I Will Show You X

Dumb? I'll show you dumb! You always do. —Skywarp and Starscream, War for Cybertron

Doesn't necessarily have to be spelled with an actual "I."

In response to something character A says, character B takes parts X and Y of its wording, and says something along the lines of "I'll [X] You Some [Y]!" or similar variations. It's not so much a Stock Phrase as a stock-structure of phrases.

When said towards a villain, this may be part of a Shut UP, Hannibal moment. However, neither using the phrase nor being the subject of the phrase is necessarily associated with moral alignments in either direction. Very often turns out to be a Lame Comeback.

Compare/Contrast with Verb This, in using someone's own wording in a retort to them, but in this case it's specifically about what the character saying it will do, whereas Verb This has no "I" in it and could just as easily be referring to some external circumstance. Compare No, You.

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Anime

• In Yu-Gi-Oh!, Tristan has an open crush on Joey's sister Serenity, which Joey is none too pleased about. At one point in the English dub, Tristan talks about how he's going to visit Serenity (read:hit on her) in the hospital, to which Joey responds "I'll send you to the hospital!"
• When the preteens of Ichigo Mashimaro pay a surprise visit to Nobue at the diner where she works. Miu tries ordering breakfast at a time of day the diner doesn't serve it, then writes a zero after the price of each menu item, them complains about the prices. She finally puts in a proper order, including a chocolate parfait. Nobue mutters that she'll "parfait" her...

Comic Books

• The page image is from issue 74 of Archie Sonic comics. After the freedom fighters find Robotnik on the walkway of an outer-space facility after previously thinking he was dead:

Sonic: You're toast if you don't tell me what happened to my family and the other roboticized mobians, Ro"butt"nik! Robotnik: Come now, hedgehog. Can't you at least take a moment to welcome me back from the dead? Didn't your parents teach you better manners? Bunnie: Ah'll show you manners! Bunnie then punches Robotnik in the face.

• NNY's response to being called "Wacky" by a woman in a Taco Bell Smell:

NNY: I'll show you wacky! I'll show you all wackeeeeee!

• • Then he disembowels everyone in the restaurant with a spork.
• Similarly, one issue of Groo the Wanderer shows he dislikes being called "feckless."

"Groo is not feckless! He has plenty of feck! I will show you feck like you have never seen!"

Film

• In The Dark Knight, during an argument between a witness on the stand and Harvey Dent:

Dent: I have a sworn statement from you that [points to Maroni] this man is the head of the Falcone crime family. Witness: Maroni? He's a fall guy. I'm the brains of the organization! Dent (to judge): Your honour, permission to treat the witness as hostile? Judge: Permission granted. Witness: Hostile? I'll show you hostile! Witness pulls out a gun and tries to fire it. The gun was jammed.

• Aladdin:

Aladdin: If I were as rich as you, I could afford some manners. The Prince: I'll teach you some manners! The prince then kicks Aladdin into the mud.

• And in the Disney version of Beauty and the Beast, when Maurice intrudes into the castle.

Maurice: I just needed a place to stay... Beast: I'll give you a place to stay! Beast then imprisons Maurice in the castle.

• Idiocracy:

Joe: "Your Honor, I call for a mistrial." Joe's Lawyer: "I'm gonna mistrial my foot up your ass, (if) you don't shut up."

• In Fantastic Four, Johnny and Ben discuss girls.

Johnny: I've been wondering. How do you and Alicia...*clicks his tongue in lieu of finishing the sentence* Ben: That's none of your business! Johnny: Okay, okay! I'm just concerned, that's all. I don't want to wake up one morning and find out she was killed in a rockslide! Ben: I'll show you a rockslide!

• Serenity has a more delayed example. The Operative tells Mal that he's trying to help the Alliance create "a world without sin". Later, upon discovering a dark secret about the Alliance that the Operative didn't know about, Mal shows it to the Operative but first says "I'm gonna show you a world without sin."
• In the film version of The Running Man, Amber, one of the protagonists and the main Love Interest, is cornered by Dynamo.

