The Maiden Heist

File:Maiden-heist-FL-Nov-01 7428.jpg

What could possibly go wrong?

The Maiden Heist is a 2009 comedy starring Christopher Walken, Morgan Freeman, William H Macy, and Marcia Gay Harden.

Roger (Walken) is a member of the security team of a prominent art museum, though much of the time his attentions are focused solely on one painting: "The Lonely Maiden". His obsession is such that it affects his relationship with his wife, Rose (Gay-Harden). Charles (Freeman) works in guest relations and has a similar fascination with another painting, and George (Macy) is a night watchman who is perhaps too familiar with a particular statue. When they hear that their exhibits are due to be shipped off to a museum in Denmark, they team up to keep it from happening. After numerous canned plans, they decide to steal the paintings during the move and switch forgeries in their place.Hilarity ensues.

Was originally supposed to be released theatrically, but the bankruptcy of its distributor forced it to be sent directly to DVD.

---

Tropes include:

• Accentuate the Negative: When the three have collected their forgeries, each one knows that they aren't perfect despite their flawless appearance. George is the first to realize that it's because they're so obsessed with their individual pieces that they just know something is amiss; it has nothing to do with their quality at all.
• Book Ends: The film opens with Roger staring at the painting in question. A guard in the museum in Denmark acts the same way with the forgery.
• Cargo Ship: Each of the guys with their respective pieces of art. To call it an obsession would be putting it lightly.
• Chekhov's Gag: George stripping down whenever he's alone with his statue.
• Crazy Cat...Man?: Charles's obsession with his painting has led to his hoarding of many, many cats; he is a rare male invocation of this trope.
• Crowning Moment of Awesome: Despite all their blunders, the heist ends as though it were without a hitch.
  • Perhaps most impressively, Roger being able to talk a suspicious security guard out of taking the crate with George in it.
• Crowning Moment of Funny: Roger's fantasy in the very beginning. Made more hilarious in that his foes are armed with fully-automatic weapons and all he has is a handgun, yet he still maintains one shot per kill.
  • Any time George takes his clothes off.

Rose: Roger...is this the surprise?

• • The rappell practice, most especially Roger's turn.

Roger: [Tilting straight back] I think my hands are slipping. George: Which one? Roger: Both of them.

• Crowning Moment of Heartwarming: Roger learns to live without the painting (after he gets it, of course), and falls in love with his wife again.
• Daydream Surprise: The fantasy gunfight that opens the film.
• Cute Kitten: Charles' obsession with the painting seems to stem from the cat featured in it.
• Direct to DVD: after the distributor, Yari Film Group, went bankrupt
• Exposition Diagram: Both the first and the third form apply; George creates a miniature diorama of the museum's floorplan and uses chess pieces and toy soldiers to signify themselves and guards moving through the museum. Small stop-motion animated sequences illustrate the plans put forward...and their failures.
• Fan Disservice: Unless you've always wanted to see William H. Macy's ass.
• Fetish Fuel: George's statue is supposed to be "the epitome of...the naked male form".
• Guns Akimbo: Roger does this during his fantasy that opens the film.
• Hey, It's That Guy!: Roger is Max Zorin and Cpl. Nick Chevotarevich. George is Senator Ortolan K. Finistirre. Charles is Ellis Redding and God. Rose is Celeste Boyle and Nancy Abbey.
  • The artist that does Roger's painting is none other than Breckin Meyer.
• Hilarity Ensues: Essentially the entire plan from start to finish.
• Informed Ability: George claims to have served in the invasion of Grenada, and he has plenty of gear, but his skills in practice are...well...
• I'm Okay: George after his "rappell" down the side of the apartment building.
• MacGuffin: The works of art.
• Mistaken for Gay: George insists that his obsession with the statue is merely from an artistic standpoint, and not a sexual one, and even though he takes off his clothes every time he sees it, it's never in a sexual manner; he's comparing the statue's physique to his own. In fact, it's so similar that the duplicate statue is based off of his own body.
• Naked People Are Funny: See "fan disservice" above.
• Oh Crap: During the swap, one of the guards unexpectedly makes his way down to the storage facility.
  • "I'm already out!"
• Semper Fi: George is a former Marine (or at least claims to be one) and salutes Roger and Charles with "Semper Fi".
• Your Other Left