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Hebrew Hammer 8571

Shabbat Shalom, Motherf#%$ers!!


The Hebrew Hammer is a 2003 Blaxploitation parody film starring Adam Goldberg and Andy Dick.

Damien, the evil son of Santa Claus, murders his father to continue his grandfather's (the previous Santa Claus, seen in the prologue) scheme to eliminate all December holidays save Christmas. When the Jewish Justice League gets wind of this fiendish plot, they start looking for one of their own to fight for their right to light their menorahs. The JJL Chief, Bloominbergensteinanthal, reluctantly agrees that their own hope is the one hebe too radical even for them: Mordechai Jefferson Carver, the Hebrew Hammer.

The Chief's daughter, Esther, convinces the Hammer to take up the cause. What follows is a hilarious walk through Jewish culture, playing with Jewish stereotypes, and saving Hanukkah for everyone.

As the Anti-Defamation League noted (after refusing permission to use their name, which becomes "Anti-Denigration League" in the script), these people are equal opportunity offenders. In fact, if you are not offended, you should demand your money back.


This film provides examples of these tropes:[]

Cquote1

 I want to have children with you. I want to get a good paying, stable job. I want to move to Long Island somewhere, someplace nice, fancy but not fancy shmancy. I want our children to go to private schools and take music lessons, maybe Abraham will go to Stanford. Sarah will go to an Ivy League, maybe Vassar. And afterward they will decide for themselves if they want to continue their religious studies in Israel because we will have practiced a highly effective assertive democratic style of child rearing, sprinkled with a healthy dose of liberalism. On a daily basis, I want you to tell me what to do, where to do it, and how I should live my fucking life

Cquote2
Cquote1

 Mordechai: How's it goin, my n***a?

Rahiam: How's it goin, my kike?

Cquote2
    • The KLF's token white accountant is shocked:
Cquote1

 Accountant: You just called him a kike...and you just called him a n****r.

Rahim: It's OK when we calls each other that.

Cquote2
  • Passive-Aggressive Kombat: The other part of the ultimate Jewish weapon.
  • Perma Stubble
  • Phrase Catcher: Remember, the fate of Hanukkah is resting on your shoulders.
  • Pimp Duds: The Hammer's usual clothes. And even Damien Claus wears a fur coat with his Santa hat when he's in full evil mode.
  • Politically-Incorrect Villain: Damien.
  • Precision F-Strike: "Shabbat Shalom, motherfuckers!"
    • When Adam Goldberg was first given the script, he opened to a random page, saw the line, and immediately agreed to do the film.
  • Pretty in Mink: A dame in a fur coat shows up at Hammer's office, but he tells her she wants Mike Hammer.
  • Private Detective: Hebrew Hammer Investigations. According to his credentials, Carver is a "Certified Circumsized Dick."
  • Refuge in Audacity: On a ride through the Underground Jewish Railroad, Esther and Mordechai laugh at both Jewish slaves being whipped by Egyptians, the Nazis yelling at Jewish prisoners... but when a store clerk tells a Jewish woman "Your credit card has been declined." "Oy!", they become very somber and nod at each other in a "I feel her pain" way.
    • A chairman of the Jewish Media Conspiracy suggests to solve part of the film's conflict by releasing another Adam Sandler film.
  • Rule of Funny
  • Saving Christmas: While the main plot is about saving Hanukkah, the heroes are also saving Christmas from a power-mad dictator in Damien.
  • Sexy Santa Dress: The ladies helping Santa even the new one after Damien is taken down.
  • Tyrant Takes the Helm: Damien assumes the position of Santa Claus after ordering the reindeer to murder the real Santa.
  • Underground Railroad: A rare literal example.
  • Unflinching Walk: After the fight at Duke's.
  • Wig, Dress, Accent: Carver and Esther disguise themselves as gentiles to get close to Santa at a public appearance.