 YMMV •
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Really, some articles go a little further than you'd expect. Several overlap with Complete Monster.
- "Blood...Blood Everywhere".
- "CDC Officials Announce Free Ice Cream For Everyone, Delicious Tasty Ice Cream, And Also There Is An Ebola Outbreak". Body Horror and Gorn are the least you can say about it.
- "Children Of All Ages Delighted By Enslavement Of Topsy The Elephant". Also And I Must Scream.
- "If It's Any Consolation, Your Daughter Probably Died Almost Immediately Of Sheer Terror". Uh, you probably shouldn't read that one. Unless, you know, you didn't plan on sleeping tonight or anything like that.
- "Interim Apple Chief Under Fire After Unveiling Grotesque New MacBook". When they said "grotesque", they weren't fucking around.
- "Kidnapped Boy Found Safe, Imagines Kidnapped Boy". Jeez.
- "Mother Teresa Sent To Hell In Wacky Afterlife Mix-Up".
- "Neverland Ranch Investigators Discovers Corpse Of Real Michael Jackson".
- "No Parent Should Ever Have To Bury His Child Alive". Holee-shit.
- "Should We Do More To Reduce Violence In Our Dreams?"
- "There Was Definitely A Point During That Stoning Where We All Thought, 'Is This Weird?'"
- "Victim In Fatal Car Accident Tragically Not Glenn Beck", specifically the description of the victim's death. Don't read it if you want to sleep tonight.
- "Abusive Father Can't Wait To See The Art He's Inspiring His Kids To Create"
- Back to The Onion