|Quotes • Headscratchers • Playing With • Useful Notes • Analysis • Image Links • Haiku • Laconic|
Because it's considered that Bigger Is Better in Bed, those men that have smaller genitalia are considered Acceptable Hard Luck Targets. This is almost always Played for Laughs, since Naked People Are Funny.
It is often implied that people with a small penis are Compensating for Something.
Despite women asserting that they really don't care about size, many men are absurdly concerned and insecure about how they measure up. It is one of the few body image tropes that is Always Male. Fear not, guys, for women really are being honest when they say that size doesn't matter much. In ranking of things needed for good sex, dick size is just barely less important than nipple shape. Things like communication, caring, and effort are far more important than any physical attribute.
No Real Life Examples, Please, but, guys, from a medical perspective, so long as you have more than 3 inches (8cm), you're fine. Anything less than that is a medical condition called micropenis.
Anime and Manga
- It is implied that Shinji Ikari has one in Neon Genesis Evangelion. He runs out of the bathroom completely naked, having been scared by Misato's pet penguin while in the bath. As he runs out, his genitalia is covered by a small carton of toothpicks in the foreground. Misato asks him to "cover that up" and he quickly does so. Then again, Shinji is 14 years old and with room to... well, grow.
- Japan in Axis Powers Hetalia, according to Italy. "... Japanese people grower, not shower."
- Subverted by Takamura from Hajime no Ippo. It's implied at first that he's rather small down there and that's he and the other boxers tease and bully Ippo... but later there's the implication that he's not as small as it seemed. It's just that poor Ippo is THAT massive between the legs.
- Pictured above: In Kill la Kill, while one cannot see exactly how small Sanageyama is, Mako's... gesture with her fingers is rather explanatory.
- The producer who takes over Cherry Comics in "Cherry Gets It in the End (And Mom Does Too!)" is portrayed as having a comically small penis.
- There's one Underground Comics strip parodying Elf Quest. "Fluffer Nutter" lives with his family in the modern world, spends most of his time boozing and abuses his family. When Treestump's expy calls him out why he's so pissed despite being rich and famous, he shouts what the whole strip has been a build-up for, it seems: "I've got a teeny weeny pini!"
- This Voltron fic curses the horribly demonized Keith with one of these plus Speed Sex to cap off his long list of other oh so horrible and evil flaws.
- In the 2000 remake of Bedazzled, Brendan Fraser's character is transformed into a huge sexy basketball player... who has laughably small equipment.
- Scary Movie
Greg: A small dick's like a disability, man! Would you make fun of a guy in a wheelchair?! Huh? Where are you, you sick fuck?! I'll kick the shit outta you, all right?! It's not the size of the hammer, it's the nail you're throwing it at!
- Girls Will Be Girls: Evie's son, which she mentions to prospective girlfriends.
- The Swedish-made Penis Enlarger is a running gag in Austin Powers.
- Tank Girl is captured by one of the W & P soldiers, who intends to force her to fellate him at gunpoint.
Tank Girl: Well, okay. But I'm gonna need a microscope. And some tweezers.
- Porky's has a team of boys out to get laid. It's no secret that their equipment comes in varying size, with this end being taken by Pee Wee.
- Foxy Brown has the title character and a friend pose as High Class Call Girls to allow them to get upclose to a corrupt judge at a hotel sex party. After they strip him before sex, they immediately point and laugh at his genitals, asking him if there was a meat shortage. He laughs and plays along thinking this is all just part of the foreplay, until he's pushed out of the room naked into the hallway crowded with people, and they tell him to take his wet noodle somewhere else while they go find a real man to please them.
- The central gag of the mostly-disdained Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star.
- In No Holds Barred, a redneck wrestler mocks the miniscule manhoods of two of the Corrupt Corporate Executive's accomplices in the Bad Guy Bar's bathroom.
- The tragic events in Unforgiven began when Delilah, a prostitute, laughed at Quick Mike's small penis, which enraged the cowboy enough to cut her up. This sets off a whole chain of Disproportionate Retribution steps which ultimately end in bloodshed.
- Dancer from the Dance: Sutherland's small penis is mentioned a few times.
- In Anne Lamott's Bird By Bird: Some Instructions On Writing and Life, she recommends that in order to avoid lawsuits when writing a Captain Ersatz of a real man who might want to sue, give the character a tiny penis and the real man will never step forward and claim that's him.
- In Behaving Bradley, one character acquires the nickname "Microdick" after the boys have to strip for swim class in the locker room. Later on, innocent Brainless Beauty Hopie asks Bradley what the nickname means, and he tells her that it's because the boy in question wants to become a disc jockey and use a microphone. Hopie responds, "Oh. I thought it had something to do with his penis."
