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"On the other hand, there were proper ways of entering a library. He waddled over to the shelves and selected Humptulip's seminal work How to Kille Insects. All 2,000 pages of it."
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"...there is an ever-increasing body of opinion which holds that the Ultra-Complete Maximegalon Dictionary is not worth the fleet of lorries it takes to cart its microstored edition around in."
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"No wonder the Fantasy section has reinforced shelving."

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The Lord of the Rings is three books long, and each book is as long as three books!
Marco, Animorphs
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"A big book is a big evil."
Callimachus, poet and catalogue writer of the Library of Alexandria
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I do not know how successful "The Kindly Ones" was, how close I got or how far I came from what I set out to say. Still, it's the heaviest of all of these volumes, and thus, in hardback at least, could undoubtedly be used to stun a burglar; which has always been my definition of real art.
Neil Gaiman, afterword to The Sandman Volume 9.
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How long is this one? Because I've promised to read the whole thing to my son. I read him the last one, Harry Potter and the Structurally Reinforced Bedside Table.
Hugh Dennis, Mock the Week.
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"I like a thick book because it will steady a table, a leather volume to strop a razor and a heavy book to throw at the cat."
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