Starcraft/Funny

Standard spoiler trope warnings apply.

Starcraft and Brood War

• In the final mission of the Protoss original campaign, after Aldaris's acknowledgement of Tassadar and Zeratul as "representing all that is greatest in us":

Jim Raynor: Great. Does that mean they'll send any backup for us?

• Also in a cutscene

"That's a zerglin', Lester. Smaller type o' zerg..."

• • In the same cutscene, later:

"I love you, Sarge!"

• Try and get the various game units to sing...
• Several Stop Poking Me quotes. The Observer takes the cake with the various transmissions it intercepts... from across the fourth wall!!!
  • This isn't Warcraft in Space!!!
  • The Siege Tank driver starts humming Ride of the Valkyries. (Don't ask me why the Valkyrie doesn't.)
• Ever tried ordering Devourers to Attack-Move against Carriers? Cuz it's frickin' hilarious.
  • A little explanation for those who haven't tried it: Carriers launch tiny Interceptors to attack, with the consequence that a mass attack command generally targets the Interceptors first (because they're closer). Interceptors are the fastest units in the game; Devourer missiles are gigantic blobs of acid, and one of the slowest missiles in the game. They home.
• "The Khala awaits me Kerrigan, and though I am eager to rejoin my brethen you will not find me easy prey." -> Spawn Broodling

Starcraft II

• If you complete the "Ghost of a Chance" scenario of Starcraft II, Tosh will become enraged at Raynor during the post-mission communication and will stab a Voodoo doll. It has no effect on Raynor, to Tosh's perplexity, but Tychus finds himself being hit with piercing pain and tossed around the room.
  • "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!
• "Bar Brawl", after Jim's beating up of Tychus:

Jim: And fix my damn jukebox. Tychus: L'il help here? ...anybody?

• Tychus's reaction to the Odin.

"Brutah, it is the single greatest creation in the history of mankind."

• Mission "Engine of Destruction". Tychus shows his love of the Odin in hilarious ways:

"Now how'd I miss this button with a skull on it?" "Just wake me up when you're ready. I reckon a small nuke oughta do it."

• • Matt's reaction to Tychus's talks after the first base:

Matt: Does he always talk this much, sir? Raynor: Yup. Once you get him into a fight he never shuts up.

• After the opening cutscene in which Raynor shoots the TV in the bar out of anger at Mengsk, every time you go to the Cantina (even after moving to the Hyperion), there is a paper taped to the TV that says "Don't shoot the screen."
  • "P.S. I'll add the cost of the TV to your tab."
• Introduction to the penultimate mission:

Tychus: You know, I've been thinkin'. Raynor: Scares me more than the Zerg.

• Several moments from the news broadcasts and commercials:
  • Kate Lockwell breaking loose and letting out several excited cheers when she's promoted to lead anchor when her predecessor, Donny Vermillion, has himself committed.
    • Not to mention the story of Donny's commission. At the time, he was wearing nothing but socks, holding a copy of Mengsk's prision manifesto and a pound of peanut butter.
  • Also, Kate interviewing a Dominion ghost.
    • We expect to BLEEP them... very soon.
  • "Nuke Noodles: Call down the flavor!"
  • "Take your shot at life: iPistol!"
  • "WHAT IS WRONG WITH THAT WOMAN?! TELL HER NOT TO INTERRUPT MY INTERVIEWS!"
  • All of Donny's hilariously inept attempts at censoring various news stories to favor Emperor Mengsk.

(cutting Kate off) I'm sorry, Kate, I've just received news that - er. Um. beat. Cut - cut to commercial.

• "HAVE A NICE DAY <3"
• "Ain't no time to be lying down on the job, general."
• There's of course the Blizzard famous Stop Poking Me quotes. The ghosts, for example, have taken their barely contained psychopathy Up to Eleven in this installment...

Ghost: Whenever I see a world untouched by war, a world of innocence, a world of lush forests and clear rivers...I really just wanna nuke the crap out of it! Reaper: "Thought I was signin' up to be a Repo Man, imagine my surprise..." Marine: "I'm here to kick ass and chew bubblegum! And I'm all out of - oh, forget it..." Firebat: "Ack. Turns out I hate the smell of napalm in the morning." Medic: "Dammit, I'm a medic, not a doctor! beat. Oh."

• • Even more hilarious, the Thor doesn't even wait past the fourth poke.

Thor: "I am here! Click me!"

• I can't be the only one who laughed his ass off at the "Heal Bus" comment of the Medivac's description at the Hyperion Hangar...can I?
• Swann can be relied on to bring the snark whenever.
  • Post "Ghost of a Chance", regarding Nova:

Swann: Your girl came through alright.[...] Raynor: She ain't "my girl", Swann. Swann: Hmm. Scary female assassin type that's going to wind up trying to kill you some day? She sure seems like your type.

