(having dinner at the Klumps:)
Mama Klump: Sherman, I cooked all this food. Is that all you gon' eat?
Papa Klump: Hey-hey-hey-hey! What's wrong with you? You supposed to eat that thing, not scalp it!
Sherman: Well, daddy, all the calories in the chicken are found in the skin and in the fat, so I peel off...
Papa Klump: Now what you talkin' 'bout? "That's where all the fat and calories is"? You know where that comes from? Watchin' that damn TV! (
starts helping himself to more food) Every time you turn it on, they got somebody in there talkin' bout "Lose weight!", "Get healthy!", "Get in shape!". Got everybody lookin' all anorexic talkin' 'bout that's healthy! I know what healthy is! (
pours gravy all over his plate) And tell you somethin' else: I don't know why everyone's tryin' to lose weight in the first place! Ain't everyone supposed to be the same size! 'Sposed to be all different! Big, small, medium, midget, you 'sposed to have all of that. And I don't know what it is that everybody wants to be the same size. Like that
Oprah Winfrey. She go and lose her weight, wasn't nothin' wrong with her, she was fine! Oprah was a fox! She lose all that weight and her head look big, skin hangin' all over. And
Luther Vandross,
n*gga used to be the black Pavarotti! Lost all that weight, lookin' all ashy. Oprah and Luther need to keep their ass one way 'cause I'm confused!