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"I like when they say a movie is inspired by a true story. That's kind of silly. 'Hey, Mitch, did you hear that story about that lady who drove her car into the lake with her kids and they all drowned?' 'Yeah, I did, and you know what — that inspires me to write a movie about a gorilla!'"
—Mitch Hedberg, "Do You Believe in Gosh?"
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"From the accounts which have reached me, the Death Star assault in Star Wars is a better fictionalization of the attack on Pearl Harbor than Pearl Harbor."
Benjamin "Gryphon" Hutchins, Eyrie Productions Unlimited Forums
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"The story you are about to see is absolutely true — except for the stuff we made up to make it more interesting."
Television, Garfield
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Osaka: Oh, Ah see. That story about the mold aliens was all made up!

Yomi: Why would you think... it was real?

Osaka: There was a real sense of reality to it.

Tomo: Of course there was! It was based on a true story!

Yomi: No, it was not!
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"The best thing about the biopic is that Hollywood is free to embellish the back story as much as they would like. How do you know Ray Charles didn't really walk on the moon? Were you there? No, so shut up and watch the movie."
Adam Brown, Cracked
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"God writes lousy theatre."
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"It's a wonderful story. But it's not mine."
Maria von Trapp, about The Sound of Music
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"We would now like to thank you for bearing with us during this story, which contains no factual basis other than the existence of elephants — and gayness."
Jon Stewart, The Daily Show
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"Sometimes a movie comes along and takes on special meaning because it's based on a true story, and so we watch with rapt attention knowing that some real dude lived through all the awesomeness on screen. But if you're going to go with the "Based On A True Story" tag, all we ask is that you make the stories sort of, you know, true. You can do that, right? Not if these movies are any indication."
Cracked, "7 Movies Based on a True Story (That Are Complete Bullshit)"
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Frank: Has anyone looked at this sexual harassment stuff they gave us?

Tracy: I don't need to. The whole thing is loosely based on an evening I spent with Isiah Thomas.
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"I reckon there's more things told than are true.

And more things true than are told."
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