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Atlantiana "Tiaa" Rebekah Loren[]
A gothic Jerk Sue of staggering proportions. She beats up people who call her pretty to show off how unshallow she is. Her personality beyond this is basically a mush of Common Mary Sue Traits. Scored a 200 on the Universal Mary Sue Test.
Edward "Ewdard" Cullen[]
Tiaa normally Does Not Like Men (or women, for that matter), but Ewdard is an exception based entirely on how "hawt" he is. He talks in Ye Olde Butcherede Englishe for no explained reason.
Bella, Jessica, Angela, and Lauren[]
Jessica is the Alpha Bitch with Bella, Angela and Lauren as her Girl Posse. Ewdard is committed to Bella, but would like to leave her for Tiaa, resulting in Wangst.
Dave and Marie[]
Tiaa's clueless foster parents. They are apparently a banal suburban couple with an extreme case of Weirdness Censor. In their minds, Tiaa is a smiling, wholesome little girl.
Uncle Larry[]
Dave's Obviously Evil brother who frequently babysits Tiaa. Dave and Marie are naturally oblivious to the fact that he is a Complete Monster who likes to beat and rape Tiaa.
Snooflanti-tatuna a.k.a. Snoofles[]
A gay talking panda bear. Yes, a gay talking panda bear. That is all.
Jacob, the Werewolf King[]
An Ax Crazy psycho with No Indoor Voice who kidnaps Tiaa and tries to rape her.
Tyffani, Abigaille, and Rochelle[]
Three interchangeable goth girls who become Tiaa's friends. Pure Satellite Characters.
Caius[]
Appears to Tiaa in visions to tell her Luke, I Am Your Father.
Jasper Cullen[]
Jasper tells Tiaa that he is ashamed of being gay. He promptly gets over his Gayngst after she tells him that it's okay to be gay. Then he has a gay threesome with Snoofles and some random guy.