Dreadful Musician/Quotes

Oh, I write love songs for my favorite girl And sing them soft and low But before I get to finish She says she has to go She's nice and says, "Excuse me, I've got to find a bar I think I need refreshment 'Fore I hear you play guitar." —Harry Chapin, "Six-String Orchestra"

Get off that piano. You're hurting its feelings! —"Jelly Roll" Morton (legendary jazz musician)

Klink: Col. Hogan, I have decided not to play in your prisoners' orchestra. I may, however, do a solo over the loudspeaker system. Hogan: Well, if I were you, I'd wait until the general leaves, sir. Klink: Why? Hogan: I mean, how would it look, a mass escape while he's here? —Hogan's Heroes, Movies Are Your Best Escape

Accordion, n. An instrument in harmony with the sentiments of an assassin. —Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary