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Dog-and-Pony-Show 7393

How embarrassing.


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 Spike: Rarity... woods... jewels... dogs... hole... taken... SAVE HER!

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  Written by Amy Keating Rogers

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Sapphire Shores, the Pony of Pop, has just commissioned Rarity to design five costumes for her upcoming tour. There's just one problem; Shores wants them to be covered in gems, and Rarity had just gone through the last of her stock. In order to satisfy Shores' order, she goes gem-hunting with Spike in a nearby quarry. While Rarity casts Detect Gem with her horn, Spike digs up the caches of gems she finds.

As they are getting ready to return, however, the two are ambushed by the Diamond Dogs, a trio of Gollum-esque dog-men. They've taken notice of how easily Rarity is able to find gems, and so have decided to kidnap her and force her to find gems for them. Despite Spike's best efforts to fend them off, he is outnumbered and outmatched, and Rarity is dragged underground.

After several imagination scenes, Spike and the other ponies head underground to rescue her, thinking she must be in great danger. Meanwhile, the Diamond Dogs order Rarity to start finding gems for them. Slowly, however, she starts getting on their nerves: When the dogs tell her to dig up the jewels, she refuses to more than scratch the ground little by little, on account of her having had a "pony-pedi"; when they force her to pull a cart to carry around the gems, she proceeds to criticize her captors' nails, breath, overall hygiene, etc. and when they start complaining about the whining...

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 Rarity: I am not whining; I am complaining! Do you want to hear whining? (in higher-pitched voice) Thiiis is whiiiiining! Oooo, this harness is too tiiiight! It's going to chafe! Can't you loosen it? Oh, it hurts and it's so rusty! Why didn't you clean it first? It's going to leave a stain, and the wagon's getting heavy, WHY DO I HAVE TO PULL IIIIIIIT?!

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The dogs cave into Rarity's demands to treat her better at first, but then try to re-assert their authority over her. However, Rarity refuses to pull any passive-aggressive punches, and the whining starts to grate on the Diamond Dogs even more.

Meanwhile, Spike and the other ponies are getting closer to where Rarity's being held, only to be stopped by a group of Diamond Dog guards. After successfully bucking them into submission, the group charges into the dogs' lair, only to be met by Rarity's frazzled captors. The dogs demand that they take Rarity back, as they can no longer take her whining and complaining. Rarity arrives, stating that her friends are just in time to help her carry the huge cartfuls of jewels she's collected. As the group heads back home, with enough gems in tow to fill Sapphire's order, Rarity relates how she had the Diamond Dogs wrapped around her hoof, teaching everyone that even a ladylike pony can get herself out of a sticky situation.


Tropes (YMMV items can be found here)[]

  • Accidental Kiss: Barely averted; Spike nearly kisses Applejack while in the middle of a fantasy about saving Rarity from the Diamond Dogs.
  • Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking: After the Diamond Dogs have kidnapped Rarity and attempted to make her their slave, one of them "calls her ugly," prompting a look from one of the others that just screams, "What the hay, man?"
  • Badass Adorable: A rare time Spike shows impressive physical prowess, managing to briefly take on all three Diamond Dogs so Rarity could escape. The effort was all for nothing, though still somewhat worthy of this trope.
  • Beneath the Earth: Where the Diamond Dogs live.
  • Big No: Spike does this twice, both with a Skyward Scream, although the second time a deliberate contrast to the first because now he's screaming from the bottom of a hole rather than topside next to one. (There's little other reason for the second time; who yells in desperation at "We don't know which way to go"?)
  • Bread, Eggs, Breaded Eggs: Somewhat combined with Insistent Terminology in the below quote.
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 Rarity: I would appreciate it if you'd stop calling me "pony." I am a lady, and I wish to be addressed as such, so you may call me "Miss," or "Rarity," or "Miss Rarity."

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    • Lost in Translation: In at least the German dub, where it becomes something like " 'Lady,' 'Rarity' or 'Valued Rarity.' "
  • Brick Joke: That rectangular sapphire given to Spike actually shows up in every batch of gems Spike digs up just before.
  • Call Back: We saw Twilight Sparkle invoking an What Would X Do? in "Feeling Pinkie Keen" regarding Rainbow Dash. In this episode, Twilight and Rainbow can be seen pulling a simultaneous charge at the Diamond Dogs without so much as an afterthought.
  • Canis Major: The Diamond Dogs and the Dig Dogs are bigger than the ponies, and much bigger than the only other dog shown in the series (Winona).
  • Chain of Ponies: When Spike gets pulled in after baiting the Diamond Dogs with a gem he saved, Applejack tried to pull him out, but before she slides in as well, Twilight follows but…you get the idea. Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy join in the chain, then just as the latter is pulled in, Pinkie Pie joins the chain because, hey, it looks like a fun ride!
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  Pinkie Pie: "Wheeeeeeeee!"

