Nothing's Fair in Fifth Grade

Nothing's Fair in Fifth Grade, a novel by Barthe Declements, won several awards for being the most popular children's book in thirteen states.

It's a story set in an elementary school, involving a student, Jenny, who is initially repulsed by a new transfer: morbidly obese classmate Elsie Edwards. At first, Jenny can't stand Elsie any more than the other kids, especially after Elsie is caught stealing her classmates' lunch money from their desks so she can buy food. However, one day, she runs into Elsie crying in the girl's bathroom. Inconsolable, Elsie spills out her life story to Jenny, along with the details on her cold, unloving mother. Jenny, beginning to see her as human for the first time, vows to stick up for her-- which she does. Despite resistance from other kids, she eventually brings over one-- and then two-- of her friends to her side.

Over time, Jenny tries to deal with her own personal problems (having a hard time with math, her parents' occasional arguments), as well as help Elsie with her own. Unfortunately, Jenny's attempts to right things sometimes cause more trouble-- or trouble just arises through other means-- but things gradually get better over time.

Near the end, when Elsie has been doing well, one of Jenny's friends thumbs a ride and hitchhikes, and Jenny and the rest (including Elsie and Elsie's little sister) go along for the ride out of fear of leaving their friend behind. The man drives far away from the kids' intended destination, and they eventually end up having to escape the man's truck. When they do, Elsie's little sister stupidly goes back in the truck to retrieve her purse, and it drives off with her in it. The kids, horrified, walk to the nearest building, a tavern, and call the police. Yet another strike against Elsie, just when her mom was starting to (maybe) warm up to her. Or at least not be a total bitch to her.

Things get better over time even with more disasters and strikes against Elsie's good behavior, and it ends on a positive note.

The book was popular enough to spawn several sequels and even a prequel. Elsie, now slimmed down, gorgeous and one of the most popular girls in school but still insecure and still clashing regularly with her mother, is the narrator of How Do You Lose Those Ninth-Grade Blues? (1983) and Seventeen and In-Between (1984). A classmate and minor character, Marianne, is the central character of the prequel, The Fourth Grade Wizards (1988), set a year before Elsie's arrival. There's also Sixth Grade Can Really Kill You (1985), which relegates Elsie and friends to the sidelines and introduces Helen, a girl with a reading disability who acts out in class to mask her insecurities. None of the other books are as well-known or beloved.

The book has believable characterizations, very accurate dialog, and portrays the kids' home and school lives very realistically. This makes it an excellent aversion of the most common mistakes children's book authors make, considering that most of them have never been really good at portraying kids or their lives this realistically, especially while still being fun to read.

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This book contains examples of:

• Abusive Parents - Elsie's mother is at the very least verbally and psychologically abusive (she makes Elsie walk at a distance from her so no one suspects they are related). Very likely physically abusive as well: she blames Elsie for a mess Robyn made and smacks Elsie with a broom for it.
• All of the Other Reindeer - The rest of the class, not including Marianne and Jack.
• Annoying Younger Sibling - Kenny is this for Jenny for most of the book, but she comes to realize he's not so bad after all. Robyn is also this for Elsie, although the sisters become much closer in the sequels.
• Character Development - Jenny learns to be nicer and not as judgmental, while Elsie's home life improves - sort of. In the sequels, Elsie's relationship with her mother is still strained at best.
• The Cutie - Marianne, who's cheerful, somewhat childish, and nice to everyone, even Elsie when the class hates her.
• Everybody Hates Mathematics - Jenny is a good student in general, but math is her Achilles' heel, especially fractions. She ends up with a D-minus in math on her report card, which convinces her to seek Elsie's help, since Elsie is a math whiz.
• Evil Matriarch - Every time we see Elsie's mother, we like her even less.
• Fat Girl - Elsie.
• First-Person Peripheral Narrator: While the story is told by Jenny, it is mostly Elsie's story. Elsie moves into the narrator role for the two direct sequels.
• Hidden Depths - Elsie's much more than just a fat girl: she's a math whiz, and a talented singer.
• Hope Spot - Just when things get better, another disaster occurs.
• Inner Monologue - Jenny makes jokes at Elsie's expense, but never out loud. She makes less of them as she grows to like her, but still makes a few.
• Kids Are Cruel - The teasing Elsie endures.
• Meaningful Name - Jenny names her kitten D.D. when the kitten has trouble becoming housebroken, because kids who get D's are slower to catch on.
• Most Writers Are Adults - Excellently averted. The dialog, characterizations, and concerns of the children are actually very realistic. The fact that the author is both a former teacher and former school psychologist might have something a lot to do with that.
• My God, What Have I Done? - Once Jenny realizes what Elsie has to deal with at home, she feels bad for having treated Elsie so cruelly. Her friends Diane and Sharon take longer to come around, but they do eventually.
• Not My Driver - Shouldn't have picked the potential kidnapper for a ride, hitchhiking fools!
• Odd Friendship - A normal, average girl and a morbidly obese bully magnet.
• Off to Boarding School - The fate that awaits Elsie if she doesn't shape up and if her mother can't be convinced otherwise.
• Oh, Crap - This is Elsie's reaction when she's caught by Jenny, buying candy with the lunch money she stole.
• Peer Pressure Makes You Evil - Or stupid, as in the hitchhiking instance. Or good, as in being nicer to Elsie. Or for that matter, evil, as in mocking Elsie because others are doing it.
• Troubling Unchildlike Behaviour - The hitchhiking scene.
• The Unfavourite - Elsie is the unloved one; she gets either neglected or yelled at, while her sister Robyn is doted on. Jenny feels like the unfavorite in her family at times, but comes to realize that her home life is idyllic compared to Elsie's.
• Wardrobe Malfunction - Elsie's skirt falls down in class one day, the reason being that her clothes no longer fit because she is losing weight and her mother can't be bothered to buy her new clothes. After Diane's mother calls out Elsie's mother for this, Elsie gets new clothes.
• Write What You Know - The reason the book is so spot-on accurate with its portrayal of fifth-graders both in and out of school.
• Youth Is Wasted on the Dumb - The hitchhiking scene, and the subsequent greater trouble it led to, would not have occurred if the kids weren't acting so dumb and impulsive then. (The 7 year old going back to the truck to retrieve her purse is the icing on the cake)