Meat Shield (webcomic)

MeatShield is a Sword and Sorcery, Dungeons and Dragons-style fantasy comic strip that updates Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. MeatShield centers on the adventures (or lack thereof) of Dhur, a mighty half-orc barbarian warrior, Ch'p, halfling monk and pastry chef extraordinaire, and Jaine, half-elven mistress of magic, music and sarcasm as they wander the world of Ardris.

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MeatShield provides examples of:

• Agony of the Feet
  • Becky Sourbottom, with the Be Quiet Nudge below.
  • Dhur, "Boot to the Door!"
• Are We There Yet?: Dhur, of course.
• Ass Shove: "Papillon, I need some money..."
• Awesome McCoolname: Clan Punchintheface
• An Axe to Grind: Dhur
• Back From the Dead: Dhur, thanks to a feud between the celestial tasked to guide him to the afterlife and Borloth the Necromancer.
• Be Quiet Nudge: Dhur to Becky.
• Big Bad: Disparoxus. At least according to the author.
• Berserk Button: Don't ever mention "RULES" around Dhur.
• But for Me It Was Tuesday: From Borloth the Necromancer:

Borloth: You will have to be more specific. I have killed many friends.

• Calling Your Attacks: Lampshaded in this strip.

Ch'p: It's called "respect for the art", Day'l! Something I don't expect you to understand!

• Childhood Marriage Promise: Except Dhur didn't technically promise anything.
• Compensating for Something: Ch'p wonders if the two huge snake statues at the entrance of the port of Vedris means the city is compensating for some shortcoming.
• Deadpan Snarker: Jaine
• Dope Slap: Jaine to Dhur, of course.
• Face Palm
• Fastball Special: Dhur is big and strong, Ch'p is small... It was bound to happen.
• Four-Fingered Hands: Any non-humans or non-elves (or non-hybrids) like dwarves, goblins, halflings, etc. Snake-people have three-fingered hands.
• Half Human Hybrids: Dhur is orc/human and Jaine is elf/human.
• I Call Her "Vera": Dhur names his brand-new axe "Grinsplitter".
• Idiot Hero: Dhur, in a standard joke, is exceedingly dim.
• In the Back: Becky has no qualm against backstabbing bad guys.
• I Think You Broke Him: "I think you broke her brain."
• Its Pronounced Tropay: Word of God:
  • DHUR: pronounced as "durrr", as in "I don't get it, durrrr...."
  • JAINE: pronounced as "jane", such as the name.
  • MONA DHOHSWIF (Dhur's mom): Mo-nah Doe-swiff
  • CH'P IR'KELL: Ch-IP Ur-UH-kell
  • JONUS: Jo-NUSS
  • KILANIO: kill-ON-yo
  • NITSU'A: nit-SUU-ah
• Killed Mid-Sentence: This bad guy.

Becky: Mister, you talk too much.

• Last-Second Word Swap: Dhur tries one here, but he's not very good at it.
• Let Me Get This Straight...: A textbook example.
• Literal Metaphor: Leonid doing a bit of soul-searching...
• Luke Nounverber: Becky Sourbottom
• Modesty Towel: Well, modesty blankets.
• Naked on Revival: Dhur, after coming Back From the Dead. And he's bald, too.
• Nerd Glasses: Stan the orc
• Offscreen Moment of Awesome: Done deliberately and lampshaded. Also, provides the page image.
• Our Liches Are Different: Leonid the pseudo-lich
• Pass the Popcorn: The two drow watching the protagonist duo.
• Punctuation Shaker: Ch'p Ir'kell; Day'l Ir'ket; the Nitsu'a monks in general.
• Role Playing Game Verse
• Ship Sinking: Word of God:

No. I don't feel like drawing "D&D meets Moonlighting". Besides, think of what their kid would look like: part half-orc, part half-elf... my friends, that sounds like a one-way ticket to UglyTown.

• Shout-Out
  • At least three in one panel.
  • And three more in this one. With Call Back to boot.
• Sibling Yin-Yang: Dhur and his brother Ghar.
• Smoke Out: Day'l pulls out one.
• Smug Snake: Day'l Ir'ket
• Snake People: The inhabitants of Vedris, the City of Serpents. Extract from the Encyclopedia Ardrisia:

The Church of Vasra, God of Serpents and Secrets, is headquartered here. Long ago, a fundamentalist movement in Vedris prompted the faithful to undergo magical transformations into snake-human hybrids to prove their devotion. This magical alteration has bred true and now nearly 50% of the population are snakepeople.

• Spit Take
  • Jaine, here.
  • And then, her father.
• Ungrateful Bastard: Prince Jonus of Westhame
• Wall of Blather: Leonid isn't exactly listening to Disparoxus.
• X on a Stick: Lich-on-a-stick. No, really.
• You Have Outlived Your Usefulness: Disparoxus to Leonid.