What an Idiot!/Family Feud

Host: Name a Game Show known for stupid answers from contestants. Trope-tan: [buzzes in] Family Feud. Host: Show me... Family Feud! (clang) (ding-ding-ding) Host: Number-one answer! You have control, play or pass? Trope-tan: We're gonna play! Host: Name a Game Show known for stupid answers from contestants. Next member of the Trope-Tan family: Sixty Minutes! Host: ...

Note: As with the other Game Show pages in What an Idiot!, some of the following contestants may very well have given these stupid answers on purpose. That doesn't make them any less stupid, mind you, but instead become far more worthy of being here. Just about all the times this happens, they blurt out the first thing that comes to mind.

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Richard Dawson (1976-85, 1994-95)

• July 1976: "Name the time that you wake up." "In the morning." "Name the time that you go to bed." "At night." (Funnily, the second answer was actually worth two points.)
• September 2, 1977: One family had a member who gave "Frog" as an answer for "Name an animal with three letters in its name" in Fast Money, followed by "Regular" as "A brand of gasoline", then cranked the stupidity Up to Eleven with "Snow" as an answer for "Name something that comes with a Summer storm". His father managed to go Up to Eleven with an even worse answer of "Alligator" on the first question, but he at least had something of an excuse since he had apparently misheard the question (although the excuse only reduced it to being a pretty bad answer instead of a mind-bogglingly bad one, since he said he misheard it as "three of the same letter"). Also, he answered "Ethyl" for a brand of gasoline. He actually gave pretty decent (albeit not top-scoring) answers to the other three questions, supporting his claim that he had just misheard the two he gave bad answers for. However, he had no such excuse for an answer he gave on the following show:

Richard Dawson: You're a man of the world, traveled all over the world. Name something Russia is famous for, Bob. Bob: Russians. (audience laughs) Richard Dawson: (to audience) You reckon he's been lying, that he's not been anywhere at all? Just been telling me fibs?

• • A member of the same family had also guessed "Wheat" too ... somehow.
• 1978: A plethora of bad answers:

Dawson: Name something made with milk. Contestant 1: Calcium. Dawson: Other than the burger, tell me something in a Big Mac. Contestant 1: Tomato. (Which is not an ingredient.) Dawson: Name the last TV show people watch before going to bed. Contestant 2: Next question. (Taken as "pass.")

• Fall 1980: The "September" clip is probably the most infamous one. Dawson just can't stop laughing when asking the same question ("During what months of pregnancy does a woman begin to look pregnant?") of the second contestant, and just as he finally gets back on track, the second contestant gives another stupid answer ("Name a noisy bird." "Cuckoo."). He then allows the second contestant to go past her time limit, shouting "to hell with that!" when the time's-up buzzer sounds.
• A string of bad answers, and a very rare example of the first contestant scoring 0 points in their turn at Fast Money:

Dawson: Name something associated with pigs. Contestant: Grease. Dawson: Name something you put in your ear. Contestant: Ear wax. Dawson: Something you add to tomato juice. Contestant: Tomatoes.

• • Even worse, this contestant dawdled so long on each answer they didn't get past that question!
• An incident where a contestant rushes to answer a question:

Dawson: Name something made of leather... (contestant immediately buzzes in) Dawson: Yes, sir? Contestant: A purse. Dawson: You're gonna be slightly embarrassed when I finish this question. A purse? (Strike sound) Dawson: (laughing a bit) Name something made of leather that a cowboy uses. (audience laughs)

• Another odd Face-Off:

Dawson: Name something you may accidentally leave on all night. Contestant: (after buzzing-in) Your shoes. Dawson: I hope you don't take this the wrong way, Kenneth, but you are weird. (turns to board) Shoes! (Strike sound) Contestant #2: Your bra? Dawson: Your bra! (Strike sound) Dawson: You're a little strange.

• Dawson was nearly driven to despair on one occasion where the question was "Name a question such as 'How old are you?' that you might answer with a lie." Things quickly went wrong when the first contestant interrupted Dawson after he said, "How old are you?" and gave her supposed age ("18"), which of course got no points. Then, the second contestant in line also gave an age even after Dawson kept explaining the question; a third contestant gave "What's your occupation?" and fourth gave "Do you have a prison record?" (which Dawson replied "Do you?") which both got no points. Finally, the fifth contestant asked gave the #1 answer of "How much do you weigh?"
  • The next time they used this question, it was rephrased as "'How old are you?' is a question you might answer with a lie. Name another." No confusion that time.
• This trifecta of stupid answers:

Dawson: Name an article of clothing children always lose. Contestant: Their pants. Dawson: The price of a dozen roses. Contestant: $1.75. Dawson: Besides a bird, name something in a birdcage. Contestant: Hamster. Dawson: A popular... (timer stops) Dawson: (Beat) Make a note of this show.