• • In the opening of "Supernova", where Raynor's force must outrun a wall of fire:

Swann: Hope you brought your sunscreen, Cowboy. Raynor: Now ain't the time, Swann!

• Tychus and Raynor are discussing the completed artifact:

Tychus: I just wish the damn thing came with an instruction manual. For all we know, we could be upsettin' the entire space-time continuum. Raynor: Easy, Tychus. This ain't science fiction.

• This exchange:

Raynor: Say... didn't you end up gettin' married the last time we were there? Matt: I told you before: if I had known what the prize was, I never would've joined that card game!

• The Too Dumb to Live mentality of the AI really kicks in in Media Blitz, where the Odin is implied to be the most powerful weapon of war the Dominion, or perhaps humanity period, has ever created. Doesn't stop any enemy unit at all from running in and attacking you without any concern for their safety. Considering the unit is so big it can knock over streetlights and crush cars just by walking around, it can be pretty amusing to see a lone marine charge in guns blazing at you.
• Watch the Heart of the Swarm trailer and at about 1:20 see Kerrigan load her rifle and point it at her enemy with a ridiculously cute face, with her own voice saying in the background "The killing will never stop until Mengsk is dead!"
• The trailer for the official crossover mod Blizzard DOTA has some hilarious self-aware narration.

These heroes are forced to fight to the death in an endless battle with no purpose... other than ladder points.

• Raynor got a few quotes in the Hyperion:

"Ahh, I like all the pretty lights." "I should go for a walk outside... Oh wait." "That's it. Goin' to have to start pretendin' like I'm wrokin'." "Standin' around talking to my damn self..." "What the Hell was I doing?"

Starcraft Multiplayer

• FireBatHero is always good for this sort of thing, whether it's his insane victory celebrations or Much turning the tables and humiliating him with a heart made of pylons.
• In a friendly match between rivals SlayerS_BoxeR and Yellow, Boxer sneaks one of his SCV's up to Yellow's base. A common tactic of Boxer's at the time was building bunkers right outside his opponent's base, trapping them. But instead of a bunker he builds... an Engineering Bay. Then he just leaves it there. When Yellow finds it a few minutes later, you can see a smirk cross his face.
• This game in which the zerg player mind controls a protoss probe and uses it to create a Nexus belonging to him. Out of that he creates a probe of his own and spells out "lol" with pylons on the map. He proceeds to create protoss units, as a zerg, against his protoss enemy.]
• BratOK and Stephano who play against each other in a professional tournament. Neither of the players want to win, because that would mean going up against a crazy good player called Sen. As a result both players do impossibly funny implausible builds in attempts to lose.

TotalHalibut: "Whatever the case, we've got BratOK going for the Starport here, which could of course be very very indicative of the fact that Stephano has built his Hatchery in his opponent's natural." "Ehh, this is a pretty... standard build, you know, Stephano..." in-auditorium crowd begins laughing

• • Then the way the game ends:

BratOK: "gg gl" Stephano: "NO!" BratOK* has left the game.

• In Day Nine Daily #237, a player named Armad gets his base constantly Nydus'd. In a moment of panic, he lifts up his entire base and tries to relocate to a safe expansion, only to find that the Zerg is everywhere he goes. In the end, he sets up a circle of Barracks in the center of the maps, only to get completely overrun by the Zerg and losing the game.
• CellaWerra's 13 gate build, commentated by Husky Starcraft "Why I am need 13 gateway?"
  • To explain, what his ally meant by a "13 Gate" is to obtain 13 probes before building ONE gateway, but CellaWerra, who never played Protoss, mistaken it as actually building 13 Gateways. To top off the humor, CellaWerra actually WON. Though, it's just as likely that he purposely misinterpreted his partners advice just for the fun of it.
• CellaWerra's rendition of Rihanna's Umbrella.
• Poor Idra.
• Not all SC2 folks take themselves seriously, though. Husky vs. Spanishiwa. The first in what is likely to be an epic series of games wherein Husky Starcraft gets his ass kicked by pro gamers.
• In this battle, KHB (Protoss) is fighting Artosis (Terran). At one point, it looks like Artosis' Marine/Marauder mix is about to severely decimate KHB's base when KHB rushes out a Mothership and proceeds to completely turn the tables on his opponent. Artosis was utterly flabbergasted.

Artosis: what

• HOLY F%&$ING TALKING FISH BATMAN!! by the folks at Lifes a Glitch TV.
• WhiteRa quotes. WhiteRa is an old school player originating from the Starcraft Brood War days and is currently playing Starcraft II at the age of 30 while married. He's also from the Ukraine, speaks some English, and is one of the most loved, well-mannered players.
  • "make expand and then defense it". Which has reached Memetic Mutation levels, where WhiteRa defenses everything.
  • "speshal taktics". Which is code-named for everything from unorthodox Protoss strategies, typically involving Warp Prisms, to WhiteRa's method of delivering a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.