Dynamo: Thought it was pretty funny out there in the zone? What's the matter now bitch, why aren't you laughing? Amber: Because there's nothing funny about a dickless moron with a battery up his ass. [Dynamo gets on top of Amber, preparatory for trying to rape her] Dynamo: I'll show you dickless. [Amber electrocutes him by shooting the ceiling sprinklers]

• Done in the original X-Men 1 movie:

Magneto: What are you looking for, Charles? Xavier: I'm looking for hope. Magneto: I will give you hope. And I ask one thing in return: don't get in my way.

Literature

• From Ross Macdonald's novel The Far Side of the Dollar:

Lew Archer: I was investigating-- Cop: Investigating what? Lew Archer: Law enforcement in this county. It stinks. Cop: We'll law-enforcement you.

• Al Franken reacts to Fox News' Coverage of President Bush's 2004 Inauguration speech in the first chapter of The Truth (with jokes), specifically the part where Bush claims to have won a mandate:

But the responsible news media, instead of calling him out or grabbing their crotch and going "Mandate? I got your mandate here!", were going along with it.

• In Big Trouble, when Eliot Arnold is getting fed up with his newspaper-writing job, his boss admonishes him that he needs to have his assignment (pointing to his computer) "in here before you go home tonight." Eliot then crosses around to his boss's side of the desk, saying, "How about I put it in there RIGHT NOW?" and puts his left foot through the computer screen.
• Marco does this in Animorphs

Marco: I'll show you monkey!

Live Action TV

• On The A-Team, B.A. would often respond in this way to whatever nonsense Murdock was spouting. Some of them barely made sense, but Murdock didn't always give him much to work with, and B.A. doesn't like to mince words.
• Wizards of Waverly Place. There was an entire episode devoted to TJ Taylor, another wizard who responded to everything with this trope. And of course, it never made sense.
• In Drake and Josh when Josh started losing patience with helping Drake cheat via Radio.

Drake: Just pull up your antenna. Josh: I'll pull up your antenna!

• From the Doctor Who episode, "Army of Ghosts" after the Doctor convinces Torchwood that Jackie is Rose who went through Rapid Aging.

Doctor: Lead on. But not too fast. Her ankle's going. Jackie: I'll show you where my ankle's going.

Music

• Country Music singer Gretchen Wilson has an album and song titled I Got Your Country Right Here.
• "Space" by Sarah Buxton: "You say you want space / Well, I'll give you space..."
• From "I Wanna Sex Up A Crying Charmander In His Sexy Butthold While Jerking Off His Two-Inch Floppy",by The Baby Stompers:

Let's go play some Pokémon! I'll poke you

Video Games

• In Starcraft, in one of the missions in the original Terran campaign:

General Duke: You're about the last folks I expected to show up. What's your angle, Mengsk? Jim Raynor: Our angle?! I'll give you an angle, you slimy confederate piece of sh... Arcturus Mengsk: Enough, Jim!

• Tales of Monkey Island: There are a few examples of this when Elaine is poxed and fighting De Singe near the end of Chapter 4: "I've got yer juicy strain right here, bucko!" "I'll give you some piddlin' firkins!" "I'll show you who's done for!" and "I'll spread you to the four corners!!"
• Resident Evil 3 Nemesis has the Nemesis scream out "S.T.A.R.S.!" Guess what Jill says near the end when she finally finishes him off? "You want S.T.A.R.S.? I'll give you S.T.A.R.S.!"
• When Kratos finally confronts Ares face to face in the first God of War, he tells Ares that the monster (Kratos himself) he created will now destroy him. Ares' response? "You do not know what a true monster is..." (grows a bunch of freaky spider legs on his back) "Your final lesson is at hand!"

Web Animation

• In the dragon Strong Bad email:

Strong Sad: I think I've improved on your methods a bit, too. I employed some chiaroscuro shading, and- Strong Bad: I'll improve on your methods!! Strong Bad sets Strong Sad's drawing on fire and reduces it to nothing. Strong Sad: What?! That's not an improvement!

Web Comics

• In Questionable Content, Angus compliments his shy, socially awkward roommate Marigold on her haircut, then slips in an affectionate insult:

Angus: So does that mean you're gonna wash it more than twice a year now? Marigold: (not amused) I'll--I'll wash you more than twice a year! B-because you're a stupid jerk! Who smells! Angus: O venom-tongued maiden! Stay your barbs, I beseech you!

