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"If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?"
Br-ain teaser
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"You fail at failing. No, that's not a double negative."
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Wedge: Tycho, we're about to achieve a tremendous victory we don't want.

Tycho: We'll put that in your biography. General Antilles was so good he couldn't fail when he tried to.
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"Things I have learned: Never put anything ugly or stupid into your game. Everyone will want one."
Nemo, Puzzle Pirates artist
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"I'm so unlucky that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying."
Rodney Dangerfield
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"I can't lose! Even when I want to lose, I can't!"
Denny Crane, Boston Legal
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