Everything's Even Worse with Sharks/Quotes

In an effort to cure Alzheimer's, scientists in an underwater lab inject science directly into the brains of regular sharks. In a twist that for some reason was unexpected by the scientists, the sharks become super smart. They use their new skills to terrorize the research team, who for some reason refuse to let the sharks just escape into the open ocean. After several reasonably standard shark deaths, including a shark destroying a helicopter, Samuel L. Jackson takes stock of the situation, tells everyone to calm down, and provides an awe-inspiring rallying speeches in the face of disastrous adversity. He spends so much time going face-to-face with adversity, that he neglects to guard his back, which is aimed at the only giant hole in the lab where a super shark may be expected to hang out. Not surprisingly, he gets his ass eaten by a super shark. —Cracked on Deep Blue Sea

"Sharks are just evil fucking beasts. But they are protected, the Great White Shark, a protected species, because if they all die, there won't be any huge, murdering beasts in the sea — which I think is a good thing, isn't it?" —Eddie Izzard, Sexie (2002)

"S'all right, I understand. Why trust a shark, right?" —Bruce, Finding Nemo

"Why does a shark know kung-fu?!" —Negi Springfield, Mahou Sensei Negima