Dad's Army/Funny

• The best one in "The Deadly Attachment".

"Your name will also go on the list. What is it?" "Don't tell him Pike!"

• Unfortunately, due to the BBC repeating the clip at every possible occasion, this has actually stopped being funny to long-time fans. Which is a shame, because objectively it is a very funny line.
  • During the same scene, where Jones collects an order for cod and chips (the captain wanted plaice) for German prisoners.
• Any time Jones utters the words 'Permission to speak sir' and goes into a long ramble, it qualifies for this category.
• During "Battle of the Giants":
  • Mainwaring's reactions to seeing Walker's medals: "This isn't a musical comedy, you know."
  • Sergeant Wilson shoving the Warden off a bridge with an accompanied cry of "Clear off!"
  • Pike, after driving a bayonet through Mainwaring's door and puncturing his hat, notices the hole and inquires "Was your head in it?"
  • Drunk Jones. That is all.
  • "Blimey, here we go round the Mulberry Bush!"
  • During the balloon initiative test, after Mainwaring shoots a balloon with his service revolver, Hodges and Frazer have this legendary exchange:

Hodges: Wait a minute! You're supposed to do that with your bayonet! Fraser: One more word out of you, and I'll do you with a bayonet.

• In the one where Mainwaring is marching the platoon along the watefront

Hodges: I wouldn't go too far that way Mr. Mainwaring there's a great big- (Mainwaring disapeares in a huge puddle)

• When actor James Beck was taken into hospital, Walker got a Written in Absence, leaving a note in his place on patrol to explain that he has gone to conduct "business" in London. A Crowning Moment of Funny ensues as Mainwaring reads out Walker's cockney slang in perfectly deadpan tones.
• In the episode "Boots, Boots, Boots", a shoes clerk mistakes Wilson and Pike for father and son. Wilson denies it, whilst doing a face-rubbing sort of gesture, whilst behind him, Pike is (inadvertently) doing the exact same thing in synchronization!
• "Howdy partner, put it there!" That is all.
  • When Walker offers for a banner with a friendly message for the Americans, Mainwaring's suggestion causes Walker to speculate that the banner would go 'twice around the bar, and halfway across the high street!'
    • He shaves down Mainwaring's suggestion to 'Yanks go home'.
  • The aftermath of the pub night with the Americans turns out to be a colossal bar brawl between the Home Guard and the Americans. Includes:
    • Pike blowing raspberries at the yank who stole his girl.
    • Frazer shoving an American into a bottle that Walker was (ahem) conducting with.
    • Jones taking a blow to the face from Mrs. Fox for brutally banging an American's head on the floor.
    • Godfrey takes the cake! Picture this: Godfrey, the oldest and physically lamest member of the platoon who would never hurt a fly, smashing an American over the head with a chair.