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  • Curb Stomp Battle: The Diamond Dogs easily outmaneuver the rest of the mane cast when they try to use the holes. The mane cast in turn fight off the Dig Dogs with surprising ease. Spike imagines an insane one as part of his heroic fantasy.
  • Cute but Cacophonic: While Rarity normally has a lovely voice, if she's trying to be verbally irritating then her whining voice becomes positively weaponized.
  • Cut Lex Luthor a Check: The Diamond Dogs have a mine that is positively loaded with gems. Rarity desperately needs gems. If the Dogs had approached Rarity with a deal to give her, say, 20% of the gems that she locates and they dig up, and generally treated her acceptably, everyone could have gone home with a lot of gems. Instead, Rarity gets everything. Maybe if the Diamond Dogs weren't really, really stupid…
    • Further more, Rarity had absolutely no problem simply finding them gems when she thought that's all they wanted. If they hadn't tried to make her their prisoner forever, they still would've ended up better off in the end.
  • A Day in the Limelight: While it's about Rarity, Spike does play a major role in this episode.
  • Deadly Dodging: The bad guys pull it off when fending off the ponies trying to enter the holes in the ground, making Applejack and Twilight collide. More annoying than literally deadly, of course.
  • Deadpan Snarker: If Rarity isn't torturing the Diamond Dogs, she's snarking at them. Sometimes she does both at the same time.
  • Distressed Damsel: Played with; this is how the others picture Rarity in their Imagine Spots. In truth, Rarity had her kidnappers "wrapped around her hoof the whole time."
  • Does This Remind You of Anything?: A bunch of thugs kidnap a beautiful woman and force her to perform services, while referring to her as "precious" and drooling over her talents... sounds a lot like sexual slavery, doesn't it?
  • Even Evil Has Standards: Spot gets noticeably upset with Rover when the latter calls Rarity "ugly"
  • Even the Girls Want Her: Sapphire Shores is not surprised to see a mare apparently swooning over her.
  • Exact Words: Rover tries to invoke this when Rarity accuses him of calling her ugly, but it backfires spectacularly.
  • Face Paw: Spot does this twice. Rover does a slower version while moaning.
  • Foreshadowing: Shades of this when Rarity designates a dig site at the base of a cave formation, causing a stalactite to fall on two dogs. Hints at Rarity getting out of her situation by using her wits.
  • Flashback Cut: Played for Laughs. Before a commercial break, just after Rarity's abduction, Spike lets off his Big No. After the commercial break, Spike has gathered the other Mane cast, racing to the rescue, but then leads to a quick flashback scene, with Spike arriving in Ponyville, panicked and out-of-breath, uttering the quote at the top of this page to convince the Mane cast to help.
  • Food as Bribe: Rarity pays Spike in gems for helping her (which he eats), although he's so infatuated with her he'd probably do it for free.
  • Furry Reminder: Invoked by Spike.
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 Spike: Show yourselves, you dogs! You curs! Ah, there you are, you mangy mutts!

Diamond Dog: Who are you calling mutts? Unleash the hounds!

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  • Imagine Spot: Several involving the other ponies imagining what Rarity must be going through, and one particularly hilarious one...
  • Indulgent Fantasy Segue: Spike's fantasy where he's a manly older dragon knight, who effortlessly fights off the Diamond Dogs and rescues Princess Rarity. Things go a bit differently during the actual rescue.
  • Ineffectual Sympathetic Villain: While the Diamond Dogs are surprisingly sly in holding off the other ponies, they are ultimately oafish weasels that are brought to their knees by the greater horror that is Rarity's whining, at one point even correcting themselves when they think they offended her.
  • It Was a Gift: Spike doesn't eat the gem he got from Rarity because of this.
  • Lantern Jaw of Justice: Fantasy Spike displays this along with Heroic Build.
  • Most Annoying Sound: Rarity's whining voice, to the Diamond Dogs. Unfortunately for them, she realizes this as well.
  • Mugging the Monster: The Diamond Dogs picked the wrong unicorn to attempt to enslave. Also happens to the Dig Dogs that try to capture the rest of the Mane Cast.
  • Muscles Are Meaningless: Possibly. Three huge dogs have trouble pulling carts filled with gems, while tiny girl ponies manage just fine.
  • Offscreen Teleportation: The Diamond Dogs move instantly between the holes in the ground when they're keeping the ponies from entering them.
  • Oh Crap: The Diamond Dogs when they realize Rarity hadn't even BEGUN to whine.
  • One Dragon Army: Spike in his fantasy.
  • Pity the Kidnapper: Invoked by Rarity when she discovered her complaining seriously annoys the Diamond Dogs. So she takes it Up to Eleven to be as annoying as she possibly can on purpose.
  • Pre-Ass-Kicking One-Liner:
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 Applejack: If you can take this bull by the horns, you better be ready for a ride!

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  • Quit Your Whining: The Diamond Dogs to Rarity's complaining and her actual "whining".
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 Rarity: (in response) But I thought you wanted whining!

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  • Real Women Don't Wear Dresses: Averting this is the Aesop of the episode.
  • Remembered I Could Fly: It's not until Spike suggests Twilight copy Rarity's gem-finding spell that she remembers Rarity actually taught it to her previously. Twilight was worried about Rarity AND there had never been a need for her to use said spell so forgetting that she knew it is forgivable.
  • Shout-Out: There's the suspiciously Gollum-like mannerisms and behaviors of the antagonists, for starters, as well as the fact that they're named the Diamond Dogs.
  • Title Drop: The wording is slightly off, so it's a lot more subtle than, say, "The Show Stoppers", but the Diamond Dogs call Rarity "[their] precious little pony".
  • Troll: Rarity. She outwits the Diamond Dogs by trolling them so hard that they beg her friends to take her away.
  • We'll See About That: The Diamond Dogs block off the holes that lead to their lair and Applejack says that they can't muscle through it. Rainbow Dash replies "We'll see about that." They can't.
  • What Kept You?: By the time the heroes arrive to save her, Rarity has already saved herself and subdued the Diamond Dogs.
  • You Need a Breath Mint:
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 Rarity: Uh! What is that smell?

Diamond Dog: Smeeeeeeeelllllll?

Rarity: Ah. Mystery solved. It's your breath.

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