• Eight Bit Theater, this strip.

Sarda: That's adorable, really. Garland: Oh, we'll show you adorable! (shows Sarda a photo of a bunny) Sarda: Yes, you sure did.

• During the Wizard Duel between Terra and Magus in El Goonish Shive, Terra promised to show him "potential".
• Played with in Men in Hats, with the word being "converge".
• Ozy and Millie: "I'll feather duster you!"

Western Animation

• A Running Gag in Animaniacs, or more precisely, the "Goodfeathers" series within it, is Pesto very often misinterpreting what Squit says about him. The result is I Will Show You X, preceeded by several other phrases among the lines "Are you sayin' that I'm <...>, is that what you're sayin'? What am I, <...> here to amuse you?"

Squit: Yes. Pesto, you are one swell bird. Pesto: What do you mean by that? Squit: Why, I said you're swell, that's all. Pesto: You're sayin' I got a big head, is that what you're sayin'? What am I, a bloated puffy round head here to amuse you? Squit: Nah, I didn't say that, I just... I said you're swell. Pesto: I am swell? Squit: Yeah, you're swell. Pesto: Swell? Squit: Yeah. Pesto: That's it! Big Ball of Violence* Here's your "swell"! I got your "swell"! Right here! I'll show you "swell"!

• The sign at the entrance of the Brooklyn Aquarium in Futurama reads "We got your fish right here pal."
• The Simpsons:

Homer: Lisa! Knock off that racket! Lisa: But Dad, I'm supposed to practice an hour a day! Homer: I'll practice you! Lisa: You'll practice me...what does that mean? Is it supposed to be some sort of a threat?

• • And in another episode:

Judi Dench: Who are you talking to? Londoner Squeaky-Voiced Teen: No-one, mum, I swear! Judi Dench: I'll Mum you! {starts beating Londoner Squeaky-Voiced Teen}

• • Another Simpsons example, when Homer's mom reappears, Bart asks for retroactive birthday, Christmas, Hannukah and Kwanzaa gifts. Homer responds with "I'll Kwanzaa you!"
  • This is a fairly popular one with The Simpsons. For example, when Homer was yet again passed up for the "Worker of the Week" award for...an inanimate carbon rod. "Inanimate huh? I'll show him inanimate!" He just stands there.
  • "The earring could plug the hole." "I'll plug YOUR hole!"
  • Done again in, "Today, I am a Clown":

Bart: Dad. You blew it. You listened to Lisa and then you lost your stranglehold on the audience. Homer: I'll audience you! (starts strangling him)

• The Penguins of Madagascar, "I Was A Penguin Zombie":

Vet: Don't worry. I know you don't like the big, scary needles, so we'll use a topical cream instead. Skipper: Oh, yeah? You try anything and I'll cream your topical!

• In a Ren and Stimpy episode dealing with the Stimpy facing his own mortality and going throuh various emotional phases. To illustate "Anger", there's a short bit where Ren is at the dinner table, ready to eat.

Stimpy: *cheerily* Here's your breakfast, Ren! Ren: Uh...Stimpy? You forgot the toast. Stimpy: TOOAST??! HEEEERE'S YOUR TOOOOAST!!!! *slams toast into Ren's face and rubs it violently*

• In the finale of Avatar: The Last Airbender: "I'll show you lightning!"
  • And during Aang's fight with Zhao:

Aang: "Woah, wild shot!" Zhao: "I'll show you wild!"

• • Also, from one of the chibi shorts:

Katara: Tiny Zuko! He looks so cute! Zuko: I AM NEITHER CUTE NOR TINY! Iroh: You are pretty cute, my tiny nephew. Zuko: I'LL SHOW YOU TINY!

• In the sequel series, Korra is fond of giving these whenever she commits a foul during a Pro-bending match.

Referee: Foul! Over the line! Move back to Zone 3! Korra: (under her breath) I'll show you "over the line..."

Referee: Unnecessary roughness! Move back 1 zone! Korra: (splashing him) I'll unnecessarily rough you up!

• On The Mr. Men Show, a running gag has Mr. Rude say "I'll give you X," and then fart, causing all the characters to chastise him.

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I got yer stinger right here pal!