The Last Boy Scout

And then some.

"This is the '90s. You don't just go around punching people. You have to say something cool first." —Joe Hallenbeck

The Last Boy Scout is a 1991 neo-noir action film starring Bruce Willis as a former Secret Service agent, now working as a private detective, and Damon Wayans as a retired professional football player. The two join forces to solve the murder of Wayans' character’s girlfriend (played by the then-obscure Halle Berry). The entire film consists of often violent action scenes and an endless parade of one-liners. Classic example of better than it sounds.

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Tropes

• Asshole Victim: Mike Matthews has an affair with Joe’s wife and tries to get him to take Cory’s case to get him killed. Thus, it’s not all that sad to see him get killed in a car bomb.
• Ax Crazy: Milo is all smiles until he's murdering anyone who gets in his way, and he's very fond of making brutal death threats that he will carry out without hesitation.
• Badass Boast: "You touch me again and I'll kill ya."
• Big Bad: Sheldon Marcone.
• Bond One-Liner - The final scene of the movie has the Damon Wayans and Bruce Willis discussing future use of Bond One-Liners.
• Boom! Headshot!: Billy Cole, in a self-inflicted case. This is Milo’s favorite way of disposing of people, as McClaskey and the guy whose pool Milo’s car crashes into can attest to.
• Bullying a Dragon: Chet decides to mock and punch a tied up Joe despite Milo’s warnings and Joe threatening to kill him if he is touched again. The result is Joe kicking Chet’s nose into his brain.
• Bratty Teenage Daughter: Darian. However, she comes from an extremely troubled home so it's understandable (mostly), and she only behaves this way with Joe.
• Card-Carrying Villain: Milo

Joe: You're the bad guy. Milo: I am the bad guy.

• Chekhov's Gun: The duo comes across a box of shotgun shells. Later, Jimmy uses one to help Joe, Darian and himself escape Marcone.
• Cool and Unusual Punishment

Milo: Just once, I would like to hear you scream in pain. Joe Hallenbeck: Play some rap music.

• Crapsack World: Taken almost to parodic heights.
  • "Nobody likes you. Everybody hates you. You're gonna lose."
• Deadpan Snarker: Hallenbeck always win the snarking contest against other characters. See below.
• Death by Irony: Billy Cole, after shooting his way through the opposing team thanks to being threatened with death by Milo if he doesn’t win (and a bit of PCP), winds up shooting himself after all he did to survive. He lampshades it with his last words, too.

Billy ColeAin’t life a bitch?

• The Dragon: Milo.
• Driven to Suicide: Billy Cole.
• Drugs Are Bad: Manages to do this in a reasonably subtle way, contrasting Joe's zero tolerance with justifying Jimmy's addiction through his tragic backstory.
• Embarrassing Middle Name:

Jimmy: Danger’s my middle name. Joe: Mine’s Cornelius. Tell anybody, I’ll kill ya.

• Eureka Moment: Overlaps with Oh Crap with Joe, as Jimmy hints that the supposed key he tossed into Marcone's fireplace is "the kind that Shred."
• Eye Scream: Milo threatens Joe with this at one point.

Joe: Go fuck yourself. Milo: Okay. Now, that's not very polite. (Pulls out a switchblade and presses it to Joe's face) It's very abusive-sounding. What would you do, Joseph, if somebody told you to go fuck yourself? Would you cut one of their eyes out? Joe: No. Milo: No? What would you do? You think you're so fucking cool, don't you? Well once, just once, I would like to hear you scream in pain.

• Faux Affably Evil: Marcone and Milo. Both lose their niceness VERY quickly.
• Friend to All Children: Despite his drug problems and short temper, Jimmy is remarkably good with kids, if Darian is any indication because they quickly bond with each other after a little friction.
• Gorn: Brutal moments punctuated by humor. There is a scene where Joe punches Chet’s NOSE through HIS BRAIN!!!! Also the infamous helicopter scene.
• Gory Discretion Shot: McClaskey being shot in the face by Milo.
• Helicopter Blender: Milo, after being shot by a SWAT team, falls into the blades of a police helicopter. He is completely obliterated.
• If We Survive This

Joe Hallenbeck: "I swear to Christ that if I survive this fucking case I'm gonna dance a jig." He does.

• Jerk with a Heart of Gold: Joe. However, it's buried pretty deep under a cover of sarcasm and self-loathing so it's nearly a Hidden Heart of Gold at certain points.
• Knight of Cerebus: While the film isn't sunshine and rainbows at any point, things get significantly darker after Milo shows up.
• Like You Would Really Do It: Unintentional, retrospective aversion for modern viewers--yes, they really would kill off Halle Berry's character after a couple of scenes, because when this film was made she was a no-name playing a bit part.
• Little Miss Badass: Darian Hallenbeck.
• Love Hurts: "I wish the sky wasn't blue. I wish that water wasn't wet. And I wish I didn't still love my wife."
• Metaphor Is My Middle Name
• One-Hit Kill

"Told ya."

• Pre-Ass-Kicking One-Liner - quote on top of the page
  • "Touch me again and I'll kill you."
• Private Detective: Joe Hallenbeck.
• Punctuated Pounding
  • "I told ya [BIFF!] if you touch me again [BAM!] I'll KILL YA! [POW!]"
• Sesquipedalian Loquaciousness - Milo
  • As well as Scrabble Man
    • "The envelope, very smart. See, Jake, here's a man who knows when a situation is untenable."
• Slimeball: Mike.
• Stuffed in The Fridge: Cory. An especially egregious example when you condsider that Joe and Jimmy spend the rest of the movie tossing out flippant one-liners.
• Take Me Out At the Ball Game
• Vitriolic Best Buds: Joe and Jimmy.
• What Would X Do?:

Jimmy: What would Joe do...(Beat) He'd kill everyone, and then smoke some cigarettes.

• World of Snark: The WHOLE movie is flooding with this.