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Main Community[]

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 Phoenix: Look, if you want my advice and before you get any ideas, I'd just forget dating altogether. It gets you into nothing but trouble and everyone will make fun of your sweater.

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 Rigby: (to Godot) Why do you have a toaster on your face?

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 Cindy: Whatchu do, H-Lizzle? You dealin'?

Heloise: Dealing? Well... sort of. I deal misery~

Cindy: .... So you deal coke? Aight, dat's cool, dat's cool.

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 Benson: You look about as good as I feel.

Worth: ... I look like a disgruntled gumball machine? Good to know.

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 Robot Santa: YELLING IS VERY NAUGHTY!

Dr. Chipotle Jr.: SCREW YOU, SANTA! DR. CHIPOTLE JR. NEVER GOT ANY PRESENTS!!

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 Thrasher: Man, what was Mordecai thinking dating her? Killing the ex after a bad breakup happens a lot on my planet, but I didn't think some bird guy would do it...

Yakko: (If he was drinking something, he'd do a spit-take right here) Wait, what?!

Thrasher: Yaknow, he said "That's for ripping my heart out, bitch"? She must've dumped him pretty bad! (laughs)

Yakko: (you just get a stare for that, you idiot) Woah, dumber than advertised.

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Logs Community[]

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 Heloise: Just remember... you have the potential. You just have to fight those pointless feelings of regret and live up to it. You could be just another prankster... Or THE Prankster. Your choice.

Yakko: In that case, I'll take the third option.

Heloise: ...

Yakko: — I'll just be myself.

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 Audrey II: (after having a harpoon thrown in his face) AIN'T YO MOMMA EVER TEACH YA NOT TO INTERRUPT SOMEONE WHILE THEY'RE EATIN', BOY?!?

Veser: My mama never taught me SHIT!!

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 Trevor:What would be the worst scenario you can imagine?

Rigby:Having to listen to your speeches for the rest of eternity?

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Crack Community[]

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 Phoenix: (on the subject of sins) Well I went cow-tipping when I was a kid, does that count for anything?

Lucius: Only if you're a Buddhist.

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 Yakko: (to Phoenix) You sure you're a lawyer?

Phoenix: Sure I'm sure. I have the badge and everything.

Yakko: Wonder if Satan's tried out those new ice skates by now.

Lucius: What was that...?

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 Yakko: Whaddaya want all the lightbulbs for, anyway?

MegaVolt: So I can set them free to roam in the wild, what else?

(beat)

Yakko: (proceeds to hysterically laugh at him)

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 Murdoc: (regarding a mac n' cheese Jell-o shot) Great ice-breaker, though. "Ay, want a mac and cheese Jell-o shot?" "What the hell are those?" Then you end up in bed with Katy Perry. (shrugs)

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