I've Got an X and I'm Not Afraid to Use It

Stock threat/warning that you, er...ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin. Contrast with He's Got a Weapon!.

Only actual quotes please. I've Got An Edit Button Too And I'm Not Afraid To Use It.

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Examples:

I've got Comic Books and I'm not afraid to read them!

• Stand Back! I've got a particle wave ray gun and Bipolar disorder!
• Mr. Nobody from Doom Patrol has a boiled egg and he knows how to use it!

I've got Film and I'm not afraid to watch it!

• Alvinandthe Chipmunks' neighbor has got a lemon zester and he's not afraid to use it!

I've got Literature and I'm not afraid to read it!

• Feet of Clay: "I've got a bow and I'm not afraid to use it!" The crossbow's point moved uncertainly, proving him a liar.
• At the climax of The Wee Free Men, the Nac Mac Feegle have a cheap lawyer, and they're not afraid to use him! "With prejudice!"
• Good Omens: "I've got a pin and I'm not afraid to use it."

I've got Live Action TV and I'm not afraid to watch it!

• Gary Murray's got detention slips, and he's not afraid to use them! (against vampires)
• Dr. Andrew Brown's got mind altering drugs in the other room and he's not afraid to use them!
• House's got a full bladder and he's not afraid to use it!
• His wife has a bat. Mr. McGuire has a mitt and he's not afraid to use it.

I've got Music and I'm not afraid to listen to it!

• Brad Paisley, "Flowers": "I've got a Visa in my wallet / And I'm not afraid to use it" (to continue buying roses to ask for forgiveness).

I've got Video Games and I'm not afraid to play them!

• Final Fantasy Tactics: Cornered in his hideout, Teta's kidnapper says something along the line of "Back off! There are more than enough explosives in this fortress to blow you to hell and back!" It's a moot point, because Zalbag then ordered Algus to Shoot the Hostage and the kidnapper.

I've got Web Comics and I'm not afraid to read them!

• Dork Tower: Ken has a bar of soap at a gaming convention and he's not afraid to use it!

I've got a Web Video and I'm not afraid to watch it!

• The Angry Video Game Nerd has PENS, and he's not afraid to use 'em.

I've got Western Animation and I'm not afraid to watch it!

• A security guard trying to get Carl Crashman and his friend Jamie to stop playing a video game demo in an electronics store:

Security Guard: Beat it. I've got a walkie-talkie and I'm not afraid to use it.

• Corpse Bride: Victor Van Dort's got a dwarf, and he's not afraid to use him!
  • He's also got a fork, and he's even LESS afraid to use it!
• Kim Possible's got a website and she's not afraid to use it!
• Shrek: Donkey's got a dragon and he's not afraid to use it!
• Atlantis: The Lost Empire: Used by Dr. Sweet to Mole.
  • "I've got soap, and I'm not afraid to use it!"
• An Extremely Goofy Movie: PJ has a biscotti, and he's not afraid to use it!
• Aladdin's got a Genie and he's not afraid to use him!
• From Garfield and Friends when Garfield is dealing with a man eating plant.

Garfield: I've got a food processor and I know how to use it!

• I Am Weasel:

I.M. Weasel: Nobody move! I've got a loaded monkey, and I'm not afraid to use it! I.R. Baboon: Click, click!

• Toy Story 2: Utility Belt Buzz Lightyear (who thinks he's a real space ranger) makes this threat when detaining the original Buzz.

Utility Belt Buzz: No back talk! I have a laser, and I *will* use it!

I've got Something Else and I'm not afraid to use it!

• Random bumper sticker says, "I have an attitude and I'm not afraid to use it!"