of the first season.
  • Flawed Prototype: Mr Sheepman.
  • Forgotten Fallen Friend: Ponce De Leon, who is never mentioned after his episode (or before for that matter).
  • Freeze-Frame Bonus:
    • Several in "Raisin the Stakes."
      • During the PTA scene when Scudworth gets up to talk to the parents, a blink-and-you-miss-it drawing of him surrounded by little hearts flashes onscreen with the words, "Scudworth is your favorite character!"
      • During the hippie song, after JFK sings "Sign my cast for me," the words "I BURIED PONCE" flash onscreen.
      • At the very end of the episode, the words "FOR MORE INFORMATION ABOUT RAISINS, VISIT YOUR LOCAL LIBRARY" appear.
    • In the season finale, when Abe enters the freezer to find Joan in bed with JFK. Just before Joan pulls the sheet up over her chest, "Nice try" can be seen written on her breasts, replacing any naughty bits.
  • Freud Was Right: Parodied in-universe when Sigmund Freud's clone is the only one who picks up on the subtext of Joan's film
  • Freudian Slip: Subverted Trope with Cleo's "sex o'clock", she points out that it was not a slip of "six o'clock", and that she really did mean to say "sex o'clock".
  • Girl-On-Girl Is Hot: Cleo's first reaction to finding out John was Joan was to gag at the thought that she was trying to make out with Joan, then she smirked and said "Hot."
  • Goofy Print Underwear Pink heart boxers are seen off of Gandhi in the pilot and on a cop during the parody of The Benny Hill Show.
  • Happily Adopted: All the clones have foster parents, and they're aware of it. Of course, sometimes it's questionable as to how happy they are.
    • Made funnier by the fact that Abe and his father address each other as "Foster Dad" and "Foster Son".
  • Hahvahd Yahd In My, er-uh, Cah: JFK, naturally.
  • High School AU: Played for laughs. While it's a high school story about clones of famous figures, half of the humor comes from the juxtaposition of the clones not acting like their clone-parents. Joan became a cynical goth, Abe is spineless and indecisive, Cleo ignores her clonemother's intelligence in favor of vapid teenage high school life, Gandhi cracked and became a nonstop party animal, and JFK takes on a vapid approach to his clonefather (being a horny popular jock rather than an influential leader in his school).
  • High School Sweethearts: Parodied
  • Historical Hilarity
    • What's that on the roof of The Grassy Knoll? Oh look, it's the reconstruction of John F. Kennedy's assassination.
      • Which seems to be a theme of the restaurant, considering what's inside. When Abe can't figure out what would stop him from wanting to be President, perfectly framed in the shot is a painting depicting a highly exaggerated version of Abraham Lincoln's assassination.
    • Before dying, Poncey discusses mortality with JFK, remarking that there is no real Fountain of Youth. The real Ponce de Leon was a Spanish explorer. Guess what he was searching for.
    • Cleopatra's oral fixation in the show mirrors the same some historians claim of her.
  • Hot Guys Are Bastards: Oh, JFK...
  • I Can't Believe It's Not Heroin!: Raisins
    • and even more ludicrous (if that's possible): Sleep deprivation
  • I Have No Son
    • Gandhi's stereotypically Jewish foster dad says this after Gandhi says he wants to be a trucker.
  • I Like My X Like I Like My Y: Gandhi likes his humping like he likes his martinis: dry
  • I'm Standing Right Here
  • Ink Suit Actor: The guest stars who don't play themselves usually wind up as this (such as Jack Black's character). Joan lampshades this with Mandy Moore's character by constantly asking her if she is really Mandy Moore, although it seems to be purposely inconsistent whether the character is supposed to be Mandy Moore having randomly become a hobo, or a hobo who just is identical to Mandy Moore.
    • The credits lampshade this, by giving Mandy Moore a special guest credit as "herself?"
  • Insignia Rip Off Ritual: With the insignia on Abe's basketball jacket
  • Ironic Echo: JFK during a road race against Abe. His convenient forgetfulness of his family's bad karma finally bites him.
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JFK: Nothing bad ever happens to the Kennedys!

  • his car crashes and he loses*
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Mr. Butlertron: What would the real Joan of Arc have done?
Joan: She would have listened to her heart. And then she would've gotten burned at the stake. [nervous laugh] But what are the odds of that happening again?
Mr. Butlertron: 38%.

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  • Local Hangout: The Grassy Knoll, a generic 50s diner where all the clones hang out between school.
  • Locked in a Freezer: With literally everyone who had appeared beforehand (except Scudworth and Butlertron) in the Season Finale. Although it's not quite an example of this trope...
  • Logic Bomb: Parodied and averted in one fell swoop by Mr. Butlertron on Scangrade
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Butlertron: Before you kill me, I have one request: can you answer a multiple choice question?
Scangrade: I'm Scangrade. I grade tests for a living. Ask me your question!
Butlertron: Are you a) handsome, b) smart, c) scrap metal, or d) all of the above?
Scangrade: That's easy. I'm a) and b), but not c), so I can't be d). You can't fill in two ovals! (explodes)
Butlertron: The answer was c). You f***wad.

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Mr. Sheepman: Your innocent whistling doesn't fool me. I'm 70 percent sure that farting noise came from you.

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JFK: [about a party] I'll see you there. And by will, I mean won't! HAHAHA!

  • leaves* *comes back*

JFK: Because you're not invited. I, er, uh, wasn't sure if I was clear about that earlier. So, you're not. Invited, that is.

  • leaves* *comes back*

JFK: TO MY PARTY!

  • leaves* *comes back*

JFK: Forgot to wash my hands...

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... WEEEEESSSLEEEEY .

  1. He says so with a plainly visible background painting of Abraham Lincoln being shot by John Wilkes Booth at the Ford's Theater.