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- "I'm a snow beast."
- Ian getting beaten up by an old lady after bumping into her.
- "Put some Windex on it."
- Since the Church isn't used to adults converting, Ian is baptised in a kiddie-pool.
- "He don't eat no meat? What do you mean he don't eat no meat?!" [silence] "Oh, that's okay. I make lamb."
- "Hey, Ian! We're gonna kill ya!"
- "OPAAAAAAAHHH!!!"
- "Rodney and Harry?!"
- "Why you want to leave meeeee?!"
- When Aunt Voula sits down with Ian's parents and tells them the story of the lump on the back of her neck.
- "Toula, the man may be the head of the house, but the woman is the neck, and she can turn the head any way she likes!" (Cut to the mother getting angry with the father until he agrees with her)
- "There's a hole in this cake."
- "So, we have apples and oranges. We're all different, but... in the end we're all fruit!" It Makes Sense in Context, but is no less funny.