Hook/Funny

• Jack's drawing of a plane crash with him and his family wearing parachutes — except Peter, who's just falling. To the shark-infested ocean.
• Tootles slamming the door in front of the Banning family because he's so excited to find that "It's snowing!" when he opens it.
  • Jack laughs, then starts choking his gum. Peter angrily pats him on the back.
  • This all happens immediately after Peter calls England "the land of good manners."
• "Don't try to stop me, Smee trytostopme."
  • "Better get up off your arse and GET OVER HERE SMEE!"
  • "STOP ME! THIS IS NOT A JOKE! I'M COMMITTING SUICIDE!"
• Smee introducing Hook to the crew:

Turn down the main mast, maties, cos here he is. The cunning kingfish, the bad barracuda! The sleaziest sleaze of the Seven Seas. A man so deep, he's almost unfathomable...a man so quick, he's even fast asleep! Thank you! Now, let's give him a very big hand, cos he's only got one! I give you, the steel-handed stingray, Captain James Hook!

• During the baseball game, a pirate fan in the bleachers shouts out that one of the pirates playing is attempting to steal second base. The player in question is then shot by the catcher.
• "Smee, do something intelligent!" (Smee ducks into Hook's cabin and fills his pockets with gold)
• "I've been shot!"
• Rufio and Peter, Volleying Insults.

Peter: Nearsighted gynecologist.

• • Especially funny at the end, where Rufio runs out of insults and devolves to screaming, "MAN! ST-STUPID, STUPID MAN!"
• The Lost Boys' response to Peter explaining that he's a lawyer.

Rufio: Kill the lawyer!! Peter: I'm not that kind of lawyer... (runs)

• Peter is trying to climb up to save his kids. Time for a Call Back...

Peter: Somebody give me a hand. Hook: I already have.

• Maggie yelling at Hook towards the end.

Maggie: You need a mother very, very badly!

• Peter's rant trying to justify Tinkerbell flying in and talking to him, likely all a Throw It In by Robin Williams on the spot.
• This dialogue:

Peter: What are you doing? Tootles: (on the floor) I've lost my marbles.

• • Peter sighs. Before they went inside, he told his kids to respect the elders, and Tootles isn't helping his case.
• Smee tries on one of them fancy words he's heard the Captain use.

Smee: I've just 'ad an apostrophe. Hook: I think you mean "epiphany." Smee: Lightning 'as just struck my brain. Hook: That must have hurt.

• This exchange:

Pirate: (as he and Peter cross swords) Wait... aint you- Peter: Peter Pan. Pirate: *Jumps out window*

• • And this:

Peter: AARGH! Pirate: AARGH you! Peter: NOT BAD! YOU? Pirate: NOT BAD! Peter: ALRIGHT!

• • And this:

Peter: I remember you being a lot bigger Hook: To a ten-year-old, I'm huge.

• • Well actually, this movie has Robin Williams, so most of it is CMOF
• Tinkerbell breaking character as she pretends to be dying to get Peter onboard. "Louder, Peter!"