- Sisterhood series by Fern Michaels: John Chai in the book Vendetta, who is being used to represent Yellow Peril, is revealed to have this. Nikki and Alexis ask Yoko if it is true that Chinese men have a Teeny Weenie, and Yoko, giggling, confirms this.
- Amidst Blood Meridian's sweeping and evocative Purple Prose, the physically enormous Judge Holden has his junk described twice, uniquely — once by a witness and once by the narration — as his "pizzle", which doesn't technically mean this, but in context, it does create a certain mental image. On the other hand, gang leader Glanton is said to have been "a study".
- Little Britain did the trope with big beefy nude bodybuilder suits with tiny genitalia.
- Misfits: Kelly to Nathan, after getting him to proudly display for her it was actually a shapeshifter disguised as Kelly:
I don't date men with tiny cocks.
- In Seinfeld, George is embarrassed when a woman sees him nude after he has just come out of the pool, and there is some "shrinkage".
- In an episode of Son of the Beach where the characters were naked, the male lead had a much smaller Censor Box than The Ahnold.
- In an episode of House, a woman took a naked photo of Chase at a party and posted it on Facebook. At first his crotch was pixellated, but later she uploaded an uncensored version, revealing this, apparently. The other characters, both male and female, teased him mercilessly for it, while Chase insisted the image had been doctored.
- In the Curb Your Enthusiasm episode "The Ski Lift", Larry meets a woman, Lisa, who says that she used to date his friend, Jeff, but broke up with him because he has a very small penis. When Larry tells Jeff about this, he denies having a small penis, and says that actually it's Lisa who has a huge vagina.
- During an MTV Reality Dating Show, a man decides to show up his adventurous side by stripping and streaking at a beach during his date with a woman. In the post-date commentary, when asked for a song suggestion that should be played at that moment, she recommends "All The Small Things" by Blink 182.
- Married... with Children: One of Al's many shortcomings in the bedroom, at least by Peggy's standards.
- A one hit wonder artist known as Gillete did a song called Short Dick Man.
- At the end of the Hollywood Undead video "Everwhere I Go", the chorus of which repeatedly mentions Charlie Scene's "weenie" and how he loves to show it off, Mr. Scene is actually shown whipping it out. Similar to his face in the opening of the video, it's censored with a drawing of his mask which appears to take up just enough space to cover up a nickel.
- The Bible: The Complete Word of God (abridged) opens with the three players wearing nothing more than a fig leaf each. One of the fig leaves is noticeably smaller than the other two.
- The play The Irish Curse dealt with a support group for the condition.
- Madame Thenardier on her husband in her verse of Master of the House: "Thinks he's quite a lover, but there's not much there!"
- In Conkers Bad Fur Day, Buga the Knut is defeated when he loses his Loin Cloth, exposing his "very small willy" and causing him to flee in shame.
- In The Bare Pit, a male invites women over to his pool to skinny dip, while he's secretly recording them in order to upload the footage and sell it on the internet. However the video is intercepted by someone else who splices the footage to remove all traces of the woman and leaves only the shots of him naked, and releases it over the internet. The next day at school he's humiliated when not only is his reputation as a romantic playboy completely shot, he also has to deal with his new nickname "Inchworm."
- In Mac Hall, Micah's ex-girlfriend posts something embarrassing about his penis in her blog. His current girlfriend Helen tries to console him by saying "I think it's cute." (It doesn't help.)
- South Park has done this a few times:
- In one episode, Osama Bin Laden is shown to have an absurdly microscopic penis. Cartman, spending the one episode as a Looney Tunes-esque cartoon screwball, comments to the audience, "Ohh, so that's what this is all about!"
- One episode has the idea of compensating for a small penis as its entire premise. It turns out that all of the angry people in the world are just pissed off because they're below the average length. To fix the problem the "average length" is shortened (although, ironically, Cartman still doesn't make the cut).
- In an early Pokémon-centric episode, the Japanese creators deflect scrutiny by talking about how small their penises are as opposed the well-endowed Americans. One woman calls them out on this, saying that they're only saying this to distract the male Americans. While this is true, one of the creators proves that he's not lying about the size of his penis, either.
- Peter Griffin in Family Guy. "And the Wiener is..." established that Chris' penis easily dwarfs Peter's before it was later exaggerated to Peter's penis being comically, almost impossibly, small. "You Can't Do That On Television, Peter" established that Stewie (who is one year old) is more well hung than Peter. "Wild Wild West" has Lois state that comparing a fully erect Peter to a Mike and Ike is an exaggeration.
- Stewie Griffin. Justified in that he is only a year old.
- A candy that's about an inch long