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GTA, London, GTA2[]

Grand Theft Auto III[]

Vice City[]

  • Grand Theft Auto: Vice City, during the "Publicity Tour" mission, the dialogue between the members of Love Fist throughout the mission is priceless.
  • Grand Theft Auto: Vice City. Vercetti comments that the stolen cop uniform is snug in the crotch. Vance pathetically says his stolen uniform is the same. And then five minutes later, undercover at a crime scene, Vance tries to blend in by commenting upon a cop's shiny badge.
  • "Love and togetherness! And the manatee! And the lasers!"

San Andreas[]

So many we had to give it its own page.

Liberty City Stories[]

Also has its own page.

Vice City Stories[]

Grand Theft Auto IV[]

Got its own page, too. Just go there for GTA IV laughs.

Episodes from Liberty City (L&tD/BoGT)[]

  • One word: Yusuf Amir. That is all.

GTA Radio[]

  • The radio stations also contain some gems. One from Grand Theft Auto: Vice City:
Cquote1

"They kidnapped your wife!"
"But I'm not married!"
"You are now! TO AMERICA!"

Cquote2
  • The talk radio stations can be absolutely hilarious. This quote is from an interview segment with a cop in San Andreas: "Yeah I work undercover in a crackhouse. It's great, I get to smoke crack everyday! I even brought my wife undercover and made her a crackwhore! Say hi to the newsman, bitch!"
  • In GTA 3, the Citizens Raging Against Phones group on Chatterbox is hilarious.
Cquote1

Protestor: Liberty City was great, before phones ruined everything.
Lazlo: Liberty City was a church, a cow pasture, and three houses when the phone was invented.
Protestor: LIAR!
Lazlo: You're the liar!
Protestor: Liar, liar, pants on fire!
Lazlo: What are you? Are you three years old?
Protestor: Lazlo's a liar, Lazlo's a liar! I bet that isn't even your real name!
Lazlo: Shut up!
Protestor: You shut up!
Lazlo: Stupid!
Protestor: Nanny-nanny-boo-boo, stick your head in doo-doo!
Lazlo: Ugh, we're going to commercial.

Cquote2


Cquote1

Alien: "Oh my god... You're. A. FUCKING. Moron."

Cquote2


  • Maurice Chavez's "Pressing Issues" radio show in Vice City is probably the best thing in the game. Particularly when Pastor Richards shoots a nudist:
Cquote1

Maurice: Dios mio, he shot him! T-There's blood and pubic hair all over the studio! I am sorry, this is "Pressing Issues" with your award-winning and soon-to-be-executed host Maurice Chavez...

Cquote2
  • This snippet from Just or Unjust on GTAIV's WKTT
Cquote1

Announcer: Welcome back to Just or Unjust with the Case of the Stolen Truck and the Underage Fuck!

Cquote2


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