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"Let this be a lesson, kids. When debating, solve your disagreements not with words, but by screaming "I AM A MAN!" and punching them in the guts. (...) Yes, even if you're a woman, you should shout that you are a man, otherwise it doesn't work."
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The main bulk of any narrative is that whatever conflict exists gets resolved, in either the hero's or villain's way. An action show would typically showcase some form of violence as a method of solving conflict, while a more dialogue based show would showcase a form of compromise to have it resolved. Though there's a mindset out there that dictates that the process of conflict resolution is usually based on gender, with men being associated with violence and aggression and women being aligned with reason and this is applied regardless of what the show's genre is, which results in any of the following scenarios:

  • Men getting praised for using either violence or reason, and women getting booed at for not using the latter.
  • Women being lauded regardless of what method of conflict resolution is being used, and men being considered pansies unless they solely focus on using violence.
  • Violent men putting a permanent end to the conflict, while reasonable women, for all the mudslinging and underhanded tactics that they use, end up prolonging the feud, sometimes to the point where it goes on forever. The scenario that's most likely to be considered offensive.

Related to Closer to Earth. A sister trope of Guys Smash Girls Shoot. Related to why the Action Girl used to be rare enough to be a viable trope.

Examples of Men Use Violence, Women Use Communication include:


  • Completely inverted in Black Lagoon.
  • The Freudian superhero team of Id, Superego, and Ego in Animaniacs. Superego is a woman who peacefully resolves conflict with an enemy. The others are male monsters that smash things up.
  • The Han/Leia and Anakin/Padmé pairings in Star Wars. Though both Padme and Leia are definitely action girls and usually hold their own in a fight, they both clearly prefer diplomacy. Han can be quite reasonable at times, too, but never parts with his blaster. Anakin, sadly, was so this he killed most of the cast.
  • The Vorin religion practiced by the cultures of most of the main characters in The Stormlight Archive takes this Up to Eleven, to the point where it's considered a sin for women to fight and for men to even learn to read.
  • The main cast in My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic is mostly female but still manages to use this trope through the two resident tomboys.
  • Played straight in Torchwood: Miracle Day with Lynn, who tried to solve the problem with mind games and snark, then subverted by Gwen, who solved the problem of Lynn thusly:
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 Lynn: If you're the best England has to offer, God help him.

Gwen: I'm Welsh. *punches Lynn across the airplane, possibly dislocating her arm as Lynn was handcuffed to her seat*

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  • Also Alien X of Ben 10 Alien Force and Ben 10 Ultimate Alien. There are two aliens, Bellicus and Serena. Bellicus is a warlike male whose answer to everything is to smash and destroy. Serena is a peace loving female who would prefer to talk everything out in a loving way. They both agree to immediately kill Paradox on sight, thinking he is violating the restraining order against him.
  • Toward the end of Persona 4, notice that the males in the party advocate enacting revenge by throwing Namatame into the TV without a second thought, while the females dissent, suspecting that they'd missed a crucial detail somewhere in the investigation and begging the player and Yosuke to think it through more carefully. Though Naoto seemed to be in favor of tossing him in since she was the one who first pointed out that they could do so.
  • Subverted by every Tsundere in every Anime ever.
  • A very rare superhero / mythology subversion from Thor #300: after discovering that The Celestials were going to judge the worth of humanity in 1000 years, the male leaders of the gods of Earth, convinced this was going to end badly, planned to fight them. However the female leaders decided to instead prove humanity's worth by gathering the best example of each human skill or art and making them immortal. Sure enough, when the Norse gods attack them (it was not explained why ALL the pantheons didn't attack together, not that it would have made much difference) they get curbstomped. Then Gaia shows up with the chosen humans, and convinces The Celestials to spare mankind.
  • Averted by the Doctor in Doctor Who. Sometimes inverted when he has an Action Girl companion like Leela or Ace.
  • Buffy: "I wasn't gonna use violence. I don't always use violence. Do I?"
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 Xander: "The important thing is you believe that."

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  • Flat-out inverted in Trails in the Sky. Joshua is the one with the "silver tongue" (as Estelle pointed out), while Estelle would rather beat people up with her staff.
  • In the episode "Romeo Must Wed" from The Proud Family, Penny developed a crush on Kwok while rehearsing for their school's production of Romeo & Juliet. After a while, Kwok's parents, the Wongs, politely asked Penny's parents, Oscar and Trudy, that they not allow Penny and Kwok to see each other anymore. While Trudy remained civil in her inquiry, Oscar immediately jumped to conclusions, thinking that the Wongs didn't approve of their son having a relationship with Penny because she wasn't "good enough" for them. This prompted both Oscar and Mr. Wong to imply the other was a racist. It turned out the real reason was that Kwok had an arranged bride, who was coming to town for a visit.
  • Mass Effect 3 suggests that the krogan work this way, although we only meet one female krogan in the entire series due to genophage-induced Gender Rarity Value. It's also a relative value, since the first thing we see her do under her own power is gun down two enemy soldiers without a second thought.
  • Averted in The Order of the Stick, especially with Haley and Celia. While Celia fits the female half of this trope perfectly, Haley (another woman) is more content to shoot her way through the Theives' Guild scene.
    • Also, the main character most likely to use diplomacy is Elan, a male.
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