• 1982: "Name something parents buy for their son before he goes to college." "Toaster oven."
  • Thanks to Technology Marches On, it's not a stupid answer anymore.
• "Name something that can kill a lively party." "A gun."
• "Name a part of the telephone." "The bottom part."
• "Name a children's story about an animal." After a long pause, one contestant rings in with "David and Goliath".
• "Name an invention that has since replaced stairs." "The wheel."
• Another weird Fast Money:

Dawson: Name something you squeeze. Contestant: Peanut butter. (timer stops, Dawson makes hand motions in an vain attempt to understand her logic)

• This memorable question to a female contestant:

Dawson: Name the first article of clothing you take off when you get home from work. Contestant: Um, underwear? (everyone laughs as she gasps) Contestant: What am I saying?! Dawson: Next question — what time do you get home from work?

• Another Face-Off question:

Dawson: Name a reason you might stay indoors on a beautiful day. (teenage contestant immediately buzzes-in) Contestant: Because it's raining? (immediately folds over, Face Palming) Dawson: Raining? (Strike sound) Dawson: You're, uh... Contestant: We'll play! Dawson: You're, uh (chuckles), you're not planning to go to Cornell, are you?

• "Name something you buy that might turn out to be phony." "A horse." "The ol' 'phony horse' gag!"
• "Name a yellow fruit." "Orange."
• "Real or fictional, name a famous Willie." "Willie the Pooh?"
• "Name a noisy bird." "Chipmunk."
• "Name a city in the state of Georgia." "Alabama."
• "Name a famous Rudolf." "Rudolf Hitler."
  • Conversely: "Name a famous reindeer." "Adolph."
• "Name an occupation in which you disguise your appearance." "A doctor."
• "Name a kind of attraction you see in almost every parade." "A merry-go-round."
• "Name something you buy in a large size if you have a large family." "Jeans."
• This face-off:

Dawson: Name something you wash once a week. (contestant buzzes in) Dawson: Claudia? Claudia: Yourself. Dawson: Yourself? (the audience laughs) Dawson: I will not be coming around...

• "Name a kind of bear." "Papa bear."
• 1985: This one didn't lead to an extended laughing attack (a la the infamous "September" answer), but Richard sure thought it was funny:

Dawson: Name something you make conversation about when you meet a total stranger. Contestant: Mutual friends? Dawson: (chuckles, as audience begins to laugh) I don't think I've seen him before. How's Harry? (beat) Who's Harry? My friend ... "

• Unknown:

Dawson: "Name a pie that does not contain fruit." Contestant: Lemon meringue.

• This particular Fast Money instant was featured in the Gameshow Marathon episode:

Dawson: Name a food that comes in instant form. Contestant: Asparagus.

Ray Combs (1988-94)

• "Name something normally worn only by children." "Clothes."
• This gem:

Combs: Name a famous country/western singer. Contestant: Van Waylon? Combs: Van Waylon. Van Waylon...we've got the #2 answer up there, and I'm pretty sure it's Van Waylon. I have no doubt. (mouths "No way!" to the camera; cue audience's laughter) Show me...Van Waylon! (Strike sound)

• During a Fast Money round:

Combs: I asked you to name a dangerous piece of playground equipment. You said "A tire." (audience erupts) Well, if it's still attached to the car, it would be dangerous.

• "Name a type of fly." "Butterfly."
  • "Mosquito."
• Another gem:

Combs: Name a country in South America. Contestant: Africa.

There were more bad answers, including Spain, Fiji, Armenia and Saudi Arabia.

• "Name a birthday men dread the most." "Wife's."

Must have forgotten the Mrs. a few times.

• "When kids finally move out of the house, name something specific they often leave behind." "Your parents."
  • "A blender."
  • "Their boyfriend or their girlfriend."
• Unfortunate Implications abound:

Combs: Name something associated with evil. Contestant: The color black. (the other team, an African-American family, grimaces)

• Another bad Fast Money guess:

Combs: A way parents reward children. Contestant: Time-out. (as in punishment time out)

Louie Anderson (1999-2002)

• "Name something teenage boys can do for hours at a time." "Masturbate."
• One that's aired on blooper specials:

Anderson: Name a part of the body that gets bigger as adults get older. (contestant buzzes-in) Anderson: Freddie. Contestant: Uh...penis.

