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At this point, let me tell you what's been causing me grief with this film: it is average. What I mean by that is that it is, in pretty much all of its aspects, average, neither good nor bad. This gets to the point where everything has almost a neutral tone to it. It's a beige movie. So it's no surprise we get an average drink scene, followed by a tepid bit of exposition, interrupted by a pointless mind meld scene to establish Kirk leaping to a bit of vanilla action. |
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"It's okay, but that's the problem. It's so 'okay' that it's not even worth existing. So bland and mediocre that it's hard to even come up with legitimate complaints."
—The Angry Video Game Nerd on Independence Day for the Playstation
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He strained to listen for what was missing, and felt that the music was like a flightless bird that didn't even know what capacity it had lost. It walked very well, but it walked where it should soar, it walked where it should swoop, it walked where it should climb and bank and dive, it walked where it should thrill with the giddiness of flight. It never even looked up.
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When nothing but second best will do.
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If The Lonely Lady had even a shred of style and humor, it could qualify as the worst movie of the year. Unfortunately, it's not that good. It's a dog-eat-dog world out there in Hollywood and it's not enough to be merely awful. You need something to set yourself apart. Pia Zadora tries, and she has pluck, but she's just not bad enough all by herself.
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He's colossal, stupendous! One might even go so far as to say he's mediocre.
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.....................(five minutes pass)....................."I have nothing to say about this car." (walks away)
—Jeremy Clarkson on the Vauxhall Vectra
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It's mediocre. I'm not overwhelmed or underwhelmed. I'm just whelmed.
—"Mulberry's 2009 Fall TV Preview"
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To tell the truth, I actually find it difficult to talk about the writing, not because it's so bad, but because it's so astonishingly mediocre. The plot? Mind-numbingly average. The characters? Despicably one-note.
—Phillip on Season of the Witch
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I think the highest and lowest points are the important ones. All the points in between are, well, in between.
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Is it a good movie? Well let me tell you something: This. Film. Was. Okay. Just... okay. I mean... not good, not bad, it's just... okay. How is the monster? It's okay. How is the acting? It's okay. How are the special effects? It's all okay! It's like a giant flaming nuclear ball of adequacy!
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Yes, Telenet's quality control was lacking. For every Exile series, the company churned out twice as many unremarkable titles... It wasn't as though the typical Telenet release was even memorably bad; it was more the game equivalent of unflavored oatmeal.
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Nobody hates Weekend at Bernies! The WAB films are generally regarded as so unremarkably mediocre they don't even attract any trolls who care enough to shit on it. Believe me, I've tried to get in debates with people about it!
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