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"Because with Soviet lesbians, pussy eat you!"

File:Teeth movie poster 7045.jpg

And a lot of cowboys are about to sing some very sad songs indeed.

Teeth is an independently produced black comedy/horror flick about a simple girl whose vagina likes to bite off penises. She discovers her incredible gift one day when her love interest date rapes her. Throughout the movie the audience is treated to pretty much every man in the movie trying to sexually assault the girl, Dawn, and having his penis bitten off as a result. If that makes it sound like it's a Lifetime Movie of the Week with a carnivorous vagina thrown in, that's because it is.

Contains examples of:

  • All Abusers Are Male: Even a practicing gynecologist decides to sexually abuse Dawn during her check up.
  • All Men Are Perverts / All Men Are Rapists: Exaggerated; Everyone wants to rape Dawn. Maybe not her stepfather, but every other male is fair game. Her stepbrother, her semi-boyfriend, her gynecologist. EVERYONE.
  • Asshole Victim
  • Bathos: Most likely intentional.
  • Black Sheep: Dawn's brother is very much this, with a Complete Monster streak.
  • Brother-Sister Incest: Brad has some very sexy feelings about his stepsister.
  • Cursed with Awesome: When Dawn gains control over her teeth.
  • Fantastic Aesop: Don't rape someone with a Vagina Dentata, or else your penis will be bitten off!
  • Fingore: The gynecologist.
  • Flirty Stepsiblings: Brad's crush on Dawn
  • Genre Savvy: For a sick bastard, Brad is actually clever enough to realize that there's no way that Dawn would actually want to have sex with him, and it takes much persuasion before he finally agrees to go through with it.
  • Gory Discretion Shot: Averted, you get to see Dawn's victims' mutilations in their full glory.
  • Groin Attack: As if to rub it in, two of the discarded penises get eaten by a crab and a dog.
  • Idiot Ball: Dawn runs to her friend Ryan for help and claims that she has murdered people. The next day Ryan decides to tell her that she is meaningless to him and he just had a bet to see if he could have sex with her. He tells her this while having sex with her. She then bites off his penis.
    • He might not have believed she had Vagina Dentata, but when a girl claims to be a murderer it's clearly not a good idea to make her angry.
  • I Love Nuclear Power: It's subtly implied her "power" is a side-effect of living next door to a nuclear power plant.
    • Dawn's mother's illness is implied to be a result of this too.
  • Laser-Guided Karma: At the film's end, Dawn realizes she can deliver this to rapists and perverts.
  • Lifetime Movie of the Week: Every male character in the movie [1] wants to sexually assault Dawn. In just 85 minutes of screen time, she gets assaulted 8 separate times by 7 different men.
    • Alternatively, you could look at it as the opposite of Silent Hill, in that its protagonist is a disturbing, psychosexual mutant who has to run a gauntlet of ordinary humans who want to molest her.
  • Major Injury Underreaction: Contrast Brad's reaction with all the other victims. This may be due to him being stoned at the time.
  • Oh Crap: Brad has an almighty instance of this, as he finally realizes just how Dawn severely lacerated one of his fingers when he was a youngster. Said realization comes while he's in the middle of having sex with her.
  • Scare Chord: Used on a folk art picture of Vagina Dentata.
  • Shower of Angst
  • The Unfair Sex: In case it needs to be said again: EVERYONE WANTS TO RAPE DAWN!
  • Vagina Dentata: The Movie.
  1. With the exception of her genuinely caring step-father and a handful of background - conservative Christian - highschool teachers