• And all those answers that netted the respondent the coveted Dumb Answer of the Day trophy.

Richard Karn (2002-06)

• One episode in Karn's second season had "Name a character from The Andy Griffith Show" as a question. The family who won control of this question got Andy, the #1 answer, pretty quickly...only to give completely nonsensical answers thereafter, making it very obvious that they'd never even seen the show. Needless to say, they got three strikes pretty quickly, and their opponents stole easily.
• 2000s: Before a faceoff, a lady buzzed-in before Karn read the question.

Karn: Ooh, ooh, I know! Pick me!

• 2000s: "Name something you feel before you buy it."

Contestant: "Excited."

• March 14, 2003: One Fast Money round was just loaded with stupid answers. The first contestant offered 15 as an answer to "Tell me the age that even someone with good vision might need reading glasses", Los Angeles for "a city known for its museums" and milk for "something that pours very slowly". And the second contestant's answers were hardly any better:

Karn: Tell me a man's name that starts with the letter K. Contestant: Kentucky Fried Chicken. Karn: Name a food that's red on the inside. Contestant: Watermelon. (buzz-buzz) Kiwi. Karn: Name a city known for its museums. Contestant: L.A. (buzz-buzz) England.

• 2000s: An idiot moment here, when the opposing family went for the steal with five of the six answers showing. The question was "Name a country beside the US that you admire." Africa and Europe were teammates suggestions and the captain went for Europe.
• 2000s: One episode had the question "Name a famous rabbit". After being stumped, one contestant on the returning team just answered with "Daffy Rabbit".
• 2000s: One episode featured the question "Name something that rises." The first couple of contestants said reasonable things like "dough", but the third contestant replied with "a cock". Quoth the Karn, who was probably trying to dodge the issue: "You mean like a rooster, right?"
• 2000s: During a Fast Money round:

Karn: Name a sport husbands and wives play together, you said..."Kickball"! You know, you're not usually married in the 3rd Grade...

• From the same Fast Money round:

Karn: Name an animal you might see drinking out of a pond. Contestant: Elephant. Karn: Name a state that likes country music. Contestant: Texas. (buzz-buzz) Idaho.

• Yet another pair of stupid answers:

Karn: An occupation that might make $100 an hour. Contestant: Construction. Karn: A class students enjoy going to. Contestant: Beverly Hills.

• And this one:

Richard: Name an animal whose eggs you'd probably never eat for breakfast. Contestant: Hamster. Richard: A hamster! I hate to tell you but, you know, those little pellets aren't eggs.

• A case of the people surveyed giving stupid answers, one episode had Karn ask "What did Dorothy and her friends ask for when they met the Wizard of Oz?" (or something to that effect). All the answers on the board except the last one were uncovered and the teams were trying to guess what the last one could be. The last answer? "Which way does the road go?" The answer is obviously incorrect since they wouldn't need to know where the road goes, having already followed it to the Wizard! (Or you could just watch the movie). A few people asked must have confused the Wizard with Glinda.
• Name something you'd find in an operating room. You said: "Operator"! Well, somebody's gotta operate!
• This Fast Money round:

Karn: Name something dogs do better than people. You said: "Pee"! (everybody laughs) Karn: They-they can do it better! Contestant: They got a lotta different ways... Karn: They-well, yeah! They got reasons, too! Survey says... (buzzer sounds)

John O'Hurley (2006-10)

• 2000s: A really bad one was the question "Besides America, name a country that begins with the letter A." With Argentina on the board, one contestant said "Asia" and the others went dead silent. For the steal, the captain ends up giving "Amsterdam" while his teammates clearly yell "Australia" and "Afghanistan".
• 2009: "Name a word or phrase that begins with the word 'mouth.'" After one contestant said "Foot-in-mouth" (which also belongs here because it does not begin with the word), the other cost the family the round by proudly answering: "Mighty Mouth."

Al Roker (NBC, Summer 2008)

• "Show me...Captain Winky!"

Steve Harvey (2010-Present)

• Fall 2010: Why you should wait for the question to finish.

Harvey: Name something a woman does for her baby that she- Contestant (after buzzing-in): Changes his diaper. (Strike sound; Steve leans toward her) Harvey (rereading question, a smirk on his face): Name something a woman does for her baby that she also does for her hubby.

