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Two Lumps is a web comic about two purebred Russian Blue cats. Ebenezer Dusk, Esq. (usually referred to as "Eben" or "Benny"), is a scholarly cat with a never-fully-described position in the feline conspiracy to take over the world. His brother Snooch is overweight and not exactly bright, but gets a great deal of enjoyment out of life (aided by large quantities of alcohol). The two cats live with "Mom," their human owner provider of food and attention.
The comic is written by Mel Hynes, and drawn by James Grant. It was inspired by Mel's two purebred Russian Blue cats, Raistlin and Caramon (named for the Dragonlance characters — three guesses why they were renamed for the comic). It updates three times per week, and can be found here.
Two Lumps began publishing in 2003. As of June 2020, it is still active, however due at least one site move in the intervening 17 years the older strips are not available.
- Brand X: Eben wears "Squishypaws" (real product is SoftPaws) to minimize claw damage to furniture.
- One story arc involved the cats' human "Mom" getting a "uRobot" (Roomba).
- Brick Joke: From the first comic. Comes up again on the first anniversary.
- Casanova: Eben thinks he qualifies. Nightmare disagrees.
- Cats Are Mean: Eben, frequently.
- Cloudcuckoolander: Snooch
- Cone of Shame: Snooch had to wear a cone, and was using it as a megaphone.
- Creator Couple: Mel and James celebrated the third anniversary of the comic by getting married.
- Deadpan Snarker: Eben.
- Did You Just Pee On Cthulhu: See the third entry under Eldritch Abomination.
- Eldritch Abomination: Automatic litter boxes possessed by demons, a gate to the Silent Hill world in the bathroom of their new home, a new mop that's a Cthuloid critter in disguise ....
- Extreme Omnivore: Snooch. Among the things he's consumed are a bowl of change, scented candles, and fireworks.
- Don't forget cement
- The Faceless: Most humans ("Mom" in particular) appear either from the knees down or as voices issuing from off-panel.
- Filk Song: Mel enjoys writing strips where all the dialogue is filked songs.
- Gratuitous Japanese: Neither Mel nor James know what the kanji that shows up on occasion means.
- Hulk Speak: Eben resorts to this to sum up the "moving day" story arc to Snooch:
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- I Read It for the Articles: Eben's justification for reading "Cat Fancy".
- In Memoriam: This strip, after Caramon died.
- Now Raistlin, too.
- Incredibly Lame Pun: Both the cats pull these on a regular basis.
- It Tastes Like Feet: Baby powder does not taste like real babies, evidently.
- Lethal Chef: Not that either of them cooks often, but do we even want to know why Snooch's recipe for brownies includes mustard and garlic?
- Lolcat: Snooch speaks in this on occasion, and specific memes have been referenced, including this Incredibly Lame Pun.
- Major-General Song: I am the very model of a shedding individual...
- Oh My Gods: "Great Bast!" among many, many others.
- Shout-Out: At one point Eben and Snooch encountered a street cat named Tasselhoff, a reference to Dragonlance (and the origin of the real-life cats' names).
- Strawman Political: The household recently acquired a goldfish that speaks almost entirely in stereotyped right-wing rhetoric.
- Take That: A Filler Strip jab at Megatokyo, and the occasional poke at Garfield in earlier strips.
- They've also made jabs at Dinosaur Comics.
- Thought Bubble Speech
- Tribute to Fido: Both cats are based on the author's (now deceased) pets.
- Whole-Plot Reference: They've done arcs based on A Christmas Carol, Wizard of Oz, Alice in Wonderland, and The Cask of Amontillado.