• A contestant needed only about 40 points to win Fast Money. But...
  • Name something you might accidentally get hit by at the park: "A car."
  • How many hours do you spend doing housework on a given day: "30 minutes."
  • Name a sport where players wear gloves: "Badminton."
• "Name something that gets passed around."
  • Contestant: A joint!
    • Funnily, a joint came up as the number 5 answer. And hilariously, the number 6 answer was a collection plate.
• The producers, who are clearly too lazy to program a sixth question. In past versions, rounds were scrapped due to malfunctions (two answers being revealed at once), or outside influence (someone offstage yelling out an answer). In Harvey's era, rounds have been played with no problem, only to be abruptly scrapped after the third Strike solely because not enough points were revealed — a Single was ousted for this exact reason, while a Triple was scrapped because the points revealed weren't enough to win and the opponents had 0, although the reason cited was "not wanting to look like they were showing favoritism".
  • They've also, since probably the Karn era when Double questions returned, been swapping out the Double: if a family sweeps the first two rounds, a swept Double will almost always be less than the amount needed to win (and indeed, one such question if swept would've resulted in 299); on the other hand, if the Singles are split, a swept Double will always be enough for a "could've won if you swept them all" scenario. Rarely will a winning Double be used if the question's deemed too hard to sweep, which backfired in a 2007 WWE special; of course, the producers got their revenge by going to commercial during Fast Money.
  • And then there's the new practice of asking for the unrevealed answers bottom-to-top (i.e., 8-7-6-5), which destroys the prior fun of the least-given answers resulting in responses of "I can't believe I didn't say that!" or a general wonder of just who was surveyed.

Unknown/Other

• On at least three separate occasions — twice on Dawson's (one of which was the notorious "alligator" episode above) and once on Combs' — both contestants in Fast Money misinterpreted the question "Name a brand of gasoline", instead giving types of gasoline (e.g., unleaded). In response to the contestant from the "alligator" episode:

Dawson: You said "ethyl", which I believe you've been drinking.

• "Name something commonly found in a woman's purse." "A cat."
• "Name something a blind man might use." "A sword."
• "Name a fictional character other than Superman who can fly." "Batman."
• "Name a bill that's always more than you think it will be." The top answers were "Plumber bill" and "Auto repair bill" — a contestant said "Hundred-dollar bill". After a brief anxious silence, the host gave the contestant another chance. The contestant's new answer? "Thousand-dollar bill!"
• In one episode, a player was asked "Name a part that's readily available and on-hand in an auto parts store". The answer he gave? Oil. It was the #1 answer, which means the majority of those surveyed made the same mistake.
• In a rare video game example, one question in the Game Boy Advance video game (released October 12, 2006) is "Name something Charlie Brown might do." An AI contestant's response? "Snoopy."
  • Tool-Assisted Speedrunners managed to make the SNES version (released 1993) look pretty idiotic, with vulgar and nonsensical answers counting as valid. That said, an observant viewer may notice that the legit answers are contained, in a proper left-to-right order not unlike Split Decision, in the nonsensical ones.
    • For example, "Name a piece of clothing that leaves a mark when you take it off." The answer of "Abracadabra I win" is accepted for "Bra" because the game read it as "_bra_______ _ ___". Or "Swiss Murder Suit" taken as "Bathing Suit" because it read "Swi__ m_____ suit".
    • Even the actual, unaltered, SNES game had occasional stupidity moments. For example, "Name a first experience" is responded to with "Taking a huge crap." It actually showed up on the board as "Kiss".
    • A similar experience occured with the 2012 Edition for the Wii with the guys from Giant Bomb, who answered the question "Name a way people got around before cars were invented" with "Bike" and got the number one answer: "Horseback." Cue a flurry of Flat Whats from the guys themselves.
  • The Facebook version seems to have been programmed by idiots. Completely random phrases will count as valid, and a Christmas-themed makeover had a question about "What do people associate with A Christmas Carol?" The top answer is Christmas, which suddenly makes that Russia question a whole lot funnier.
• From the Australian version when it was hosted by Bert Newton.

Bert: Name a celebrity known by only one name. Contestant: Brangelina.

• Another instance:

Bert: Name something that increases and decreases in price as people buy and sell it. Contestant: Weet-Bix!

• • Food in general was an answer, of course.
• "Name a famous US mountain." The answer? "Mt. Everest."
• From the PC version, "Name something that is fluffy." "Grass."
• From the the German TV version, "Name a black and yellow striped insect." "Giraffe."
• From the Russian version, one contestant spent the whole 20 seconds in Fast Money in total silence.